Walking yourself down the aisle?

[Skyhu]

Has anyone walked themselves down the aisle?

Would be intrigued to hear people's reflections on this.

Context:

• My dad left my mum when I was a baby and has been in and out of my life growing up. Stayed at his for the odd weekend, never saw him as a father figure. Now we see each other about twice a year as a formality
• I have a step-dad who has done more than he needed to for me. That being said, I don't know if I see him as a father figure either (see next bullet point)
• My mum met my step dad when I was 14. From then until I left home, my mum would leave me home alone (no siblings or other family) for days whilst she went on dates with my step dad. As a teenager, this was a lot to deal with and left me with an eating disorder and all sorts of other issues now as an adult.

I'm on decent enough terms with all three of my parents now. Have never spoken to them about the above as I know they would be defensive and the conversation just isn't worth the hassle. Despite this, my Dad expects to walk me down the aisle, and I know my stepdad will be hurt if I don't ask him. There's the option of course to ask my mum, but I frankly don't know if I want to ask any of them.

So I'm considering walking myself, could be an empowering move in this day in age. But don't want to look back and regret it, also don't want people to pitty me on the day

Would love to hear your thoughts

thanks!

I walked down the aisle with my husband - we came in together. My parents were dead and I didn't feel any of my surviving relatives were an appropriate substitute. Don't regret it all, it was completely perfect and felt much more true to our relationship which is a partnership.

You are a modern woman, you don’t need anybody to “give you away”. Walk yourself down that aisle!

Or do what @Ungulanta did - that is actually perfect!

I have a similar family set up.

DH and I walked in together. We felt quite strongly that this was something we were entering in to together.

Then my father had a hissy fit after the wedding that he’d been excluded, apparently missing that he’d been bloody lucky to be invited at all. There’s no guarantee that people will be happy with whatever you choose!

We did this too, it was perfect

I walked myself down the isle. My father hadn't been in my life for 20 years by that point but more importantly I'm not a possession to be given away.
My 9 year old niece was my bridesmaid but she was so nervous we walked in together which was lovely.

@Skyhu you are a 21st Century woman, do whatever fills your soul lovely.

You will not regret doing what feels right for you

I walked in arm in arm with my DH. We are in our 60s and don't have any surviving parents. It was just lovely x

Do you have close friends who will be bridesmaids? Could all just walk together?
If not, then alone or with your fiance sounds good. None of your parents seem to be suitable.

We walked in together, like @Ungulanta and @Leavey. I’m not owned so I wasn’t being ‘given away’ and it felt like we were walking towards the next stage of our relationship together.

On a side note. I did not see my walk with my father as being ‘given away’ it was just him supporting me and our last walk together before I was a married woman.

Walking down the aisle together is such a beautiful statement of partnership. I love this.

Being given away feels out of date now. Literally being ushered from your father’s household to your husband’s household. I always find it so absurd when the bride being given to her husband has actually been living with him for years on end already.

I walked down the aisle by myself. No backstory/issues with my family, our wedding wasn't overly traditional and it just felt right.

I walked in with my husband. No issues with family or anything like that - I didn't want to be given away...I'd been with my partner for over 15 years so it didn't make a lot of sense to be walked in to him! We also got ready together for the wedding. It just made sense for us.

I had my bridesmaids (2 best mates who were 33 same age as me) walk down first, then I followed with my young niece behind me. I didn’t want to be given away as I’m mine to give, no-one else’s. Have a great relationship with my parents, and my dad did a lovely speech.

It’s your wedding, do what YOU want. There really is no need to stick to tradition, and I honestly don’t think people are going to judge you for it.

Same as some previous posters me and DH walked down the aisle together. It was like our grand entrance moment as we had an evening wedding and cocktail party after which was black tie formal but not like a wedding reception per se. We didn’t do first dance or speeches or anything like that.

We walked in together. I was 39 with two kids, I would have felt very weird being 'given away' by my dad!

I also walked in with my husband, hand in hand. I think it was a lovely way to go together towards something so important. I do have a dad but didn't want him to 'give me away' anyway. It was a very special moment to walk in together.

I did! (My parents and godparents had already died before I married and DH wanted to wait at the altar.)

I followed the Canon. We basically waited in the porch until the end verse of the entrance hymn and then the two of us proceded down the aisle à deux (well, he went first and I followed a couple of metres behind). He was a wreck! He was so nervous and was in tears in the porch😂.

I have to say despite not being particularly close to my dad the few minutes alone before we walked into church together were special. But do whatever makes your day easy and happy. .

I walked myself down the aisle half way then my husband to be came and met me and walked me down the rest.

My father passed away a long time ago and there wasn't anybody else that I wanted to take his place. My husband to be meeting me halfway felt right, like you've come this far on your own but I'm here now to be by your side...right from the start.

My friend just got married last week. Her dad's no longer in her life so her now Dh waited at the top of the aisle for her and they walked down together. It was actually really lovely. Finally walk as fiancées down together and first walk back up as husband and wife.

I was going to walk myself down the aisle but at the very last second my dc (all grown up) asked to walk with me which I gladly accepted.

My SIL did, her Dad is no longer with us, she has no other male relatives she's close to and she thought about asking her mum but decided to just walk by herself.
Do what feels right for you

Walk together with your husband, that's how its done in my country, and how my parents did it in the UK a long time ago. Because both partners are equal, and neither is being "given away" to the other.