What do you feel when your slim friends say you are too thin?

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Out tonight with good friends who I haven’t told that I’ve used WLI.
Obviously I’ve changed in the last 18 months as I’ve lost 4 stone, but none of my friends are overweight so we’ve never really discussed weight as a general topic but my weight loss has been commented on, anyway tonight after quite a few glasses of wine a close friend said she thought I’d lost too much weight and looked too thin, I’m a size 10, BMI 22 (still got fat some bits), this friend is slim and always has been, she has no idea how it feels to be obese and fat or how it makes you feel, I casually brushed it off, but I felt a bit pissed off at her comments.

I didn't realise that, apologies. Congratulations on achieving 22.9!

Shut her down. It’s rude to talk about people’s bodies, unless you start the conversation.

Ffs, it’s always the same response 🙄
I’m very slim, always have been. My 3 closest friends are all overweight and I’d be bloody delighted if they lost weight as I know they all struggle with their size.

You do realise slim folk are completely capable of being happy for others?

Of course, some slim people are nothing but happy for their friends who lose weight, but there are no doubt many who aren't, too!

I would give the benefit of the doubt unless there was reason not to though, because when someone loses a lot of weight, it can feel like they've gone further than they have just because the difference can be a bit of a shock!

But you would probably not make catty comments about ‘looking old’ or ‘losing too much’. You’d just be happy for them.

OP said her friend said she thought she'd lost too much weight and looked too thin.

How is that catty?

"too much weight", "looked too thin"

I can't think of any other circumstances it would be acceptable to comment on someone's appearance in this way.

It's not concern, it's criticising someone's appearance and is incredibly rude - and catty.

I had similar and this was at bmi 24 so I said if I gain 5lbs I’m overweight again

And want to lose ideally another st and will still be in a healthy bmi

Possibly. I do think people sometimes take a while to settle in to a lower weight (if they’ve lost it quickly anyway) and can look thinner than they are in the face for a bit so she might have genuinely thought it.

Either way, rude of her to say.

I get it a lot now but I just respond with ‘my bmi is 22, I could lose another stone and not be underweight’

To be honest BMI isn’t the best guide to use as shapes are so different. I’m just within a healthy BMI and a very slim size 10. Even just losing another stone I would look terrible. Yet BMI says I could lose a few more.

I've had to get under bmi 23 to be a size 10! Yeh we are all different body shapes too, I'm apple shaped, and height plays a big part in the way we look and fat distribution, not just bmi.

Hahaha that’s hilarious 🤣 please can we set up support groups for pissed off thin friends 😆

Rapid weight loss often leads to a gaunt face, it’s a thing, she may not being cruel, it’s just it can be quite aging. I lost 5 stone on WLI and it was too much. I’m sticking between 11st and 11.5 now and I look much better in the face. If you’re happy with how you look just ignore though!

Yes, fair enough. There are far better ways to express genuine concern.

I've lost 6 stone on MJ 17 stone to 10 stone 13lbsin 9 months a size 18 to a size 10! I've had nothing but nice comments. Maybe your friend is just mean!

Well done that’s incredible work.

you must feel amazing 🤩

Being on the journey myself, and 6 stone down, I find people sometimes don't know what to say, so their well meaning comments can come across in the wrong way.

Regarding the more personal comments, someone a size 14 can look incredibly different compared to a size 24,despite still being overweight, and so it can be perceived as being too thin. But it's more perception than anything else.

I can also name you several naturally slim people who look older than they are with gaunt faces, no boobs, no bum etc but it's considered normal because you have never seen them with higher body fat to compare.

I wouldn’t necessarily assume any ill meaning from your friend. When people lose a lot of weight it can sometimes make their face look gaunt for example. She may be trying to say something along those lines.

I think “aww, you’re pissed bc I’m thin now too aren’t you”? I was recently lectured by two (thin) friends who both smoke like chimneys and eat absolute shite about how I was looking too thin. I reminded them that I’m eating healthier than ever, all my meals are nutritious and that I’m a healthy bmi of 21 - also I mentioned to them that when the last time they saw me I was 4 stone overweight and was sweating and panting walking up the stairs not one of them commented about it or worried after my health. I then looked pointedly at the cigs in their hands and said “you two really should give that up you know”!

That shut them up!

Go the gym, lift weights and become kick ass strong.

I know some people both friends and colleagues who have lost a lot of weight this last year. None of them were obese.
I have no idea whether they are using WLI or not. All middle aged.
It is hard to describe but their faces do not look healthy- they look very drawn and tired. I worry for them in so much as I have no idea when they will stop.
i have had an ED so i guess it triggers me- it doesn’t make me want to lose weight but I know that mindset of getting thinner and thinner that can be so easy slip into.

Meanwhile nowhere does OP say her friend has commented before about her weight.

OP why not ask her what she meant by it if its playing on your mind?

On one hand an easy response is but I'm bigger than you .

However depending on how much muscle you carry you could look thinner than her. An example is I'm half a stone heavier than my daighter, she's also an inch and a half taller than me, but there is no doubt I look thinner , I carry less body fat and more muscle . Even though her bmi is a point lower than mine I look much thinner.