Taking newborn to wedding

[ZanyPinkSeal]

I am currently pregnant and a very close friend of mine is getting married 3 weeks after my due date. I plan to go. But potentially baby will be 2 weeks if I’m late.

The venue is pretty far about 40 mins drive away and a mutual friend will be driving. I could get a hotel there but I just feel like I won’t be comfortable in a hotel with a new born and also I may want to go home early.

The thing I worry about already is that this is a friend not family but I have known her family a long time. I don’t know how I will feel about people wanting to hold the baby and my baby being passed around like a doll. Am I being abit OCD about this, or would you feel comfortable if people wanted to hold your baby that young? And I know they will as they have already mentioned it, they have said oh you can have a drink and there will be plenty of hands for the baby. Tbh I don’t think I will drink it will still be pretty early in to recovery for me. I plan to probably go to the ceremony and then the evening part but leave a little early.

If the wedding is 3 weeks after your due date, the baby could be 1 week old. I REALLY wouldn’t want to hold someone’s 1 week old (other than a close relative I guess!), hopefully others are the same as me! Feels so unnatural and an intrusion, 1 week olds just need to be attached to their parents.

Sounds like you’re planning to without your partner?? Definitely will need your partner there IMO.

Partner, sling, confidence with feeding are probably the main things to take with you.

If you have an other half going, it would work. Don't go alone.

Why would they need to be in the back?

I would get the hotel and it would be lovely to have a night away and you would have a nice place to use as your own and can leave when you want.

Agree use the sling or carrier and just keep your baby with you as a unit.

I did first major event with baby ten days old and don’t remember passing them around. Have some lovely pictures of me and the baby together at the table during the sit down meal and it was nice, I just kept the baby on me.

You could use public transport if you didn’t feel up to the drive and of course that prevents worry about car seat time.

Another vote for "it depends". DS1 was a week late then I had a PPH and lots of stitches which got badly infected meaning I was back in hospital for several days. Three weeks after his due date, I was only just home again and still really unwell - not a chance I'd have made it to a wedding. Although we did do two when he was a couple of months old which were absolutely fine with a sling.

DS2 was also late but much more straightforward aftermath and I was on a trampoline at a kid's birthday party with DS1 three weeks after his due date. So you just can't tell - I think you have to be straight with the bride that you might physically not be able to make it, however much you'd like to, and see if she's prepared to have a maybe space for you. Fingers crossed you'll be fine - good luck!

Look - you can plan on going, and hope it’ll all work out. And most likely, it will.
You don’t need to let people hold the baby. And most likely the baby would be in a carrier of sorts anyway. You are not going to want to carry him for several hours in your hands - its tiring.

My nephew was a tiny newborn at my wedding and slept through most of it in a carseat. No one wanted to hold him - people were there to celebrate and party.

If you give birth later, and/or if there are complications and you aren’t up for it - you’ll not attend and the bride will understand.

I went to a wedding with DD2 at 15 days old. It was fine, no one asked to
hold her I recall, I passed her to friends a couple of times so I could go the loo. But DH was there, the wedding was in a hotel and we had a downstairs room not far away from the main event space and there were ample quiet seats to escape to. It was a 7 course fancy dinner thing but was fine.

i had an easy and quick birth and recovery, and easy breastfeeding journey. Couldn’t have done the same at DD1’s age, I could barely see straight let alone sit with DD1

Two weeks postpartum with my first my legs and feet were still so swollen that I couldnt even get my husband's shoes on. And I probably was crying all the time.
20 mins after being discharged after my second I took my first to a soft play party. So basically.... You won't know until you've done it. I agree a sling is the best idea if you do go.

Have answers ready for people who want to hold baby.
People won't demand to hold tiny babies generally.
You'll feel less anxious if you are confident with your response.

No, she's a bit young.
No, she's a bit fussy.
No, ask me when she's a month older.

Yes, thanks, five minutes to go to the loo will be heaven.
Yes, sit here and I'll hand her over for a bit.
Yes, she's snoozing, sit here in the quiet.

I'll have my baby back now, thanks.
Thankyou, she's due a feed.
I'll have her now. Thanks for the cuddle.

I went to a wedding when my DD was 3 weeks old. Had a lovely time. Only people that held her were myself, her dad and my parents. Other than that she was snoozing in the pram really. Made sure she was fed and had a clean nappy on just before the ceremony started and she slept through the whole thing x

Is your DH going? And able to do the driving?

I took an 8 week old to a wedding, the service and meal were fine. I was worried about the music being too loud at night.

If you can get a room at the venue I would because it gives you somewhere to go when the B&G are getting photos done. And somewhere to BF with out worrying about it.

If DH goes then he could take the baby to the room so you can get a little time to dance.

It should be fine with a bit of planning.