Lost all this weight and feel I look bigger than ever. Photo included

[MissAdvantage]

I know I probably need to get outside of my head and I also know that precisely nobody is giving me a second glance but my husband took this photo of me earlier on holiday and I recoiled a bit.

I’ve lost over 5 and a half stone and I’ve maintained at this weight ever since. I’m 9 and a half stone

maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen a photo of myself in a swimming costume but I was really quite shocked at how flabby I look. I can’t expect miracles as I’m in my 50s but ugh - I think I expected 9 and a half stone to somehow look slim? I look fine fully clothed. I’m a size 10. I just wanted to look better!

anyone else struggling a bit with a newer body and still seeing a lot of faults or just me?

You look great. I think you are analysing yourself too much. In your 50s nobody is going to have the perfect shaped body. If you got a more shaped swimsuit that would help and you could tone up your upper arms a bit.

Your bottom? Where is it? I can’t see it. Give over MissAdvantage. Skip with joy round that pool. You look amazing.

You look great but yes, weight resistance training is essential for middle aged women because bone density and muscle density drops significantly through menopause.

I started doing 10 push ups (from my knees) and 10 sit ups a day everyday, adding on an extra rep each day, building up to 100. It only takes a few minutes (at the start) and really made a difference to my stomach and upper arms; though now I also go to the gym.

I’m older than you and I am finding that lifting (heavy for me) weights is making a huge improvement. I hail from a long line of ‘apples’ and also have a wide rib cage, so my upper body has never looked svelte. I started lifting weights at the same time I started MJ (June 2025) and I now have ‘Michelle Obama arms’ and a waist that is smaller and flatter than my pre-kids body - even though I weigh more now. In addition to the health benefits, lifting heavy weights is a complete game changer for body recomposition. Go for it!

Most people aren't happy with how they look in a swimming costume but you do look great. More importantly, you have done wonders for your health and will do much better in old age now you have lost all that weight. Weight training would help you look more toned and improve your quality of life as you age so why don't you give that a go. You won't bulk up to be huge but muscle helps support the looser skin you get with weightloss. Get your husband to take a photo of you in your clothes that you like and look at that in the future to help you feel more positive.

Op, I mean this gently

you lack muscle tone, it is very apparent in the image, if you want your body to look toned, which I suspect that’s really what this is about, then you need to put the work in.

I would say you’ve lost a lot of muscle in your weight loss journey, haven’t been doing your weight training and haven’t been consuming protein, which is why you look like you lack muscle.

this doesn’t mean you look bad, and I’d assume you look a lot better than before, but you do look effectively unfit.

muscle is active, fat is inactive, so muscle burns cals, even when at rest, meaning your bmr is higher, unless staying on the meds you will struggle to eat low enough to not gain if you have lost a lot of muscle.

muscle is also critical as we age, for core stability, our ability to get out a chair without help etc.

i genuinely would recommend you start body recomp and building muscle back up, not for aappearance but for health.

@MissAdvantage i think you look amazing! I am 5 1/2 st down but still have a couple left to shift so no photos of me in swimming costume yet!!

I like photos of myself in clothes and can see the difference, but when i look in the mirror it’s like I’m just as big as I used to be.

whilst I 100% know this isn’t the case it’s hard to believe!

If it helps I'm a similar age & if I look as good as you when I get to target I’m going to be over the moon!

For reassurance I think you’re very normal thinking like this!!

maybe try & imagine this isn’t you but a friend saying they look flabby look with neutral eyes, what would you say to your friend?

then try & give yourself the same kindness

Seriously if i looked like you I’d be made up! You look fabulous. I think it’s all in your head you look amazing!

You look fine. All of you looks to be in proportion. That is always good.
Have you thought of having one of these photo shoots with professionals to do your hair and make up?
You would look Red Carpet standard.

You look great. Obviously we don’t know your height, but you look like a size 10 woman in her fifties. Congratulations on the weight loss, you have done so much to prevent future health issues.

My only concern would be how sunburnt you are!

OP, you look fantastic. I recommend Pilates for a bit of toning up (and it helps keep you supple) and, like a pp, push ups and planking for core strength.

But those for health and balance, you don't need to worry about your shape at all.

Honestly you look great. Well done on the weight loss.

You know that when you see photos of people on insta etc that it’s all posed and filtered? This is a candid snap, I bet if you posed differently you’d look a whole lot better. Even just straightening up your posture and rolling your shoulders back would make a huge difference. A different swimsuit would also help.

Weight training to tone up would be the best thing to help with actual body shape.

Swimsuits and bright sunlight are never the most flattering combo! 😅

Honestly I think you look great for 54 though! Maybe just focus on toning up/strength training now and you'll see a bit of difference but your legs and stomach look amazing!

You do look great! I think building some muscle mass would do wonders for your body now and also just to work on your posture a bit. I think if you had stood up more straight with your shoulders back in that photo you would look completely different.

@Harrietsaunt ah that could be the lighting of the photo! I don’t have the merest hint of a tan in real life so no sunburn I promise!

@Brightlittlecanary you are right. It’s the typical look of someone with that muscle mass loss isn’t it? I must resolve to lift some weights. As in actually do it as opposed to telling myself I will.

And I have no excuses as I’m both a member of a gym and I own weights at home. I need a shift in mindset so thank you

I think you look fantastic! I think you just assumed that you would look more toned, but toning comes from muscle mass.

I do both weight training and pilates. I would not bother with pilates as a PP suggested as it is mainly core work, which makes your core bigger, and doesn’t tone other parts of the body. But general weight training has transformed my relationship with my body. I am tighter and now actually work on being bigger as that means I am stronger, I was much less happy with my body when I was smaller

Thanks so much for all your words. I’m actually strutting round the pool now!!! Well sort of.

I have a plan to lift some weights , I’m standing up a bit taller and meh - who cares about the loose skin? Progression over perfection right?!

You look fantastic

Congrats on the weight loss. You look great to me.
I think the mind plays tricks on us and it can be hard to fully adjust to what your body looks post weight loss.
I've lost 6 stones. I'm a size 12 and not quite at goal but obviously look a lot better than I did before. Some days I feel quite slim, others I feel really fat. No real reason.
Like you, I want to do more strength training this year. I'm older than you but very inspired by a lady on IG - train with Joan - she's in her 70s and lifting and really shows how you can do it at any age.

You look slim - strut away!
Get a new swimsuit - that one isn't supportive enough, it's just not flattering. I spray tan before holidays - will make your skin look better, more glowing, and definitely make loose or dimpled skin look better.
And yes, make 2026 the year you work on muscle strength (I'll be joining you there!)
Enjoy your holiday!

I think you look great. Get a bit of fake tan on - will make you feel fantastic when you see photos!

You look great!

The camera is a bitch though, we hold ourselves different when we look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror I think my face looks great, when I see it on camera I'm like where did this bloated mess come from?!

First of all, well done on your weight loss!

You've answered your own question - get to the gym!

I am now evangelical about lifting weights for toning your body fast. You don't need to lift like Geoff Capes but just heavy enough to challenge your body.

You look fab lovely, problem is you were probably expecting to look the same as at 27 if same weight and it’s rare person that does unless they never put weight on and trained-