Will people think this is odd?

[Weddingbellsaringing]

To me it sounds ok but a comment from SIL has got me thinking.

DP and I don't want a big fancy day. It's just not our style. So instead of a sit down wedding breakfast we are looking to do buffet and music in a local function room. We'll decorate it ourselves. There will be around 50 guests. However we would like the traditional church ceremony.

Would it be odd to have a church wedding followed by a casual low-key party after? My SIL seems to think that guests will expect a "proper" reception if it's after a church service, and that if we want a casual party then we should have the wedding in a registry office instead. Tell me she's crazy, with outdated ideas about weddings. Or is she right? I'm giving myself a headache overthinking it all. I just want a day I'll enjoy, but I also don't want to be secretly judged lol

No, your plan is not odd at all. It sounds lovely. I attended a wedding like this and it was a brilliant day. Church wedding and celebration afterwards in the church hall with a hot and cold buffet and a selection of cold desserts.

A second serving of hot food later in the evening was well received as a light supper to renergiise the dancers as the band played all night.

Plan your wedding the way you want to celebrate it and have a wonderful day.

This is exactly the sort of wedding we had ( albeit 35 years ago.)married in a church. I made the cake, we decorated the hall. Buffet food was done by a friend of my mum’s. Drink was provided by a booze cruise my FiL went on. People still talk about it being the nicest wedding they had ever been to ( and that’s comparing it to a number of other family weddings which were enormous affairs costing a fortune! )

One of the best weddings we have been to was a late ceremony in the church, we then headed straight to the function where we danced the night away and had a buffet.

wedding ceremony wasn’t until 6pm so they did the official ceremony then we all went to party, an amazing night.

The two last weddings we attended in the village we lived in last both involved a church service in the village church, followed by (1) everyone walking down the street to the pub function room for a buffet and music and at the other wedding (2) an old circus tent pitched on a clearing in the woods on a friend’s farm nearby.

And actually, the one before than, also a church service in the same church, ended in everyone camping in a field by the canal, with a hog roast.

Ask your SIL why she thinks a church service implies any particular kind of formality afterwards?

A church wedding and a formal hotel sit down meal and a relaxed buffet in a room above a pub would all be the same dress code to me. It's a wedding, regardless of the venue I'd wear the same kind of dress to all of them. If it was my wedding I wouldn't have a clue what guidance to give anyone about dress code other than "wear normal wedding clothes".

OP your SIL is definitely being very odd. No idea where she's got her ideas.

And some where to sit and eat and proper plates and cutlery.

It sounds lovely. The ceremony is what matters - anything else is optional, and entirely up to the couple.