I don’t want to drink alcohol at my Hen do’s or Wedding

[Butterfly1728]

I’m getting married this month and I’m feeling like I don’t want alcohol (gives me terrible anxiety and depression for days!).

How do I normalise that I’m not drinking alcohol without feeling pressured/judged? Not that I can control anyone’s thoughts anyway!

Oh God, I’m already getting the “I didn't sign up for this” comments when I said I may not be drinking 😢 My self esteem is always low and my need to please people is high and this kind of comment makes me want to drink just to please them 😢

From whom?

One of the girls who is on my hen do tonight, a work colleague.

Just tell people you want to have a clear head and remember the event.

“Super, that’s one less guest to worry about”

How does she know you’re not drinking?

How does it affect her? She is free to get drunk until she’s puking on the pavements outside….you’re not stopping her!

Well done for making that decision, knowing it’s the best thing for you. I’ve (fairly) recently decided to cut out alcohol altogether. I’m a terrible binge drinker and go through phases of thinking I can just have one or two but it never works out, and after just another occasion of somewhat embarrassing myself, I decided enough was enough. Anyone who asks, I just say it was the best decision for me, and, at the beginning, that I think I’ll be happier this way (now it’s I am happier this way!)

I was asked as I drove to the station and I said I wasn’t drinking, then came the comment.

Funnily enough, I did say that “I’m not stopping you drinking hun”

Sounds like she has some issues that she’s projecting onto you.

Oh, right. She's just an arse. Roll eyes and ignore.

Had she already had a bit to drink / was it a joke that fell a bit flat? Or was she properly serious?

Is everyone else not bothered?

No drink has been consumed yet, we’re going out after work.
May have been a joke? Who knows! Always seriousness in jest.
Not sure if anyone else is bothered.

My PIL's wedding photos are so depressing they are kept in a box and none have ever been framed. She is pregnant but hiding it and he is legless.
Don't drink. It ruins weddings.

My DH seldom drinks and orders cordial at the bar, he just says “yeah I’m just not that bothered” and people don’t have anything else to say!

She didn’t sign up for what exactly, what on earth is she talking about!…..she can drink if she wants, just because someone else isn’t drinking doesn’t mean she cant drink,

Or she doesn’t have to go if that’s what she wants, she just sounds like a silly b*h who isn’t really your friend

Stick to your guns ….more than ever now

I got married last year and didn’t drink at either my hen or wedding (despite the fact we had a free bar!). It wasn’t a thing at all. I’m just not a big drinker and didn’t fancy it. No one cared or even probably noticed.

I believe she means she didn’t sign up for me not drinking, and as I’m the Hen I’m guessing it’ll be expected that I drink.

So what she is really saying is that she really has no interest in going and spending time with you to celebrate your hen unless you are drinking, she just wants a boozy night out…..she’s not a real friend at all….just ignore

“Well I didn’t sign up for a night of not watching you snort lines of cocaine Deborah, yet here we are.”

She has to be at least half joking. There is no way any reasonably sane person would take the hump so openly about someone else deciding not to drink. If she isn't joking...Christ, who are these people? I'd rather stay at home I think! Sounds like a night out in style of Geordie shore or something and there's a reason they don't make that program anymore

You might as well stick a post it with ‘I’m pregnant’ on your head.

Why did you feel the need to announce it? This is where people start having an unwanted opinion or being judgy.

Can’t you just tell them you want to enjoy every minute of your hen and wedding day so want to stay as sober as possible 🤷🏻‍♀️

When some friends got judgy with me about not drinking alcohol, I said it always gave me either diarrhoea or a UTI (completely true) and included some graphic details about exactly what happens. Nobody has EVER questioned it since!

I've not read the responses so probably repeating what's been said.
1 so what if people judge you. They can't do anything with that judgement anyway,

2 You are a grown ass woman. You dont need reasons or excuses.
I dont want a drink is enough.
If pressed why, " I don't want to"
Works for me anyway!

I just didn't drink at my wedding barely anyone said anything, I was offered plenty of drinks and just said no thanks. There were a few people asking if I'm pregnant which were laughed off, turns out I was pregnant but didn't know yet.