Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

Awww Bloof That sucks monkeys [csad]
New week, new weight loss and all that shiz. This time next week the lot of us will be laughing.

vanillaplease you made a wonderful pep talk about a page ago. I've got DH to clear out the choc from the fridge (alright, I did wrestle a twirl off him first) and am getting firmly back on the wagon now. Sorry on later messages you got sideswiped by a X-bun. I think I'm finding getting onto a sensible eating platform harder than giving up smoking. With the smoking it was only 3 minutes of cravings you had to ignore, grit teeth and they got further and further apart and easier over time. The whole eating right thing just doesn't end. It's getting every meal done properly and not having junk in the house and... well, it's just shocking me how much of an relentless effort it is.

AlpinePony Don't you get to wear quite long (arse-covering) jackets when you ride in competitions?

fishandlilacs sounds like the camping was fun. Dodgy guts/ bladders and camping doesn't go together sadly but bad luck on a shit drive home.

Hello Jodialea vivalebeaver.

BlooferLady Bummer about the dud mascara buy. I am on a rabid de-clutter push at the moment and I vote you chuck it's crappy ass in the bin and forget it as fast as you can. Otherwise it'll block the seat as it were like a selfish twat on the bus and stop you getting one you can use. Double bummer that you had a shit weigh week but- it's Easter, there are reasons, don't take it as an irredeemable knockback and do start with some measurements, you're doing the gym so much I will eat my hat (or stinkys daughters easter bonnet in any case) if you're not swapping fat over to muscle and toning up.

OnlyAPhase CCTV review needed to identify the balaclava'd ones with crowbars doing over the scales... You speak sense about the weight gains being mix of fat/ water.

TwoNoisyBoys I am reminded heavily of the Ab Fab when Eddie weighs herself and you see earrings thud to the ground with the comment "Those are real gold, they must weigh more than that!"

Tomorrow my DH is off to Austria to get keys to our new place, buy furniture and get the new place kitted out, sort internet and phone, interview nannies, beg kindergardens to put us near the tops of their over subscribed lists; that sort of thing. I'll be solo with DD for at least the next 3 weeks which I'm not looking forward to at all. I'm perfectly capable really and I've done weeks on my own before when he's been away but there is still so much little bits of paperwork/ packing/ sorting round the house to be done. It is making my head whirl.

I know it is a poo week for many but shouldn't we get the embarrassment of the weekly weigh-in over and done with? I had a small gain of about a quarter of a pound which was much less than I deserved but not great.

argh evening big on self loathing. WHY when there is an exercise bike RIGHT THERE can i not move my arse to sit on it. WHY.
I have weights..why cant i lift those!

boo, just devoured a whole garlic bread stick instead. Satisfying.

Holiday in a week and a half.

Do you all do slimming world? is it better than weight watchers? havent gone with one or the other yet am trying to get some reviews!

evening all, back from my holiday and 1st day back at work today, which was hard. Didn't make any lunch but ordered salad early in the day to keep me on the straight and narrow at lunch time.

It seems like a bit of an up and down week for us all, oddly I have lost weight which I can't understand with the amount b-b-q I have scoffed and wine I have drunk on holiday. Proper SW weigh in tomorrow but according to my scales I have lost 4lb in 2 weeks which can't be right at all

Bloof well done on chucking the flour etc, removing temptation is the only way ::throws tea towel over the DCs chocolate eggs::

I lost 0.5lb here so pretty pleased considering what I have eaten really!

Everyone who had a bad week - chin up and here's to a good one next week

having a starving day. Been good all week but am tempted to go eat a piece/biscuit/pie. uuuurgh.

i lost 1lb-which i totally didn't deserve, but yay all the same

Well done Fish! It looks like you and Counttothree are the winners this week from those that have posted.

c4ro Unfortunately it's white breeches (veh flattering) and fitted jackets which finish on the "widest part of your hip".

bloof My argument with "cheap" mascara right now is that it frequently isn't that cheap. Maybelline can cost 16 euros here - given that you can pick up EXACTLY the same tube in the US for $3 it pisses me right off. If I'm going to spend $16 euros on a mascara I figure I may as well just throw in another tenner and get a posh one. But right now I'm on the yellow maybelline one, do like the Bad Girl Big lash one though.

Well done to all the losers, yah boo sucks to the gainers.

White breeches Pony OMG. No way. Bet the men don't have to wear white.

It brings to mind one of Jilly Cooper's books where the heroine's breeches split along the bum seam in the middle of the horse of the year show, and she wasn't wearing pants either. Nightmare scenario!

Am worried about Bloofer - is she still at the gym with her personal trainer?

Hello hello, so sorry that I haven't got the List up yet - I am labouring under a ferocious deadline and up working late

I was too late for the PT yesterday which was really embarrassing as he'd been looking for me and then by the time he found me I had to get going back to my desk . Meanwhile another PT had a chat with me and is giving me a boxing session tomorrow. PT 1 looked askance on this and is seeing me next week. I actually wish they would leave me to my own devices - they are only doing it because they think I might get money out of me and I am nervous at how to tell them to bugger off. Or indeed if they are going to bill me for what they are doing. Actually I don't think I can ever leave the house again can I?

AlpinePony Back when I did archery competitions there was also a colour code on the clothes- it was white and a very specific and difficult to find shade of green. I mostly ended up in white jeans, white polo shirt as it was only the colour not the style/ uniform of it that matttered. I wasn't large then though so didn't even notice the lack of flattery

BlooferLady Hope you beat the clock for the current project.
Be cheerful and breezy and just say to both the PTs "Thanks but I'm just going to plough through my routines for a few weeks to get really settled. I'll give you a shout when I'm getting bored and want to try some of the other options". Should be fine. Can you make it clear you see it as just taster sessions on the other options; not that you're signing up for a course or week-in, week-out fixed lessons. They will be very dense if they don't get the message. Bet they had a handbags-fight later about pinching each others potential clients!

Maybelline's owned by Nestle, FYI

Oh noes. Nestle have been feeding mascara to baybees?

I don't believe in boycotting Nestle - I also believe that people who do but freely use iphones and the like are massive fucking hypocrites jumping on a bandwagon...

I know what you mean Pony - I don't mind people boycotting Nestle if they take the same ethical approach to everything. Also I am too young to really 'get' the whole Nestle thing

C4ro I am going to print that off, laminate it, and keep it in my highly attractive white canvas gym brassiere.

The OM has just made me a perfectly d'lish SW lunch, with cous cous salad, greek salad, butterbean hummus and a piece of juniper smoked trout. YUMMO and a big fat thanks to Mr Lidl

juniper smoked trout ... from WIDL ...

'tis true. I had some gorgeous smoked tuna from them the other week. They do fancy-pants stuff in their "finest" range.

YES!

It is THE BEST place for things like cold cuts and whatnot on a budgie. You can get beautiful - I mean BEEYOOTIFUL - whole smoked mackerel for about £1.50. A don't even get me started on the smoked chorizo. I once did a whole entire dinner party from there and sort unveiled it to horrified Waitrose-shopping guests at the end, once they'd praised the slow-roast leg of lamb, the beetroot and walnut puree, the potato gratin, the orange curd meringue tart and the strong cheese .

......and NOW I'm hungry again.

500g bag of froz prawns for 5.49 (euros) - perfect for salads, less likely to impress guests but who cares? Considering prawns can be 4 euros a pack upwards for a "single portion" from the deli counter in a supermarket.

Hungry? Today I'm at the office for the first time in a fortnight - there's always chocolate here, but today approximately 4' from my desk is a glass jar about 18" high with the remnants of the easter bunnies in it. Literally a head full of jars - it looks quite sinister. Hasn't stopped me troughing though.

I've just started a food thread on fb, what's the strangest thing you've ever eaten? Me: cougar.

I'm laughing at a jar of severed bunny heads...

oh oh oh oh oh start an MN fred on the strangest thing you have ever eaten cos I will win I tell you! WIN!

I've rediscovered Swizzel's Rainbow Drops - sugar coated puffs of maize and rice. No nutritional info on pack but according to interweb they're 36calories a pack and no carbs. Can that be right? They're fab for when I fancy something sweet.

Good job I'd eaten my tea before I read all that! Would have dribbled on the keyboard. Sounds worth a trip to Lidl then. I get confused between them and Aldi- who are very pot-luck on quality of their stuff and its all bulk boxes of stuff that you never get all the way through.

I remember rainbow drops! Don't they dye your tongue quite fluorescent? I think also curly wurlys aren't too bad in basic calorie terms but they don't last long.

Beheaded bunnies sounds a little bit "Godfather"- where on earth do you work that they have that sense of humour in the office? I got back to the office to find someone has nicked my Easter Egg present from HR this year. I am not too distressed as I really don't need the extra chocolate but I have worked out that it is in the cupboard behind our temporary project manager on the opposite desk from me (he is not permanent- it is my egg he has pinched!). Not sure if I should make a point to nick it back/ say something or just let him have it. Contractors can get treated a bit shit so I am leaning towards just ignoring it and let him have it. He is a pleasant sort (mostly) although he talks at me all day long over the divider which can be a tad irritating.

I've been boycotting Nestle since I was 17, its more an effort of stubborn will these days than actual ethical consumerism in action. I'll freely admit to being a hypocrite as i have a dependency on diet coke.

I'm 26.