People noticing ?

[StrongLikeMamma]

I’ve almost 12lbs. This is amazing to me as have been 3 stone over a healthy bmi for a few years now.

I’m losing with jabs and am only on week 4. I don’t want to discuss it with anyone. But am guessing people will ask me. I just feel really defensive about sharing this information. Not sure how to handle it, if the question comes up.

Does anyone have any helpful thoughts/ advice please?

Hi OP, I ALWAYS assume WLI when I see people who’ve been big all their lives losing weight. Having said this, I truly don’t care. We focus on our issues, you would be in their thoughts for 2 minutes no more. So go ahead and jab yourself:-))

Anyone who judges you is not really your friend. You're taking ownership of your health and doing something great for yourself to improve your quality of life.

I've lost about 3.5 stone this year on MJ. I don't know if anyone noticed but no one commented until at least 2.5 stone in, and no one has asked me outright if I'm on the jabs. I've told a couple of close friends and if anyone has any negative feelings about it, I have not been made aware.

My thread is about my worrying about what to say when people comment and feeling defensive.

I understand other people don’t feel the same. And am interested to know how other people, further along the “journey “ have dealt with it.

Oh am jabbing!! 🙌
I am also now assuming too.

Unless people are saying anything negative, you don't need to feel defensive though? If people ask how you are doing it, you can just say you're eating better. It's not a lie. If they ask you outright, it's up to you if you tell them. You're not in a courtroom.

"I just feel very private about my weight. And am not relishing the idea of people thinking they can talk to me about it - just because I’m losing some. Is that weird"

No, it's not weird at all. It's pretty much exactly how I feel. I have never talked to my friends about my weight or dieting or anything like that, and I don't initiate conversations with them about their size/weight/diet. I have been obese for years and years, and no one has said a peep. Even when I was very clearly into the morbidly obese category. Of course the change from morbidly obese to being almost a healthy weight is a big difference, and people seem to feel the need to acknowledge it. I can understand that, I suppose. But anyone who actually knows me well long term will understand that I don't usually talk about these things, and they won't start doing it now.

So follow that logic op

know they will assume wli
and they will be correct
so if you fib, it’ll be for fibbing that you are judged

I think it depends really. No one mentions we are fat. I mean it is really not the done thing and would be considered incredibly rude, so I am not sure I’m with you on well they didn’t say I was fat. I’m not sure who does that really.

weighr loss is to be celebrated, it is reclaiming our health. However if you don’t wish to discuss it with friends or family instead of lying to people you love or care about, I’d simply say I don’t wish to discuss it. As that’s the truth,

I think not wishing to discuss it, and then proceeding to discuss it but lying, and to people you call friends and family I feel is a bit odd but folks do it. I see a lot of well it’s my personal medical information, but I see that in shades of grey, so for example if someone had high blood pressure I’d not proclaims mine is healthy if for example I was on medication to make it healthy. I feel medical information is a spectrum, from popping a nurofen, to having your piles treated.

as said, for me personally I feel if you don’t wish to discuss it, say that. But don’t lie and then proceed to discuss it proclaiming you’ve suddenly found willpower ti eat less. But again personal choice.

they think 2 and a half million folks on them now in the uk. And for me it is nothing shameful or to be hidden, it’s a wonderful advance in medicine and I’m proud I researched it, made the decision for my health, and work so I can personally affford it, as well as put the effort in with diet and exercise to achieve the results I did.

Yes I agree with PP. I would rather be judged harshly (by ignorant idiots) for taking the medication than for being deceitful.

I’m surprised by this, for me, of course no one said anything about you being obese, would you really have engaged if someone said, wow you’re really fat, how did that happen then? I just don’t think people do that.

I actually don't know anyone who has been obese, who has recently lost weight. I am always surprised when people seem to know loads of people where this is the case.

I wouldn't make any assumptions about how someone might have lost weight, and neither would I ask or discuss it unless they initiated a conversation. Mainly because it's not important for me to know or something that anyone needs to share with me if they don't want to.

@Brightlittlecanary I don't understand what you're surprised about? I am not complaining about people not mentioning that I was obese. Believe me, I was grateful that they didn't. I didn't want them to! Just as I don't want anyone to talk about my weight or size now. That's my point.

I’ve lost almost 3.5 stones and hardly anyone has noticed (or they’ve just not said anything). I’ve just said I’ve cut out sugar and processed food, because I have, and I’m doing the diabetes prevention course, which I am. Only one person has asked whether I’m doing “those stupid injections”. Which made me laugh inwardly because she is pumped full of lip fillers and Botox plus has fake boobs. I still didn’t tell her. It’s my life, my decision.

Congratulations @StrongLikeMamma - you’ve done really well and should enjoy it! No one else’s opinion matters.

To hopefully put your mind at ease, a colleague lost loads on WLI and “just owned it”. We all thought she looked AMAZING and were very much “good on her” even though we’d not registered her as overweight - it was only after she’d lost it we realised there was something different and she said “yup, WLI, they’ve changed my life”.

She’s rightfully proud of losing the weight and has inspired others to get WLI. It’s not a magic fix - I think people assume you can still tuck into junk food and cream cakes!

Personally I’ve noticed that people who judge either don’t need WLI having always been slim, need them but daren’t take them, or aren’t quite overweight enough to get them but want what they assume is an easy fix.

Please just enjoy the hundreds of benefits of being a healthy weight and fuck everyone else and their judgy-ness.

I’ve decided if anyone asks I’m telling them the truth as magically finding will power when I’ve been so overweight for 40 years they wouldn’t believe me if I didn’t tell the truth and I would rather they judge me for taking jabs than for being a liar.
I don’t understand the judging. We take tablets for headaches, hrt for our hormones so I don’t see jabs as any different to that but I do have a group of friends who are very judgy about them. None of them has mentioned my weight loss or asked and I’m 6 stone lighter than I used to be.

People are strange.

It's so rude of people to bring up anyone else's weight in any context. They must be really very rude to ask if you're on WLI! It's like asking if you're on the pill or whether you're taking antidepressants.

Think it was the way you and the op phrased it, which was like they didn’t mention when I was fat so not going to discuss it when I get slim. And I was just saying no one ever mentions when someone gets fat.x

Yes, the same thing should apply when you've lost weight as to when you put it on.

Most people with some basic social skills understand that saying to someone something along the lines of "wow you’re really fat, how did that happen then?" is rude and pointless. It's not new information for the person who is fat, and neither is it a helpful opener for a discussion about health. Even if discussing the person's health is appropriate for the relationship you have with them! So, the same thing should go for being less fat. Not new information, not a suitable topic of conversation...

I have just told people. If you were trying to stop smoking no one would think you were cheating by using nicorette gum/patches would they? So I think this is the same imho.

Anyone who’s been struggling with their weight for years and been fat for years and suddenly finds the motivation to lose it this year...even if it’s slow and steady ... people are definitely going to assume you’re on the jabs. It’s naïve to think they won’t.

There are two people in my workplace who have lost a lot of weight rapidly recently, around the 4-5 stone mark in a matter of months.

Person one openly admits they’re on WLJ and has happily disclosed how it’s changed their life and relationship with food.

Person two has denied using WLJ and has said that (despite never being able to stick to a diet before), they’ve suddenly managed to cut out sugar, carbs and alcohol from their diet and that is the cause of the weight loss.

Person one has had nothing but compliments and encouragement. Person two has had similar to their face, but also there has been a lot of talking behind their back about how they’re a liar and they’re obviously on the jabs.

I have tried to keep out of it and genuinely don’t know or care if they’re using WLJ or not, but it seems that more damage has been done to their reputation by potentially lying than taking jabs.

In short, everyone assumes you’re on the WLJ if there’s a sudden weight loss nowadays, so if you are, you may as well admit it or risk being labelled a liar which is considerably worse when true.

What a toxic workplace.

I will happily take the risk of "being labelled a liar" by people who think it's ok to discuss colleagues personal health matters at work and allow the workplace reputation of their colleague to be damaged based on their assumption and judgement that a person is "lying" about a private health matter by not disclosing the exact details to their work colleagues.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Being a larger person means being exposed to a huge amount of judgement and shame. Hopefully you will care less about what people think as you are more comfortable in your body. You do not owe ANYBODY an explanation.

Have a script ready for when people will ask.

Thank you, but I'm actually not discussing my body or health. We should change the subject.

I know you meant this as a compliment. I don't like to talk about my body or health.

Again, I appreciate the interest, but my health decisions are private, and I'm not going to discuss them. Anyway...

My health is private, this isn't a discussion for around the dinner table.

If insistent, I might add - I wouldn't ask you about x because it is none of my business. Please stop asking questions about my body.

Friends and family know I am using MJ and are supportive, though some are convinced that my current BMI of 27 is verging on anorexia. Anyone else, if they were to ask I would just say, yes, I am on WLI, they have helped me so much on my diet.

In most cases people will just say you’re looking well , just say thankyou and leave it at that