What do you feel when your slim friends say you are too thin?

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Out tonight with good friends who I haven’t told that I’ve used WLI.
Obviously I’ve changed in the last 18 months as I’ve lost 4 stone, but none of my friends are overweight so we’ve never really discussed weight as a general topic but my weight loss has been commented on, anyway tonight after quite a few glasses of wine a close friend said she thought I’d lost too much weight and looked too thin, I’m a size 10, BMI 22 (still got fat some bits), this friend is slim and always has been, she has no idea how it feels to be obese and fat or how it makes you feel, I casually brushed it off, but I felt a bit pissed off at her comments.

Congratulations on your weight loss. Most likely your 'friend' is displeased because you had the audacity to step outside your role as her fat friend.

I just say I have a healthy bmi and I could lose another stone and still be a healthy weight for my height. And then change the subject. Repeat!

to answer your question - I feel annoyed! And somewhat patronised sometimes too.

This is what I think.

I’m also on WLI & have been quite open about it, I’m a 10-12 and bmi 24, still almost 11 stone . I don’t want to lose anymore as I think it’s aging for me ( & a lot of other women ) and my boobs are now tiny 🤣😭. She could well have meant it genuinely .
But it’s your decision so if you’re happy then tell her as much

Are you a similar size to her now? I think she’s paranoid that she could be the “fat friend” now and doesn’t want that.

People can’t cope with change, and are used to you looking a certain way.

I also don’t think nearly enough research has been done on WLI and the emotional damage done to people when their fat friends become thin. Someone needs to set up support groups.

Well done on your weight loss - just smile and say thank you.

When I was 22 I lost 3.5 stone. I was not underweight, but looked bloody awful. My hands and neck looked like those of a middle aged woman. My face was gaunt. After a few months at the lower weight I looked... well, good. Although my weight was the same, my face and neck had somehow smoothed out. I suspect you are looking too thin at the moment - just because your body and skin needs to get used to the new weight.

First off Congratulations!!!!
I wouldn’t assume ill intent although still inappropriate.
That’s a lot of weight since you last saw her.
I think it can be jarring for those close to us.

Everybody loves a fat friend. I was a size 18 and have spent 2 years slowly losing weight.
I now wear a 12/14. Suddenly friends have noticed and I get comments all the time that I need to stop losing or I will 'disappear' and I won't be healthy if I'm too thin.
The ridiculous part is that my BMI is 24, that makes me still overweight....I'm not thin....I still have another 8 kg to go...I'm just not the go to fat friend anymore and I think they worry that I might end up smaller than them!

Maybe she's just not used to seeing you at your new weight. That's a lot of weight loss.

Not all slim women are paranoid bitches in competition with fat women.

Only the ones whose immediate response is someone looks ‘too thin’

🤣🤣 brilliant but yes OP if your happy and feeling healthy that's what matters.

Probably this. Since I became slim (normal BMI) I’ve noticed some women are weirdly competitive about weight. I’ve noticed some of the thin women at work now look me up and down, it’s disconcerting.

A BMI of 24 isn’t overweight. Under 25 is healthy, not overweight.

I've had this too 'ooh don't lose any more!' When they are still smaller than me. V annoying. I was getting it when I was still technically overweight. I would just say 'well I want to get to well within a healthy BMI' (sometimes the person would then tell me BMI is rubbish) Well done on your loss

It takes a while for everything to even put when you lose weight. One of my friends lost a lot and looking back at photos, she did look ill for a year or two. It wasn't just the change. Everything evened out and she looks amazing now! She also had to relearn how to dress, do makeup and needed a new hairstyle to suit her new face shape.

Totally agree with this. Not necessarily jealousy at all, it’s probably just that you look very different, maybe your face looks a bit more hollow and she genuinely thinks more weight loss wouldn’t suit you.

I say this as someone who has battled with my weight, now a similar bmi to you.

Also agree with this, particularly around make up, clothes and hairstyles.

I’ve gone from a size 18-20 to a size 6-8 and the comments have been… interesting.

They don’t bother me as such - as I’m happy with my choices and love the way I look, but these comments have overwhelmingly come from slim people, who for as long as I have known them, have always been slim.

I don’t know why they say it or the reasoning behind it, but I do wish nobody would comment on my body.

I have noticed that when people lose a lot of weight quickly, they often look quite gaunt and haggard at a healthy weight, and this tends to settle down after they have maintained the weight for a while, as they gain more muscle, their skin fits a bit better and they are able to eat more nutrients at maintenance calories. I think it's a normal party of the weight loss process, and if you are somebody who isn't used to it, it can look worrying.

That’s probably true, but if people were genuinely as concerned for your health as they pretend to be when they judge you for being overweight then they wouldn’t comment on it.

It’s almost as if people are comfortable having fat people to project their insecurities on, and can’t quite break out of it. They are used to being comfortable critiquing their appearance.

People who dare to struggle with their weight can’t win.

I think my response is going to be ‘I thought you were worried about me dying early’

I've lost six stone and had about two nice comments. Everyone else seems to have an opinion on me "not losing any more". People seem to like having a fat friend.

It can be a shock seeing someone looking completely different. I think WLI can give a very specific facial look that initially isn’t very attractive.

If she’s never commented on your weight when you were overweight I wouldn’t automatically ascribe ill intentions towards her. Sudden or dramatic weight loss can make someone look thinner than they actually are, if that makes sense, especially if you haven’t seen each other for a while.