My father got engaged 5 weeks after me!

[Furryguineapig]

My father got engaged 5 weeks after me. At the time it felt that he was stealing my thunder a bit and couldn’t let me have my moment. He also didn’t receive the reaction from friends and family he was hoping for so initially said that he wouldn’t get married until after my wedding. However, out of the blue he has now informed me they have decided to get married 6 months before me. I’m struggling to understand my feelings, why am i so hurt?

It’s worth pointing out they have been together for 25 years and I do not have a good relationship with my step-mum to be.

Most people plan a wedding over a year or two. Why couldn’t you have gotten married the following year if you’d been together for so long anyway? I would be a bit miffed in your brother and SIL situation I can’t lie.

Because it fell on our 20th anniversary, which made dates nice and simple. Like 25/5th anniversary, 30/10th anniversary etc.

DP's work benefits changed their T&C to spouses and not partners so we had to get married if I still wanted Bupa.

I actually don’t agree that weddings and other life events aren’t a big deal to other people as not everyone feels that way.
I love my friends and love their happiness and I have such a brilliant memories from different celebrations.

Mine got married three days before me and couldn’t understand why I was busy that week

Stealing your thunder 5 weeks after you got engaged? Its the most important date for you but the rest of the world

It is rather odd they'd suddenly decide to marry after 25 years and it just happens to be an engagement very close to yours. I think I'd be a bit 'hmmm' over it too. If you think it's a deliberate thing just act nonchalant and gushy over it so they don't get the reaction they want.

It's upsetting but in reality, no-one can steal your thunder. You will be celebrating a special day for you and your stbdh. Just focus on having the day you want.

It's not like he announced it the same day. It was five weeks later. Do you think you have exclusive rights to be engaged? They're getting married six months before you. How is that relevant to your wedding?

I think you need to look into why your dad announcing his engagement 5 weeks after yours and getting married around 6 months earlier is upsetting to you. I'd be happy for my dad, and don't believe in the stealing thunder concept at all - but even if you do - 5 weeks is over a month - surely orher people are allowed to announce joyous moments a month after you announcing yours!! Your focus should be on your happiness and planning, I've no idea why other people also getting married takes away from your joy in starting married life with your partner.

They announced their engagement 5 weeks after you and are getting married 6 months before you. Both of these timings are plenty for you to have had/have your moment. You are being OTT, I don’t mean that to sound unkind and I think it’s understandable as you don’t get in with your dad’s partner but don’t let them bother you, just enjoy your engagement, wedding planning and wedding day.

So true

I think you need to get over yourself and realise the world doesn't revolve around you!

I don't understand your reaction re the timing of the announcement or possible date. Fine re you not getting on with his partner, but the rest seems over the top.

I can't see why you're upset because I don't think he's done anything wrong, are you wanting his attention or support around it maybe? And now he's going to be focused on his wedding, not yours? Or your feelings about his partner? Your parents not being together?.

People's lives don't go on hold just because someone close to them is getting married. That is an unreasonable and unrealistic expectation.