Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

Re curly wurlys - stick them in the freezer and they take much longer to eat. That is my Top Tip of the Day.

evening, just been to weigh in and I have lost 3 1/2 lb in 2 weeks which got me my Club 10 and 1.5 stone certificates (what the feck am I supposed to do with these things ), Oh and stickers too. I'm celebrating with a Chinese ready meal and a glass of wine!

Pony has someone eaten the bodies of the bunnies and just stuffed them back in the jar, most odd. C4ro I have brought my Easter egg home from work, it's still in the boot of the car which is keeping me from scoffing it, since you aren't going to eat it anyway maybe best leaving it to the contractor. You will also have the moral high ground.

Only realised the other day I don't need to boycott Barclays any-more! now I am showing my age

Oh dear, I have got drunk and eaten 2 hot cross buns, one of them with cheese in homage to my Yorkshire BIL who considers this the only sane thing to do with fruity baked goods...

Well done Jenny!

Hedgepig - well done on getting Club 10 and 1.5stone awards.

I'm not expecting to be good today - am off to my mum's in a minute to watch the wedding and she's got loads of party food in.

woohoo hedgepig-well done me deariedoo!

I got drunk last night and I think I had a little binge eat when I got home. Im pretty sure it consisted of a pack of ham and 2 cooked cold pork chops with sweet chilli sauce poured on them. weird snacking for a drunken woman but I didn't tuck into dd's easter eggs or toats or any of the normal things so even in my drunken state I must of had slimming world in mind.

Jenny 10 years boycott! That's some stamina lass but I have to say; kitkats are well nice.

OnlyAPhase I think my freezer is currently full of B+J cookie dough icecream... good idea for the C-W.

Hedgepig WHOOP! I am not a SW but I assume your club 10+certificate is a celebratory tea-and-medals for doing damn well on weight loss. I have let the contractor keep the easter egg

fishandlilacs I think that only counts as touching your foot off the wagon rather than a proper tumble off.

Where are you all! You can't all be watching that dull royal wedding pap. Not much wedding hysteria over here in Holland thankfully although for some reason all our receptionists were excitedly watching CNN at lunch when I went past. They're all Dutch- what on earth do they care about it? Anyway, enough grumbly scroogey from me. Enjoy your day off that I didn't get UK peeps.

I love a wedding I even got my dress out (doesn't fit)

It was a lovely dress wasn't it stinky sob. I have been at a picnic all afternoon and drunk and eaten far too much. Cheers all

If it weren't so "funny", I'd be crying. I appear to be putting on weight. :(

Maybe I ought to embrace my inner (ha!) zaftig and buy a muu-muu in every colour?

I attended the street party, and remained strong in the face of cider on tap, and BBQ - DH decided to have a flexible syns day for the cider, but was very good rolling home at 7pm in time to help put the kids to bed.

I thought Pippa looked awesome in the dress, especially from the rear - so jealous!

DD2 has just learned to stand, so spent most of last night lying her down again, little rascal. I am very hungry today - when I am tired I just want to tough.

stinky I got married in an Armani suit that doesn't fit me at the moment. I'll have to drop 2 dress sizes to get in it as well.

Alpine Chin up lass, it can only be temporary- you're doing everything right the gym, riding; it'll come. Are you putting the scales in the same place each time you weight yourself? Mine will change readings if I move them around too much.

Hello all

Congrats to the losers and comisserations to the gainers. And a big fat welcome to the Newbies.

I have been avoiding this thread as Easter has been an utter tragedy in diet terms.

I did weigh on Tuesday. Or was it Wednesday? The days just blur into one when I'm not at work. The scales showed a 1lb loss. But...and it's a huge but (not unlike my own)...since then I have eaten like 2 men and a wee lad and drank (Guinness of all things! Went out with the intention of supping G&(slimline)T but somehow ended up sinking pints and pints of wonderfulGuinness). Followed by a chinese takeaway. When I fail, I FAIL!

Had a PT session today and worked bloody hard so it's back on the wagon again. Hopefully, I can cling to that 1lb loss for this week's weigh in and I'll be delighted if I've managed not to gain anything.

DP had dangled a huge metaphorical carrot cake in front of me and has offered an a-fucking-mazing holiday later in the year to celebrate his recent promotion (we already had a modest holiday arranged for next month). 'Twas an imminenet holiday that kick started my weight loss and led to me losing 4 stone is about 6 months so I need to recreate that frame of mind ann kick diet ass for the coming months...

Starting Monday, natch

Fuckity. Apologies for the typos above...my fat fingers can only mash blindly at the keyboard...

Who mentioned Zumba?

I'm a Zumba-er. Twice a week at least. It's my cardio exercise of choice (with blessing of PT so it's definitely not the pseudo-exercise I once feared that it might be). Have my first Zumba-thon this week which is basically 3 classes back-to-back....

St Johns Ambulance have been alerted.

Fuck 4 stone in 6 months? Thats incredible and the stuff my dreams are made of.

"since then I have eaten like 2 men and a wee lad" That made me laugh so much.

This week has been a disaster for me, a total wipeout. I am clinging to the fact that it is May tomorrow and I have nothing of any interest to do in May so there is nothing to stand in the way of healthy eating, exercise and massive weight loss. With that in mind I am eating the last of the Easter chocolate right now to ensure ultimate thinness tomorrow

Did we ever get the list for this week?

Ahem.

I've just realised that asking about the list made me look like a passive aggressive turd and I should have just flicked through the pages of the last few days.
Am hugely apologetic and offer carrot sticks and other foods of dieting joy to atone.

Dear Pix you didn't look either passive aggressive or turdy, don't worry you silly sausage .

I have actually popped my head round the door to apologise for having been so shiteous and to ask for a kind volunteer to take on list duties on Tuesday's Day of Doom (TM).

Long story short, I have saddled myself with the 2 biggest deadlines of my life thus far (including the discovery that my PhD is not due in October as i had thought, but in June. Yes, in June. As in next month), and am only going to get more shiteous as the weeks pass. If some kind soul could take on the task of reminding folks when the DoD arrives and asking for PMs and collating the list I would be so unutterably grateful I can't tell you. And I'm so so so so sorry for not having got this week's one up.

Had a quick skim read and hooplas to the amazing losses (and the Club 10 target - i know how good that feels!) and commiserations to those occupying one of those bastid plateaus that show up now and then.

I am trying desperately hard to Be Good in view of last week's atrocious display and things aren't going too bad I think - the OM is being a sweetheart and taking on cooking duties while I work to Tuesday's deadline . But I am finding it impossibly difficult to stick to The Plan when I have never in my life been so strained. Tant pis - this too shall pass!

By the way fellows do please share any recipes or recommendations for snacks and meals and somesuch. One of my pals made a SW noodle cake for a royal picnic on Friday - it was just noodles with veg and seasoning pan-fried in Fry Light on each side and sliced into wedges, but it was a lovely carby salty snack that saw me through studies at midnight last night.

Luck, blessing, cheekbones and slender ankles to all. I am now off to watch The Wicker Man (don't ask).

Am I too late to join in? I'm planning on starting SW on Tuesday - once the inlaws leave (needs free access to wine and gin until then)

I had a baby 2 months ago and have about 4 stone to lose ( was overweight pre-pregnancy though and managed not to gain too much throughout). Also I noticed DH was looking rather flabby round the edges thanks to my NEED to have pudding everyday! So hoping it will rub off on him.

Will spend until Tuesday hoffing through Easter eggs, birthday cake and booze while trying to ignore my MIL instructions / interference advice on how to bring up my baby girl!

Never too late, Cheese, although we may have to politely request that you change your user name as the urge to race to the fridge and scoff the block of Manchego that I know DP has hidden in there is overwhelming

Congrats on your baby girl. Commiserations on dealing with the inlaws but I swear by chocolate and gin in any crisis so you'll get through it.

Welcome Cheese and OH LORD now I want some Manchego and membrillo and perhaps a glass of port

Anyone seen my plea for help?

Hello everyone,

I cannot stop stuffing my face with the wrong food at the moment-have totally fell off the wagon. I need my resolve and determination back-but this is the premenstrual week. I seem to crave sweet fatty carbs. Jam donuts would be good, theres also frickin chocolate every frickin where.

I am eating cold cooked chicken and banana's at the moment but the mini eggs are calling me. THe box of easter eggs and cakes and biscuits that MIL "kindly" sent for easter are calling me. I can hear them....make them stop.

I am considering giving my daughter a biscuit easter egg tea tonight just to get the damn things out of the house.

Hello all, just checking in to say I will be so glad when things go back to normal on Tuesday - DD in preschool, DH back to work rather than cluttering up the house all day, and I can have some PEACE!

I've been absent for a while as there didn't seem any point in popping in to say I'd eaten the biscuit aisle of Sainsburys. Have my lovely inlaws staying tonight, so wine and a curry coming my way, and I made some delicious chewy Anzac biscuits this morning, and there a maypole dance in the village tomorrow with cakes, but after that is all over, I will be lean and mean and clean.

Fish I so know what you mean about giving an easter egg tea tonight to get rid of the wretched things.

Bloofer I've taken pity on you and will happily do the reminding of the Day of Doom and lists on Tuesday this week. I am intrigued as to how your deadline has moved up by 5 months, bummer for you though.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh only thank you thank you thank you

You will prolly have to make an announcement or somesuch tomorrow....

Oh gosh, well, I got an 'interruption' of X number of months meaning I could have a break from studies (I study full time) and thought the deadline would be X months from when I resumed studies. It is in fact X months from the original deadline, as any fule could've worked out

And I know what you mean about being back to normal. I was cursing all the family duties over Easter - without that I'd've happily eating SW throughout and would not have gained the 5lb still clinging stubbornly to my arse.

Hello all. I fear that this Tues may be a bit crap too - there have been too many nice social events with food again this week but at least I have tried to be discerning if nothing else... we shall see.

I hope everyone's survived the weekend OK. I managed to eat well and continue with my exercise and the scales seem kinder today. Why do we weigh ourselves daily despite knowing that the body fluctuates so? :( AIBU to feel "perkier" today just because of some stupid electronic number which doesn't tell me that I'm a nice person or a good mummy or anything else so much more important than fitting in to designer jeans?

bloofer I always thought you worked ft and study was on the side. Fackin' students!

stinky Is there any news about the job yet?