Oooh don’t lose any more. You don’t want to lose any more. You’ve lost enough.

[MutherTrucker]

Fuck off fuck off.
Why do people do this?
Colleague yesterday unsolicited opinion on my weight loss.
I explained I was just aiming for a healthy BMI. It’s currently still in the overweight category.

Had to tell them to mind their own business in the end.
Why do people do this? Is it just that we look thinner if they’re used to is bigger? Is it genuine concern as colleague is a nice person.

Oops, my bad. It's posted in the WLI section, and WLI are often associated with rapid loss, but of course not always. OP doesn't actually say that her weight loss was fast (or that it wasn't).

I think the point still holds about any really noticeable weight loss, though - even if it's not that rapid.

loose so much weight it’s get to a point where it ages them

going under weight can be ageing

What I said is basically the same as what you then replied with, I didn’t say everyone who looses weight looks older than they did before, I said ‘loose so much’ as in too much

Hardly anyone would be losing weight to the point of being underweight though. Who are these people that you are referring to?

"When some women over a certain age loose a lot of weight it can make them look older than they actually are. "

Alternatively, they looked younger when the fat was padding out their wrinkles and now they look their age. It can still be shocking for others, of course.

I don't think the 'looking older' is the only reason for this though as it happens to younger people too. I think in some cases it is jealousy, but in others it's genuine concern by being a bit shocked by the change.

I don’t get this, I see it quite often on here and I’ve never looked at a fat person and thought wow they look really young, genuinely never, and I include myself in that,

and I think that’s because no one is a floating head, generally a fat face for me doesn’t look youthful, it looks, well fat. Double chins, jowls. And it’s atop a fat body, which also doesn’t look youthful , a matronly bust and big belly is not youthful.

so genuinely I don’t get what others are seeing, for me the most youthful looking are a healthy weight. Ageing is when you’re over or under weight and the farther you go onto over or under the more ageing it is,

the op isn’t underweight, so she should look significantly younger than she did when she was fat.

I find that slim folk generally never talk about or comment on weight. Well, except my mother, about my weight, ha ha…

I’ve lost it slowly, it’s taken over 18 months but I seem to have hit some sort of ‘magic’ point where suddenly people are saying omg you’ve lost so much weight. My bmi has gone from 36 to 27 so it is quite a big drop.
I feel so well, about ten years younger. I don’t look super aged I don’t think.

this person is a nice person, neither fat nor thin, so I don’t think it’s a bitchy thing. I don’t see her so often so I think maybe it’s genuinely just the shock of seeing someone who has always looked one way suddenly (ish) look another way. She seemed really surprised when I said I’m not yet at a healthy bmi. I think pp who said we are used to higher bmi as the norm are quite right.

i did have a skinny friend who is about two stone lighter than me with the sand frame sag the same, and that annoyed me as she is clearly a lot thinner than me and not worried about herself wasting away. Hmmm.

I think maybe the skinny friend relies on being the skinny friend for confidence perhaps. And we come in with our new skinny and upset their status quo.

I agree totally. I actually find it hard to put an age on overweight people, I find it quite ageing. I am 46 but see women in their early 30s who are overweight and assume they are middle aged, similar as me.

I have lost 3.5stone, BMI 28 to BMI 21 and definitely look more youthful. I abiut 2 months in my neck looked wrinkly but it now looks fine and better than it did when I was fat. I am a really small frame so BMI 28 looked pretty big on me, I dont carry it well and my face looked so bloated. I have had many comments from people who I havent seen for years, was at a birthday party and they said I looked younger than when they last saw me 5 years or so ago. I was pretty happy. I have also alongside WLI been drinking more water and taking all sorts od supplements, so maybe thats helping too.

I get this a lot and I'm at the point where it really hacks me off. I was over 16 stone, BMI 33. I'm now just under 12 stone, BMI 24.
I get all the scowls and "you've lost too much, you need to put some weight back on", "you've gone too far" etc
I've even had friends say other friends had been in touch with them to discuss their concerns about me. Really??? Mind your own business! I could lose another 2&1/2 stone and still be a healthy BMI (I don't intend to, I'm around goal).
I rarely get positive comments.
When I tell people my BMI is just into the normal range I get "that BMI stuff is nonsense".
I look at photos and see that a year ago I had a head like a pumpkin, it's now a normal size. Trousers were 40" waist, now 32", shirts size M, not XXL, - just normal size in my opinion, not skinny. More importantly, a year ago my blood pressure was 150/96. This morning it was 120/75, where it regularly now is. Without any medication, age 63. I say this to the people making comments and they aren't interested. So they can stick their opinions.

I think what you mean to say is being overweight can make women appear younger than they are because the fat on their face can cause a plumpness that can be misconstrued for being younger. Ultimately, losing weight might just make them look their age, with so many people overweight now maybe we’re losing site of what old is

Anyway, unless someone is going under a BMI of 19, they will not be “losing too much weight”. And I’m sure most women would pick slim and healthy with a few more wrinkles than fat, health risks and hard to age.

I suspect so. A woman I’ve known since high school and who has been overweight since a child has recently lost weight and I really found myself internally feeling quite resentful, she was always bigger than me, it really did cause a stir of emotion! Internally, I’m self aware enough to know it’s a ME problem. God society has done a number on women.

Oh I hate that OP, you have my sympathy.

My mum does this. I’ve still overweight and need to lose 1.5 stone to get to “healthy” although I don’t really want to go that low as I look ill at my healthy weight. She liked me being fat because she felt she had a fat ally and she’d moan at me about needing to lose weight (despite her being 5’ and a size 24 and me being 5’6” and a size 18.

She can’t do that now so she tells me to stop. She also likes to blame every cough and sniffle on taking this medication because she can’t take it herself and telling me how dangerous it is. I can’t win.

It's definitely a thing. First happened to me at BMI 28!

That said, I think there are a variety of reasons, not least because I've had this said by a parent who I know loves me and cares deeply for my welfare. For some people it's very obviously about you changing your position relative to them, in the contest they'd entered you in without your permission. But I do also think there's probably something to the idea that some of us are hard wired to panic a bit at people looking thinner. We evolved for a world where starvation was a constant possibility. I can see how the thing that made a lot of us obese in the first place also colours perceptions to weight loss.

I cried this week as I had a group of people at work saying exactly the same, I've lost a few stone but BMI is only 2lb away from obese so still a bit to go.
Why is it ok to comment on someone else's body in this way and say they'll look awful if they lose more

I bet you very much don’t look awful at all @Mycatismad - that’s the problem. You are improving your health and looking good on it. The green eyed monsters will have to get over it.

Not on WLI, but on VLCD, and my MIL and DM have both told me that I have "lost too much" with my DM going as far as to say I have an eating disorder.

My BMI is currently around 27 and she told me that BMI didn't mean anything. Ok, fair enough, but her BMI is currently around 61!!!! And I have the eating disorder?

Firstly, I don't. Secondly, if I did, why say it with vitriol instead of compassion and concern. Finally, what a disservice to those who truly struggle with eating disorders!

From my own mother!!

I don't get it, either, OP!

@Mycatismad I am sorry that happened to you. Those people are bastards for saying that. You won’t look awful if you lose more weight. People are so bloody weird about weight, it brings out all their own issues sometimes.

I cannot count how many times I’ve heard this. I lost 5 stone and it really was draining

What about if you have a phobia of needles, how would you go about weigh loss injections?

“You’re fading away” 🙄
Yes, I’ve lost 30kg but I’m still obese so fuck off!

Well, if it’s a very bad phobia I guess you don’t. Some people I know of on threads here get their partner or a family member to do the actual injection. I guess you’d need to be happy that they were able to read and follow the instructions properly before letting them.

In the next year or so there will also be a couple of tablet GLP1 medications becoming available, so those could be an option too.

"I don’t get this, I see it quite often on here and I’ve never looked at a fat person and thought wow they look really young, genuinely never, and I include myself in that,"

That's not how it works.
It's knowing someone you think is 45 and then being told they're 60.
It doesn't work for a 20 year old, but old people can look middle aged when their wrinkles are hidden by the fat pads in their face.

They really can’t, I’ve never ever witnessed such a thing,

"I’ve never ever witnessed such a thing"

How do you know you've never witnessed such a thing? You may have passed someone in the street you thought was 45, but they were actually 60, but you didn't stop to ask them.