What makes a wedding fun or terrible?

[Friedseasalt]

We’ve still got a while until our wedding, but I’ve been thinking about what actually makes weddings fun for guests.

I know some people love them and others find them long or a bit boring, so I’m curious — what are your favourite things about weddings and what do you dislike the most?

Anything that really makes a wedding enjoyable (or the opposite)?

A terrible wedding is one that doesn’t prioritize guest comfort. Guests need basic things like food, shelter, and water. They also need a place to rest. A surprisingly large number of weddings don’t worry about simple things like chairs or non-alcoholic beverages.

A great wedding is just the opposite. It doesn’t have to be fancy. The couple just need to be good hosts.

A venue that’s easy to get to/from cos no one wants to be relying on rural taxi services to a BnB in the arse end of nowhere at midnight!

Plenty to eat and drink.
Good music.
Short speeches.
Not too much hanging around, photos etc.
Making sure the people on the tables will all get on.

Food is important. Some interesting non alcoholic drinks - too often just tap water or cheap orange juice. Enough seating. Not too much hanging around. And the ability to talk to people without having to shout over overloud music.

A relaxed bride and groom.
Enjoy the day and have fun, you can sit and talk anytime.

Don’t expect your guests to go on expensive hen parties.

Don’t expect your bridesmaids to buy their own outfits.

Keep it simple and personal.

Remember that a wedding is celebrate the marriage of two people, not produce instragram-worthy photos.

Something in the way of a quieter setting for the more sedate, older guests. They like a cup of tea with their cake too! 😴
For others, a good band to get the dancing going, late evening snacks like pizza.
Then people who are good at clearing up in the morning if you're doing some of it yourselves.

Wedding and then the celebration gathering (whatever form that takes) in the same location straight away afterwards.

The worst bit about weddings is travelling between venues and/or big gaps between events. Like being invited to the wedding at 11am and the reception at 6 with nowhere to go inbetween !!!

Keep your guests fed and watered. I’ve been to church weddings where drinks and snacks were served while photographs were being taken, and one winter wedding had mulled wine and mince pies after the wedding service. Drinks and canapés on arrival at the reception are a must - and make sure there are enough canapés: nothing worse than the bride and groom disappearing for an interminable amount of time while everyone else drinks far too much with nothing to soak it up. I went to one wedding where the gap between wedding and dinner was so long that the caterers took pity on the children there and made some sandwiches for them, while the other guests looked on enviously! Also, enough seating - not everyone can stand for hours, and I’ve been to weddings where the guests were virtually playing musical chairs because there weren’t enough seats.

Good: Prioritising the ceremony as what it is - the most important part of the day. Enough seats, quiet spaces, plenty of tea/coffee/soft drinks.
Bad: Too many/too long speeches. Too much time taking photos. Prosecco instead of champagne for the toasts. A tacky "evening do" - either have something with a proper band , or a relaxed At Home, or just don't bother. Too many people - about 70 maximum, preferably fewer.

Best ones have decent music and plenty of food. One served bacon butties at 11 during the disco - that was great.

People being happy, and not bride/groomzillaish. Not spending, or expecting guests to spend, crazy amounts. Some people find weddings where you can't sit down/have to travel a long way/are outside in extreme weather porblematic.

Guest comfort is number one!

I work in weddings, and some of the worst have been the ones where the couple are self absorbed and determined their day will be outside, whatever the weather.

Last year I was part of one where the guests had to stay outside during the very windy Storm Amy, I kid you not.
And at the other end of the spectrum, even a beautiful sunny day becomes uncomfortable for some guests without shade.

Good food and drink. Not starting too early so there is loads of hanging around. Making sure if it’s a cold day guests have shelter and don’t get freezing!! Also not in the middle of nowhere so it’s tricky for everyone to get taxis!!

Yup, enough food is the big one!

Having now done a couple of weddings with children to look after: a venue with a big open space combined with opportunities between service/photos/dinner/dancing for kids to run around and play was an absolute winner and very much appreciated.

Worst things are it's too far away and there is a "special deal" at the hotel the reception is at, to make everyone stay there. And because it is in the arse end of nowhere there are no alternative options so of course you stay there.
Rubbish bar with no decent beers and /or too expensive. If it's only Carling or John Smiths at £8 a pint then book somewhere else.
Too many speeches which are too long.
Not enough food.
Food not served early enough.
Not enough veggie food at the buffet so the meat eaters eat it all.
Nowhere else to get food because you are in the arse end of nowhere so you can't just nip out for food.

Hassle of travelling a long way from one venue to another.

Nowhere quiet to sit and talk during the music. I don't want to have to shout.

No one wants 3 best man speeches.

Food from a van is great later in the night when people are hungry at different times. Not at 2.30pm when we are all already hungry.

I would rather a no children after X time than no kids at all, although that only works if I can actually get home. Otherwise we are stuck in a hotel room with said child and unable to sleep because of the ongoing disco.

I don't really want to see everyone again at breakfast either - so all in full the hotel wedding everyone stays over at because it's impossible to get home is a no from me.

No dress codes or themes imposed on guests.

Don't give the guests unexpected chores because you liked the idea of a DIY wedding but haven't got it done in time.

I like a good wedding and have enjoyed almost all the weddings I've been to over the years.

I'd agree with almost everyone else that you need to feed your guests well, and promptly, and take into account how early they will have set off in the morning, in terms of missing lunch if your timings mean that will happen.

I think you should not expect the wedding guests to have to pay out ££££ to attend your wedding. So no venue miles from anywhere so people have to stay over and there are no taxis available. No instructions about what colours people should wear. No expectations that loads of people (wedding party and partners, close family, etc) will pay to stay 2 nights in your venue if it is going to cost them an arm and a leg.

We'll all have different preferences ourselves over band vs DJ / Childfree vs teeming with kids / type of food we like or don't like / etc, but I think everyone will agree on the two things above.

-Short speeches (speeches lasted 50 mins at last wedding i went to, including a whole biography of the bride by her dad. It was shit)

-speeches after dinner

-guests always fed. If it’s a lunchtime wedding then give canapes or lunch straight after

-Practical venue, not in the middle of nowhere. So somewhere where it’s easy to get a hotel and transport or to park your car.

-Preferably ceremony and reception in same place

-Disco rather than band personally. I don’t want jazzy versions of good songs i want to dance to

Bloody hell. I’d have just left!

Also, don’t have it on a Sunday.

Ooh I love weddings!

Just think through the whole day start to finish from the perspective of a guest. You can't please everyone but you can make sure there's no periods of active discomfort or inconvenience. So invite kids or don't but don't be dick about people not coming if you don't. Time it so they don't have to worry about whether or not to eat beforehand (or clearly communicate that). Don't make them travel miles between wedding place and reception place or make sure you set up lift shares for people. No standing around in high heels on soft ground under full sun balancing a glass of champagne and hors d'ouvres while you have photos of every possible combination of people you know taken. Lots of food and music and booze and not-booze. And dancing. A live band of some kind is best. Mix people up if you want to, I personally like meeting the bride or groom's other people at a wedding and think it's the whole point (especially encouraging other people to fall in love), but you know your guests best. I love the speeches too! As long as they are funny or tearful. Big gaps of no activity are OK as long as there are comfy seats and refreshment available. Preferable have loads of very cute small bridesmaids or page boys. Have a lovely time!

Minimal "hanging around" during photos etc.

Speeches should not be:

• before guests have eaten
• with guests standing
• too long
• mawkish attempts to make guests cry
• a eulogy to every deceased family member. Yes, I'm sure granny/uncle Bernard would have loved to be here but they died 10 years ago

This is why we made ours 3pm and still some people hadn't eaten. We did provide canapés by about 4pm/4.30pm though!

Plenty of food, served quickly, not too much hanging around, short speeches and a reasonable temperature for people wearing thin formal clothes.

And no bloody barns, fields, DIY elements (unless the guests are really close friends) and no queuing up for food vans!

Agree with all of these.

Food is important - dont make people wait hours and hours in between the wedding and the meal, its boring, tedious and makes you just want to go home.

Weddings should be relaxed, I've been to some really fancy but very uptight weddings and there was zero joy or fun in them. It was like attending a lecture, not celebrating someone's relationship.

Make it unique to you. I have attended so many completely generic weddings where everything was done the same that, looking back, just feel like a generic blur. The weddings that stand out to me are the ones that truly represented the personalities of the couple and I enjoyed them so much