Lost all this weight and feel I look bigger than ever. Photo included

[MissAdvantage]

I know I probably need to get outside of my head and I also know that precisely nobody is giving me a second glance but my husband took this photo of me earlier on holiday and I recoiled a bit.

I’ve lost over 5 and a half stone and I’ve maintained at this weight ever since. I’m 9 and a half stone

maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen a photo of myself in a swimming costume but I was really quite shocked at how flabby I look. I can’t expect miracles as I’m in my 50s but ugh - I think I expected 9 and a half stone to somehow look slim? I look fine fully clothed. I’m a size 10. I just wanted to look better!

anyone else struggling a bit with a newer body and still seeing a lot of faults or just me?

You look like a slim woman in her 50s. You don’t have the body of a 20 year old supermodel that’s true but you look great; slim, fit and in proportion. You can join a gym if you want to tone up.

Well done on your weight loss!

You look fab. But, and this is simply for you to feel as great as you deserve to, treat yourself to the very best, nicest flattering swim suit you can, one that lifts and shapes you - they are worth every penny.

Yes, as said it doesn’t mean you look bad, but I think this is the issue you are seeing, it’s muscle loss or lack of muscle, and you fundamentally will look a million times better than before you lost the weight,

i cant stress how important muscle is at our age, and for anyone reading it is critical to protect during the weight loss phase.

so I’d recommend getting into strength training, it will improve your posture, the definition on your limbs, and stomach.

it’s critical for our health, but if you wish to improve appearance when naked or in swimwear, then building muscle is the way to do it.

for women it is incredibly hard to bulk up, what it gives us is that long lean look.

so id focus on protein intake, as you need to build take 1.5g per kg of body weight min, start strength training, either book a pt at the gym to show you or use an online tutorial like Caroline girvan, lift heavy lower reps is for strength, lower weight, higher reps is for stamina/endurance, so aim for mid range.

if you do this, you will look incredibly different by your holiday next year.

good luck, it’s work but worth it.

OP - you look absolutely lovely!
But I have a question for you... what is happening in this photo - what is on your left hand? Are you holding a falcon?!

You look slim to me and I’m a size 10. Just maybe try some body recomposition, start working out and you’ll look firmer and defined

This sounds like a really great plan. I have found as I get older, generally things are a bit less taut 😬 - strength training has been so helpful in that respect. Muscle replacing fat and toning everything has really helped with skin - and flesh - looking less saggy. I’m a couple of years younger than you, but I suspect you’ll be surprised what a difference it makes if you do it a couple of times a week. It also makes you feel good to be getting stronger and improving your body as you get older. And, try not to focus on the photo - you look great and there are few people that like photos of themselves (my family promise I don’t look like a gargoyle and no one recoils when they see me in the street, but that’s how I feel whenever I see a photo of myself 🫣 - I think it’s largely in our heads!).
Well done on the weight loss and keeping it off!
eta: just to say that when you start strength training and building muscle you might slightly increase your weight as muscle weighs more than fat so try not to judge things on the scales so much as how your body feels and your clothes fit.

You look great!

@breastcancerpanic. Ha yes! I’m in a country where falcons are their national symbol and they’re just obsessed with them! A gentleman comes into the hotel each day with his falcon called Julie!

they are super proud of their heritage and they ta really nice to see. Add in Ramadan and the evening iftar and it’s all going on! PS hope your user name is over now and you’re doing well!

You look fab - the arms is quite common really - I have the same problem with my arms and then I think I look wider which pisses me off

I think you’re being really hard on yourself - your legs are great - congrats!

@Pineapplesunshine yeah I understand that you can change your entire body ‘look’ so I must commit to doing it.

having some height also helps with how you look too doesn’t it? I’m short at 5 ft 3 so for me, it’s easy to look dumpy

I could consider going down another half a stone but I don’t actually think I want to. Just a merry go round of chasing weight loss and I’m done now and like to just maintain

Muscle building is definitely the way to go, think of it as the scaffolding underneath the skin. If you struggle to motivate yourself, I would work with a trainer for a while. They'll help you work on good form too which is really useful. If you're new to lifting, you'll see pretty fast gains and should be able to continue to lose fat simultaneously provided you're not in too much of a calorie deficit and your diet is appropriate.

What height are you? I’d suggest getting into lifting and doing a body recomp (keep weight same but increase muscle and lose fat)

You look great. You should be so proud of yourself!! You look slim.

I’ve discovered that when losing weight I never actually look like I think I will… when I was 10.5st I thought at 8.5st I’d look like Kate Moss but then I didn’t. We have to remember that the majority of models and celebs etc aren’t actually a normal weight… they’re often underweight or see a PT 8 times a week for hours and hours.

I figured out that to get to what I thought I’d look like at 8.5st I’d actually need to be closer to 7.5st and that’s a weight I haven’t been since 14 and would be unsustainable.

You look healthy and slim.

You look absolutely fantastic @MissAdvantage!!!

You are definitely focussing on your "faults" as you see them, but you really look great. If you're self concious about anything then weight training would be a great focus just given youve lost so much weight, but honestly - I'm 33 and would love to have your figure

I absolutely love that way of thinking of it, scaffolding! I thought my loose skin was forever but muscle has definitely propped everything up!

Presuming you were caught off guard your stomach is practically flat?! The angle isn't very flattering which maybe makes your arms look a bit bigger. But I think you look good. Much better than many other people do in a swimsuit!

I think when we lose a lot of weight in our fifties, we expect to look like we did at that weight in our teens and twenties. I lost four stone on Mounjaro and I liked myself dressed but not undressed. I’ve got used to it now, I can’t expect to be as toned as I was at 18. I’m 18 months post weight loss now and have done lots of walking these last couple of years and look better than I did last year.

you look great 😊

It's a good way of thinking about it especially for women as they're often concerned that they'll look bulky if they start resistance training. I have OP's wide ribcage (which is beneficial for athletic performance) but I'd look a bit like SpongeBob without my muscle mass.

You look wonderful! I wish I looked like you!

You look great and have done so well! Weights are what you need to give you the definition you're looking for, I think after a couple of months of weight training, you'll love your new body!

Are you really going to let one random photo undermine all your hard work? Doesn’t that seem a bit of an over reaction?

Start on Lucy Wyndham Read arm exercises this afternoon if you want to tone up.

You look fabulous and slim, well done on the weight loss.

Ive lost more than 4 and a half stone and my body is similar in that I feel I look much better with clothes on🫣

I have loose skin, I’m the wrong side of 50 and I’ve never had a naturally toned figure. I have been strength training for a year and that is helping massively. When I look at photos I took a couple of months in to my weight loss, I can see how much more defined my shoulders and back are so looking honestly at before and after photos may help.

It’s hard to reframe our thinking about our body following weight loss and I think in my mind I maybe expected the clock to turn back 20 years as well which is clearly not happening😂

You look slim @MissAdvantage and I wouldn't think anything else if I saw you.

However I know exactly what you mean as I am the same about myself.

What i would say is that the swimsuit is not a flattering cut, something with cups is always better, or maybe a tankini style if not comfortable in a bikini as it will give you more of a shape. There are some amazing one pieces though that are scrunched in at the waist and give really good coverage. I have a bug bust so can only buy 2 piece/or suits with cups.

In the past when I lost weight I found I was smaller size wise but still essentially looked much the same in a tight dress or in bikini/underwear until I started weight training. Weight training will completely change your shape, I lost inches off my waist without losing weight (in fact was 4lb heavier) and my arms had a proper shape.

What are you talking about? Where has she said she was going to let it undermine. I honestly think it’s your post which is the over reaction,