If you have lost a lot of weight, do you prefer.....

[CharlotteRumpling]

(a) people to compliment you by saying wow, you have lost a lot of weight,
(b) people to compliment you by saying "you look well".
(c) people to say nothing at all.

I am not on WLI myself.

I met an acquaintance yesterday after some months, and she was about half her size. I went with option C as I was too cowardly to say anything, but she did look great. May not have been WLI, but I think it is, as the difference is quite marked. If she was a close friend, I might have gone with B.

Can’t stand you look well. I have lost a lot of weight, it’s very visible, I’m happy for people to comment, although I do feel it’s best to say you look great fantastic. Rather than rhe well thing.

so if you don’t know the person well enough to know if they lost in on purpose, still to you look great if it’s true. If you don’t think so say nothing.

if you know they were trying to lose it, then say it but also tell them they look great again if it’s true.

I like A.

Mmmm depends? It really irked me when MIL commented on me losing lots of weight. It was definitely in a complimenting way but made me question what she had then thought of me previously since I looked so good now after losing the weight. But then when a good friend commented I just felt very pleased? So clearly hypocritical here 😂

C

(C) please! But I get A and B instead. If I wanted to talk about it I would raise it myself.

I prefer to say nothing, unless the person talks about it. For all I know they may have been really ill, so if rather keep quiet

C - nothing at all. I don't want to br congratulated or complimented on my weight loss. And I don't want it mentioned. I've lost 5.5 stone. Recently someone who hadn't seen me for a while said "what's happened, there's only half of you!" I replied with "sorry" 😬😁 Because I just didn't know what to say! Most people I know haven't commented on it and I prefer it that way.

I prefer C. Too many mates having passed away from serious diseases that caused weight loss. Nothing worse than complimenting that, or using the 'looking well' euphemism.

That's what I think. I do have a close friend who has told me she's on WLI and sent me pix, so I have responded enthusiastically.

I prefer B but i do get a lot of Cs!!!

I prefer A if I know them well otherwise nothing. I’ve lost 3.5 stone now and two people have mentioned it at work which was enough for me! Close friends however are welcome to ask me

I agree with this - it depends.

I've lost about a stone and a half and it does show. But I have a general dislike of people commenting on my body - I'd really rather they didn't look at me!

But, a close friend noticing, if they know you've been trying? Fine.

Random work person? Maybe not. This partly stems from many years ago when I lost a lot of weight due to being ill and got pissed off with people commenting on it, ranging from "you look well" to "You've lost too much weight, you should stop now" 🙄
It was, frankly, none of their business!

People in my walking group have commented, but as we're there to do something healthy, and I've known them all for many years, that seems OK.

But a friend's wife a week or so ago seemed to take exception and started berating me for being boring and not "treating myself", whatever that means (I'm still technically overweight by the way, I'm not wasting away!). Probably because we were out and I wasn't drinking. But she went on and on, it was quite annoying.

I think "you look well" makes it sounds like you've put on weight!

My cousin told her mum (my aunt) to stop telling people they were fat. I was confused when I saw her a few years ago and she told me I looked "very comfortable" 😖

I'm an A. Even with the WLI, I've worked bloody hard for this weight loss and I want it acknowledged! It's not exactly a secret that I was/am obese, so pretending there is no change would be strange.

I wanted A throughout my loss and for a short while after, but then I wanted it just accepted that this was who I am now and to stop going on about the loss.
For other people I try and judge it individually, most people love the compliment and acknowledgement of A.

I don’t really mind. I’m very pleased with my weight loss and I do look fabulous whether or not people comment 😆. But it must be a bit disconcerting for people who haven’t seen me during the process, so I’m not touchy about how they react. On the other hand if they go on gibbering about me ‘disappearing’ or some other nonsense I start to feel a bit eye-rolly. Even so it’s just their own issues coming out, of course. After all a lot of people do have deep issues around food and weight.

Personally more than happy to have it mentioned I have lost a small person's worth of weight. I worked really hard. I have positively improved my health and I feel younger and fitted than I did ten years ago.

It's an A from me!

I’ve had the odd comments and they made me feel uncomfortable. I’d rather people didn’t say anything just like when they didn’t comment when I was fat.

That’s my view as well, only if you know they are trying to lose though, you dint say it to acquaintances where you don’t know.

i took a long time to adjust to my new appearance, an 18 to an 8 and I look very different indeed, not just my body, but my face and also how I dressed. So if I took time, and I see myself daily, then it’s fair enough everyone else does. So I’d rather it was addressed, rather than it becomes the elephant in the room. People who don’t know me well enough to know I’m on the meds and was trying to lose it, then I don’t want to hear it, you don’t know me, so no comments please.

most people losing weight love the compliment, when it’s well meant and from people who know you were or are trying.

but I do think comment once, then let it go. Don’t go on about it. Or stare, my sil stares and I abhorr it. I can see her eyes roaming my face,my body and it puts my teeth on edge, I want to scream I can fucking see you doing it. She’s never once commented on it, she’s very obese, never paid a compliment, and I can see when making polite conversation her eyes roaming all over me for an extended period. Don’t do that. We can see you doing it.

All the As please!

I’ve worked very hard for it, I want it acknowledged and congratulated.

edited: but as your thread shows some people really hate it so it’s best to say nothing more than “you’re looking fantastic”

some asked me directly “are you on the injection”.

Another collages continuously states I can’t believe how much weight you’ve lost or you’ve lost so much weight and it is unbearable.

I hate the statement “you’ve lost loads of weight”. What should I say- thank you? It’s not compliment though. It’s like saying you were once fat.

You’re looking well is better at least I can say thanks.

nothing is my preferred option.

looking well is second. But you look lovely is my favourite.

C please. I’ve found it very easy shifting the weight, 7 stone of it to be precise. I’ve exercised throughout but I’ve always exercised so it’s not as though I’ve busted a gut to get here.
But my body is not for public discussion now it’s smaller in the same way as it wasn’t when I was bigger so comments about my body are not welcome. I’d prefer people to not look at me at all if possible!

I'm happy for it to be mentioned! It's been a hard slog over the last year. I loved eating rich, tasty food and it made me happy! Well, I know it was killing me slowly and that's why I made the decision to change. I feel better and I know I look better. Quite happy for someone to mention it

D - That dress/top/jeans looks great on you, where are they from?

A compliment that doesn’t refer directly to weight loss or their body, and asks a question where they can skip any awkward thank yous or feel they need to explain anything.