Oooh don’t lose any more. You don’t want to lose any more. You’ve lost enough.

[MutherTrucker]

Fuck off fuck off.
Why do people do this?
Colleague yesterday unsolicited opinion on my weight loss.
I explained I was just aiming for a healthy BMI. It’s currently still in the overweight category.

Had to tell them to mind their own business in the end.
Why do people do this? Is it just that we look thinner if they’re used to is bigger? Is it genuine concern as colleague is a nice person.

Also think about how filler works. It pads out the face to smooth out the wrinkles.

Women Over 40 Look Younger If They Have Fatter Face (medindia.net)

We don’t only judge age on people’s facial appearance, we consider other factors such as; body size and shape, hair, clothes, personal style. One of the things about being overweight is that, depending on fat distribution, people’s shape can make them look older. Then they might dress to try to cover up what they see as flaws; this can also be ageing. And yes, I know some people who are fat and stylish, but lots more people lose confidence.

The flip side of this is that when people lose weight, their confidence soars. I know mine has and I have regained my interest in clothes and fashion. It’s also not uncommon for people to change hairstyle and have a bit of a glow up generally, so naturally, other people will notice the difference.

Weight loss doesn’t automatically mean looking older and often has the reverse impact.

I feel your pain OP! I really noticed this just this week. 2 colleagues in one day both said I looked great and asked how much weight I’d lost. I told them it’s 65 lb so far. Their reaction was along the lines of oh that’s amazing, well done etc. However, then came the “oh you don’t want to lose more do you?” “Surely you’re done now?!”
It really touched a nerve because I’m still very much overweight and a long way off a healthy BMI (not sure how achievable that is tbh), I’m a size 16 now and my weightloss has been slow and steady. Not sure why people are reacting to me as if it’s been drastic and sudden! Why would you want to discourage people from aiming for better?

I guess they are worried that you are ill or developing an eating disorder, you might feel better about it if you assume it's coming from a place of love and care for you.

My Mum did this to me the other day.

My BMI is still over 30 (I've lost 5 stone though, so I am very pleased).

I just told her no. I'm not ready to stop. The end.

I'd be fuming if a colleague made a comment that was anything other than complimentary. If you don't have anything nice to say...

i do think it was from a colleague meaning well. She’s generally a nice and kind person. But she just wouldn’t let it go, it was an uncomfortable conversation.

I think sometimes weight loss can look and feel frail (eg if you hug them), so it can result in someone blurting out a concerned comment.

I also think that historically we associate dieting with hunger and deprivation. Another reason for concerned comments. However, the point of the WLI is that those feelings are much less intense!

Once you've explained the positives and that your BMI is still unhealthy range -- I completely agree they should let it go!

I’m still overweight so I think frail is a reach 🤣

Still overweight after losing 25kg and people still telling me my face looks too thin, have been for past 10kg. I find it odd because for most of my life, I was a healthy weight and I’ve been overweight, then obese, for about a decade. Ok so you’re telling me my normal face without a huge double chin is ‘too thin’? Gee thanks.

LOSE!

Thanks for the contribution 🤦‍♀️

I'm 3 and a half stone down, still technically just into the overweight category and I'm getting it. People asking when I'm coming off the meds. I'm weaning but scared to come off them completely so will probably end up fibbing.

I’ve had this ! Lost 3 stone, I’ve had Botox and filler, my bmi is now 20 and in my 50’s I feel bloody brilliant !
I'm past caring what others think . I just say ‘my money, my body’.
And also amused that auto correct wanted to change bmi to bum !

I’m over 5 stone down now and I’m getting these comments. Still a size 16 and overweight BMI! I understand I look a lot different to people now, but telling me I’m getting ‘too thin’ or I shouldn’t ‘lose any more’ is crazy! I’m still a bit fat 😂

I'm BMI 25.3 and I'm getting this a lot, but i have very long slim legs and big boobs and the weather is still rubbish where i am so currently i do look very slim in jeans and a jumper, so people are surprised that I'm still loosing (with the intention of losing at least another stone and a half).

When the weather picks up a few degrees it will be a little more obvious in summer clothes that i still have a fair bit more to lose off my belly.

I got a lot of these comments when I was around BMI 27. I found them incredibly annoying, as my explanations that I was still overweight by BMI were met with worried looks and shaking heads. One woman even staged what felt like a bloody intervention for me at our work Christmas party!

It was actually a bit hurtful, truth be told. The response to my explanations that I still had a little way to go, suggested that people thought I was developing some kind of eating disorder and unable to tell that I was now 'too thin'. Disclaimer: I was not too thin. I left the conversations with a sense that these people didn't trust me, as an adult professional woman, to know what was best for me. It was very patronising.

Anyway, I kept losing weight quietly in the background and, now that my BMI is around 22, I get none of these comments anymore. I think people needed a bit of time to get used to the change.

I think often it is to do with concern. I've pretty much stopped losing weight now, which is fine with me. But this morning I yawned in bed and my partner worriedly said he could see my ribs. I had to explain to him that you were kind of supposed to see ribs when a person stretches. I do think people are so used to seeing slightly overweight BMIs that a weight firmly within the healthy range can appear a bit shocking.

Why does every comment a woman makes get chalked up to jealousy? 🙄

I have lost 3 stone now and I actually feel weird. I feel really small, less robust. Fragile almost. I still need to lose another 2 stone to be a healthy BMI but I don't want to lose that much. I already don't feel like I look like myself anymore, the person I see in the mirror isn't me. It's a very strange feeling and I'd like to lose my tummy but everywhere else stay the same as it is now, it doesn't work that way though and I'm worried about looking gaunt. I'm actually worried I will look ill 2 stone lighter. I am strong fit and active with a lot of muscle so I'm not small a frail at all but I feel that way.

If I see myself all day everyday and feel weird about the way I look now it's not beyond the realm of reason that people who see me once a week are going to be shocked at how different I look and be as uncomfortable as I am with it,.if not more!

I think that sounds like a mental health issue, I’d possibly seek therapy. That’s why more than body dysmorphia, or maybe very severe body dysmorphia. Three stone doesn’t make that much of a difference to our appearance, it’s not like 10 stone and you’re two stone over weight still so not small or fragile.

honestly I’d get some help, good luck.

At your BMI, it will still be obvious that you need to lose some weight, so as you say she is kind and also a healthy weight, I would think she is just trying to be nice and make you feel better about still being overweight.

There are definitely some people who don’t want others to look better than them though and say it for that reason.

Well done on the weight loss, you must feel great. Keep going!

I've never been on weight loss injections but I do struggle with my weight. I try not to talk about it as I know it's boring to other people, but every time I see my sister I get 'You've lost so much weight!!' or 'You look DANGEROUSLY thin to me!' (I yo-you between being nearly a size 18 and nearly able to squeeze into a 14, but have been a size 16 for many years now). I don't even remember when my BMI was in the 'healthy' category. It bothers me so, so much when she trots this out, which she does basically every time I see her.

3 stone makes a massive difference, it's 3 dress sizes, I had to replace all my clothes because they hung off me and looked awful and my face has completely changed shape. People tell me I look like my mother since losing weight and no ones ever told me that in my life because it's never been true before! I've always had my father's face shape, until losing 3 stone, and now I don't. I've gone from round to hour glass in my torso, my legs are half the thickness and my face has gone from round to heart shaped. Several people have told me I look completely different so I'm not imagining it. 3 stone may not be a lot of you need to lose then but it's almost 20% if my starting body weight, it's over 20% of my current body weight.

When I stand with my arms by my side there's gaps in between my arms and body that weren't there before because they used to be filled with fat. Of course the gaps are supposed to be there but I've never had them before so it feels weird to me. I'll get used to it over time, it's really not uncommon for previously fat people to feel weird in their slim bodies. You can often tell a slim person used to be fat from the way they stand and hold themselves, it takes years for your brain to catch up with your new body, just like it takes time for other people to stop thinking you're too thin when you're not, your just not fat anymore.

I’ve lost 5 stone and I know I look very different but there is not a possibility I look unwell, so it’s awful to be made to feel this way by people’s comments

I’m a size 10 now and no bones on show, visible muscles, I looked SO unhealthy when I was 5 stone heavier, I was out of breath, sweaty, swollen ankles. I did have a more youthful face, and bigger tits.

I accept looking DIFFERENT and if someone says this, I have no issue as it’s true…but that’s not what people say is it.. they say oh my you are looking gaunt basically! That’s not the same thing at all

I agree. It makes me feel very sad. I honestly have put a lot into being this size (in terms of both effort and finances) and its a real gut punch to be told this.

I know that objectively I am not too thin. I have visible collarbones but thats about it. My BMI is 22 and I could comfortably lose another 1.5 stone and be within the healthy range. But people's words matter - they shouldn't but they do.

I think sometimes people think they are being complimentary with these comments, in a bizarre kind of way. Like, our society prizes thinness to such an extent that "you're wasting away" is seen as a kind thing to say. But it's hurtful. I have no plans to lose more as I am happy where I am, but it makes me feel like all that effort was wasted and society will never be happy with my appearance.

So, I've basically decided fuck it. I'm healthy and those I trust tell me I look good. I think i look good. So I won't be held hostage by the body image hang ups of other people.

Feeling quite low today as my husband of 25 years told me I'd lost too much weight and looked gaunt. He said I'd never been very overweight and I've taken it too far now. For context I've been on Mounjaro for 18 months. Gone from 16st 1 to 9st 12. Now at maintenance. I've changed my diet and exercise regularly. He's never commented on my weight in all the time we've been together.

At nearly ten stone it is vanishingly unlikely you look guant. So there is more behind this, think of what it is.

does he prefer larger women?
does he think you look more attractive and is now worried other men will fancy you?
does he feel left behind, like he sees the new and improved you and feels threatened or jealous.

it won’t be the change in appearance, as he sees you daily. So he has proactively decided to attack and put you down. The question you need to answer is why,