What makes a wedding fun or terrible?

[Friedseasalt]

We’ve still got a while until our wedding, but I’ve been thinking about what actually makes weddings fun for guests.

I know some people love them and others find them long or a bit boring, so I’m curious — what are your favourite things about weddings and what do you dislike the most?

Anything that really makes a wedding enjoyable (or the opposite)?

The food situation makes or breaks it. Wedding timings often mean people don't get lunch and then have to wait hours for something decent to eat.
Ceilidhs are always a winner for me.

Definitely this! Make sure there’s enough food and drinks. Also, the vibe of the crowd who are coming- not much you can do to change it if you have boring friends though!

Hunger. I've been to too many weddings where I've been left faint with hunger while the couple spend hours posing for photos, or (memorably, yes I am bitter) eating their own sandwiches while we starve.

Also being sat with people the couple think you might like, rather than with the people I actually know.

Also, weddings without dancing because the bride and groom don't like dancing. Well I do! I've been hungry and bored all day, at least give me something to look forward to!

(Sorry, not a wedding fan as you may have guessed!).

Weddings I've enjoyed have started after lunch so avoid forced starvation, have sat me with people I know, and have had good music and dancing.

Food and drink 100%. And as little 'hanging around' as possible

Definitely make sure there is plenty of food at the right time. Don’t make people wait ages.

Don’t make it a team building exercise. I don’t want to be all mixed up and sat with random people throughout the wedding breakfast. Let me sit with people I actually know and I’ll be having a much better time.

Get a good DJ who takes requests on the night.

PLENTY of weather appropriate food, at fairly regular intervals through the day. I say weather appropriate because my parents once went to a wedding in Ireland in January and the main course was fridge cold chicken breast and salad on cold plates 😱

Place for people to sit down through the day, and quiet spaces away from music during the reception/ evening do for people who just want to chat

I would absolutely hate any kind of organised 'fun' activity. I don't expect to have 'fun' at a wedding as such, but I do expect to be warm, dry and well fed

Food quickly after the service, even if canapés.
Not too much hanging around for photographs.

Great minds think alike!

Agree with PPs, it’s timing and food. Don’t have people kicking around for ages without any food or drink while you’re off taking pictures, for example.
When planning, think of yourselves as hosts who want your guests to have a good time, not as people having a special day all about them that the guest have to just fit in with. It will be a special day all about you anyway, your guests will make it that (especially if well fed!).

Being able to sit where I want at the reception. Although I find even with seating plans after the food and speeches people swap around anyway.
A good DJ who gets everyone up dancing.

Ha! Also not a huge fan of weddings. 😂

Enough food, enough drink (particularly water if it is hot - I have wilted before now!) and a bride and groom that look besotted with each other.

Only wedding I enjoyed was short ‘service’, copious drinks , no ‘set’ photos and then guests sat where they wanted for food. The couple (two men) wanted their guests to enjoy the day and we did!

I love the speeches- always my favourite part of the day.

Decent non alcoholic options.

I quite like being mixed up with other people at dinner as long as I know a few people on the table.

Short service, short speeches. Good food and drink (doesn’t need to be an open bar). Later start time, after lunch is preferable (I once went to a wedding that started at 10.30, it was a nightmare!). Reasonable accommodation close by, or good public transport links. No massive table decorations so you can’t talk to people on the table. Good music that covers more populist tastes - I’m not a massive fan of pop music myself, but I’ve been to a few that had such niche tastes nobody danced apart from the bride and groom!

The best weddings I’ve been to had good food, free flowing drinks and a band followed by a DJ.
I always find the best venues have the bar near the dance floor - I’ve been to a few where it’s separate and you end up with a flat atmosphere because everyone is spread out.
I don’t think Sunday weddings have the same vibe as Saturday weddings - probably because people have work the next day.

Too much hanging about ruins it, start late in the day, ceremony, meal, dancing. Keep it tight, no breaks

Food for sure. Weather but that’s not in your control. Everyone loved the live music we had on the night time so that was a good decision.

‘Weddings I've enjoyed have started after lunch so avoid forced starvation, have sat me with people I know, and have had good music and dancing.’ This really. Also went t9 a wedding recently, bearing in mind I’m now late 50$, where there was a quieter cosy spot that had unlimited tea and coffee, that was ace!

No hanging around. No overly bossy photographers. Lots of good food and a free bar. Short speeches. Excellent music. The last wedding we went to was great until the evening bit where the music was dire and barely anyone danced.

20 min civil ceremony at 1pm. Dinner served at 4.30pm. “Drinks and canapes” as the only activity in between, no entertainment or any structure. If you don’t know loads of people, it’s a long time to stand and make small talk for. The drinkers tend drink to fill the time and a few small canapes don’t line the stomach so you get a load of pissed guests for dinner.

Then the party afterwards falls flat because people have started to sober up!

We had a later wedding, earlier dinner and people were buzzing to get on the dance floor….

I know it’s not always possible but a venue where guests can stay. DH and I went to friends wedding in the autumn and the chance to escape for half an hour after the meal was a game changer. We felt rested and ready to party for the evening and I even changed into a more evening appropriate outfit.

Also, and I don’t know quite how you define it, but a day that is very ‘you’ as a couple. I’ve been to a couple of weddings that felt very performative and didn’t really fit the B&Gs personality.

Immediate food and drink.

We had antipasto and Cremant as soon as people arrived from the registry office.

A venue that is close to home, rather than an Instagram worthy hotel or castle miles from anywhere. I'm the designated driver (teetotal) so I don't want to be driving 50 miles down country lanes after midnight. The best one I went to was at our local church followed by a reception at the local Royal British Legion. Back home to my own bed afterwards.

Start as late as possible, feed guests, music low enough that people can talk without screaming.

The worst weddings I've had to go to have been ones where the couple don't like each other,
guests left hungry,
food inedible when it did arrive,
long dreary religious ceremonies,
starting at 11am-that was a 14+ hour day for guests- absolute hell.