January 2025 Starters - Thread 10 - Onward & Downward Losers!

[meatyryvita]

thread 10 already!

It’s worth it to free yourself from bad situations- no money is worth that.
I think I’ve disinherited myself by going no contact with a ‘family’ member but not having to visit helped my MH no end.

Interesting to hear all your late-stage career musings. I’m 47, I want to go one more level up and then would be happy to stay at that level gaining another 5-10 years experience before start thinking about NED and board roles. I’m the main earner for our household, so I want to maximise my income as much as possible, while balancing out stress levels. We’ve just paid off our mortgage. So now we can focus on saving for the DC uni/deposits, building up the rainy day pot, but also planned expenses for car/house. We have a grannex in the garden, DM lives in it when she’s in the country, but DS1 (autistic) may move into it when he’s older - so I want to make that much more sturdy and habitable. House is already small so can’t see us downsizing.

@DGonMJ you're not just my weight loss twinnie, I'm 47 in a couple of months and main earner. Oh, mortgage paid off next spring, can't wait. And yes, will go to DC college funds. Hopefully they choose a decent cheap country to study in (they are fluent both in French and English, so will have options), but even so it won't be cheap.

Had DC late in life like many here - we're really the sandwich generation with kids who still need support and parents who already do..it's quite exhausting.

Isn’t it amazing how much we all seem to have in common. I think think we’d run out of conversation on a Jan starters night out!

I didn’t get round to injecting earlier and have actually eaten out tonight - took DC2 for a drive by two houses I’d seen for sale. Tomorrow is another day.

@PenelopePerseveres yes - reading through am v similar to many on here in terms of job/life stage. Have been having some fairly major wobbles on ‘what next’ when dds leave/what retirement or semi retirement may hold. My job and trying then being a mother have been my main identifiers for the past 20 years so the next 10 years are going to see some huge changes for me.

but hopefully I’ll be changing in size 12 trousers

Nodding my head along here. Main earner in our household and also have a useless ex to my eldest two who doesn't see them/has never contributed. I do have a lovely husband who is a wonderful step dad.

I'd like to change career at 55 (if not before) and was considering board roles but I'm not sure if I can stand the thought of being anyway involved in corporate life past that age. So, I'm investigating other options at the moment, all of which interest me much more. I'm very much looking forward to the next life stage.

Everyone getting it makes it feel slightly easier, but reinforces how difficult it is too.

@myladyjane me too. I live a fairly quiet life, jugging work and trying to be here for my kids has been it for the last decade. I've got a year to make some changes before I am home alone for the first time in 20 years. I think I'll rejoin the place (golf/gym/spa) I was a member of for years. I left not too long ago as I just didn't get there enough to justify it to myself at £350 a month.

@Thelittlestranger I really do think it could still be great past 55 in the right organisation.

Weigh and jab day today and I've gained a kilo but I did eat out last night and it was probably more salty than usual. I've got one more dose in this pen before I go to 7.5mg but I am wondering whether I should do that now and sacrifice the rest of the pen due to lack of progress. What do you think Losers? My progress is slow and rubbish isn't it.

My news app directed me to Sarah Vine's article in the DM this morning (must have focused on my endless interest in MJ), SV is on a 10mg maintenance dose seven years after starting WLI. I'm surprised at that dose.

I'm surprised at that as a maintenance dose as well. And 7 years - she must have been well ahead of the game.

@PenelopePerseveres I don't doubt working in the right job past 55 could be great. I would struggle to go from the level of work I do now to nothing that's for sure - it's just I'm pretty confident it's not going to be what I'm doing now. I'm quite excited about working out what I can do that allows me to earn enough to not draw on my pension. All kids will be pretty much through uni by then.

7.5mg made the real difference to me in the last stone. I would hope that any side effects would be short lived as you settle into it. It's whether they are worth it or not, or liveable with or not. Good luck with your decision.

Morning losers!
@PenelopePerseveres @myladyjane @Thelittlestranger
I am 51 ( as of my recent birthday!) And had a long chat with my pension advisor last week. I am a single parent of a 16 year old. I have been single about 12 years. I feel more confident in thinking about dating now ( 4 st weight loss, know my colours, dressing better) but I don't know if I would ever live with anyone again.

Thinking about retiring, I don't know that I would want to stop working earlier than I have to as I don't know what I would do!! My work allows up to 6 months unpaid leave and your job is still there. So, I am considering doing that ( maybe twice) in my late 50s early 60s and travelling. I would be able to access some pension money from 57.
I don't really want to change employer as the pension is good with this one! But it's a long time doing the same thing/ working the same place.

SV started on Liraglutide @Thelittlestranger , a predecessor. Thank you, I think I'll try going up. I'll do it now before DC2 is up (still lives under the cavelo nero in a plastic box). We're meant to be driving to the coast today but DC2 wasn't feeling great last night so we will see.

@BreezyPeer that sounds like a great plan. I am sure you will really benefit from that sort of break. I've logged into my own pensions calculator a few times in the last couple of weeks 😅. That's wonderful re your confidence/dating.

@HeidiNotSoHeavy @DGonMJ @BlueLimes like yourselves I had my children later (certainly not late for London). I'm 45 next month with a huge mortgage and one about to go to secondary school and the other still in primary for 3 more years.
Our mortgage is still ridiculous and I will remortgage for as long as I can (I think 22 years) and will sadly need that time to pay it off. We've had chunks paid down with inheritance from my mother and my redundancy last year but still a long way to go, that for me is the next big hurdle. And hubby had just bought a supercar, he said he is paying for it through work but it transpires it's his third job (he is a contractor). I've always been the main earner and concentrated on paying down the mortgage so it is infuriating that now he is earning more than me he is treating himself to toys!! I also took a payout with my new job post redundancy but I have a better work-life balance. I really struggle with feeling like I should earn more but enjoying life as it is. I'd love to step down to 3 days at 55, although I'd hoped I'd be earning more by then so perhaps that won't happen. Current salary is what I would have earned in 4 days in the last job so a bit of a kicker.
My eldest daughter is AuADHD so not sure how independent she will be. We definitely won't be downsizing in the next 20 years!

The thing that benefitted me the most career wise was Covid. Before the age of 55 I was still in the habit of working/earning as much as I could as that’s how it’s always been with two DSs in education and hobbies etc. When the first lockdown started both of them were working.

I was 56 when we locked down the first time and my work pretty much dried up overnight. My major projects were suspended as the client’s personnel involved weren’t essential workers. There were still enough small projects to tick over. Then mum became ill and needed lots of support. She died Dec 2021 and when I emerged from the chaos in early 2022 I was a different person. I started winding my business down at 58 and finally retired on the day I could draw my local government pension from my first job.

The post 55 years in employment are tricky, especially with young adult DC. Don’t worry about wondering what you’d do if you retire - the old saying about not knowing how you found the time to go to work is true!

@tinyemmy oh I’d be infuriated by that too! If you are enjoying life, don’t change anything at the moment, sounds like you’ve done more than your fair share.

@PenelopePerseveres cab you use the last dose for this pen and top up with the new one?

@BreezyPeer 6 months leave sounds a great chance to have an adventure 😊

That sounds tough @tinyemmy . Sometimes, when I talk to my parents, I realise how screwed we are as a generation. Early retirement, cheap houses, gold plated pensions - all things that they enjoyed that have disappeared. I do think about the retirement age and it being extended all the time vs people with our skills and experience not being able to move roles/find new opportunities and there being few jobs for graduates. How will that look long term?

@Jins it sounds like you navigated a path through that very difficult stage/change very well.

I definitely need to change my life a bit, my mortgage feels like it has me trapped atm, hence my plan to change that first. I'd hoped to stay here a few more years to give me more equity to share with DCs, but I just don't feel confident in my employment situation/morale/culture/even long term security to do that. I need to reduce things that bring me stress, that is 90% work. I'm struggling to change work so I am going to change the things that mean I have to rely on my salary level being where it is. That's all I can come up with.

@BlueLimes , I've had three x 6.25mg out of a 5mg pen. So there's one 6.25mg left. I think I can do the 15 clicks I need on this and then the pen will lock (just about to try it).

So then I think I'll have about 5mg in this pen won't I (bonus dose)? I guess I could just use that and top it up with my new pen next week rather than waste it.

I’m very fortunate to have a final salary pension, but that means it’s not a good idea to wind down before retirement. I work for a NFP and although it’s often stressful, I do enjoy my work. I have a side hustle and will definitely supplement my income with that post retirement, but I’m very jealous of Boomer women who retired at sixty on full pensions with paid off mortgages. My mortgage will be paid off when I am 63 and I will review everything then. No inheritance coming my way and no partner so it’s all on me.

I am away next weekend with DS, who is lots of fun. I am due to inject on the Thursday night but I think I will leave it and inject Monday night when I return. I am getting closer to maintenance and this is a good opportunity to see how I feel with a little less medication in my system.

@PenelopePerseveres doses are tough to work through. It’s really easy to say go up but it’s not always the right answer I find. I am due to start moving up from 7.5 this week - should have a bit extra in my bonus dose hopefully on Thursday then a 10mg pen from next week. But Thursday/friday/yesterday on 7.5 I’ve barely been able to eat a full meal, upset tummy and heartburn. Today I am STARVING. So I am vacillating back and forth in my mind all the time.

I am always amused by the geriatric mother thing. I was 34 throughout most of my pregnancy so never got called that but gave birth just after my 35th birthday. I was the first in my group of friends and London based family to have babies. Moved back to where I grew up when the kids were due to start school (much more rural although still close to a city) and we are some of the eldest parents at the school gate. My DDs boyfriends mum is under 40 and they are on their gcse year.

to end on an amusing note, yesterday my trousers fell down. They were size 18 ‘beach’ trousers (ie loose, elasticated waist wide legged things from M&S) bought in May and had been slowly creeping down my legs all day. I was play arguing with dd and she stepped on the hem, I took a step and with just the smallest gentlest tug they ended up round my ankles. Dd cried with laughter and I put them on the charity bag……

Haven't done it yet @myladyjane , I'm reading the Sunday Times and have barely moved so far, but I am keen to get to 7.5mg so I will once I get to the kitchen. I didn't realise you had been struggling a bit. I was going to double my omeprazole just in case. Fingers crossed for few side effects for both of us.

I was given the 'advanced maternal age' label at 36.

😂🏆😂at your trousers falling down! Hilarious.

You spring chickens- I had my DD at 40 !

@PenelopePerseveres 5mg pen - around 25mg approx. So maybe only 1 6.25mg dose left. Possibly tiny bit more? 90 clicks 7.5mg. so I’d see how many clicks, then top up with new pen. Or a syringe might be easier?

@myladyjane sorry you’ve been struggling - but complete trouser win!

@Jins so pleased things worked out well in the end.

Maintenance stats:
Jab#31 • 11th maintenance wk • 4th 3.33mg
SW 79.6kg • GW 62.4kg • CW 59.6kg (BMI 21.7)
0.1kg loss this week so a good maintenance week for me

Super hungry mid-week, but not as ravenous towards the end of the week. But maybe I’m just getting used to it?
I was ok on 1650 calories on Friday, didn’t feel deprived, but I suspect I hit 2000 calories yesterday having meringue, rhubarb, berries and cream for dessert!
Have also managed to avoid online shopping this week, returns are softening my credit card bill.
I’ve got two weeks of mainly wfh, then off to Cornwall for two weeks, am craving more time away but need to pay for the roof first before I can book anywhere else.

@PenelopePerseveres if you’ve not jabbed yet, I agree with @BlueLimes and would opt for a syringe. I did that last week when I ran out of clicks.

@myladyjane a very funny NSV! Thank goodness you were home! If you’re still finding yourself unable to finish meals on some days and still losing them maybe you’re still ok on your current dose?

@zempy I definitely haven’t factored inheritance into my future. DM’s mother lived to 103, so am expecting her to likely outlive me! DF has a complicated situation with his partner (divorced, back together but stayed divorced), so there will be some contesting over his house that she lives in with my two adult DBs. DH’s parents died within a couple of years of each other before Covid and the £5k left in the account paid off the funeral costs.

@tinyemmy I hear you on not knowing how independent ND DC will be. I really hope DS will one day want to have his own place, but I’m also fully expecting him to come back and live with us during tough times. And I would want him to. My biggest fear for him is depression. DH has anxiety that sometimes escalates to depression and DS seems to have inherited that as part of his autism.

Sorry I missed some posts.
@HeidiNotSoHeavy agree - definitely squeezed middle. At least we’re not chubby squeezed anymore 🤣

@Zempy definitely enjoy your weekend.

@DGonMJ you’re navigating really well !

@Thelittlestranger good luck with exploring options.

I've found that too, it is quite strange. It's almost I'd week that I can eat a horse and then by the end of the week the appetite isn't quite there. I'm currently on day 7 and no desire to eat everything in the fridge, although not jabbing until day 10/11 this week and I did up my dose to 3.75 to give me a bit more coverage. I think I will be staying at this dose until I'm at the bottom of my target range and then try and come down a bit again.

@PenelopePerseveres definitely don't waste any of the pen.

It's so interesting hearing about others plans for retirement/jobs/mortgages. It does make me feel like I've made the right choice to slightly step back SO I can enjoy life more whilst still earning enough. I don't have the prestigious role that some of my friends have but I see a lot more of my children and that is important to me.
I read recently someone said go for the lifestyle that you want, not the job title and I think for the most part I have that. If just like the mortgage paid off and a bit more on the bank for more holidays!

Honestly you all sound badass. So many of you working your arses off and providing for your children (and not just financially either) 💪🏻

I am the opposite and had my dd at 23 (she’s now 11) and have no hope of ever buying a house. God knows what the work/retirement situation will be when I hit that age, but it is what it is…

Jab day today for me. My third dose of 10mg already!! The weeks have passed so quickly.

I need to decide if I should get another 10mg pen or start going back down the doses now. I’m at 8st 13 still but just worked out I’ve lost 4lbs since I moved up to 10mg, and even though 4lbs doesn’t sound like much it I can feel/see a big difference physically. It is bizarre! A pair of size 8 jeans I bought only a month ago are now too big and I’ve had to take them in by an inch at the waist. I measured yesterday and my waist is now 25 inches 😮 It would probably measure smaller if I didn’t have that loose skin too!

My final goal is 8st 7 so I’m only 6lbs off now. My head still hasn’t caught up with my body though and I still have days where I feel the same as I did before I started.

@discov I saw myself from behind in a dressing room and yes though the same, that my backside looks just the same. Considering my backside is in Levis 25 inch jeans, that's clearly not possible. Probably as my waist is of course a lot slimmer, the proportions look the same?