Unasking a bridesmaid?

[weddingxplanning2026]

I have recently found out that one of my bridesmaid has just booked to go to the same place we’re going for our honeymoon at the same time! For context she knew when and where we were going so wasn’t unaware of this when she booked the holiday. This has made me feel really odd and I really do not feel comfortable with this, there is nothing I can do about her going on this holiday at the same time but now I really don’t think I want her as a bridesmaid anymore. How should I approach this?

OP doesn't care, or there would have been a response: even seems all the more entitled by this absence. I suggest we stop wasting time on a question so nebulous that advice cannot be offered.

No, because its only you who has decided shes gatecrashing it and there's no way of knowing if thata the case.

Op hasn't even said if its the same country/city/hotel/resort.

It may only be the same country and the only time the bridesmaid can holiday. My cousin went to the same destination as her brother when he was on honeymoon and he never even knew, because her holiday wasn't about him.

For me this looks like clickbait

Someone was drunk early last night I think. Or wants this thread in the daily fail.

Is it a destination wedding and she’s taken the opportunity of a holiday while she’s already travelled, or are you getting married in Rotherham and she’s on your flight to the Maldives and booked adjoining rooms?
As others have said, context matters.

I do think this is weird and this would make me really uncomfortable. But this is based on the assumption she's going to be right there waving at you from across the pool. 🤣🤣 You need to provide more details before anyone can actually confirm whether you are/are not being unreasonable

It wasn’t last night - it was posted 5 days ago!

I’ll find my way to the pedant’s corner.

You physically cannot 'unask'... you alreadt asked, its a past action that cannot be undone.

You can drop her as a bridesmaid, be aware you'll likely be ending the friendship too though.

You could ask her why she booked a holiday there while you are on your honeymoon there?
Like others have said,no replies to the multiple requests for clarification on what "same place" actually means tour/cruise/hotel/town/city/ state/country/ continent and how popular it is as a holiday destination.
If I was a bridesmaid, I would not book a holiday to a bride's honeymoon location. I think it's weird.
When I was a bride, I would not object to a bridesmaid choosing the same destination at the same time as my honeymoon- even the same hotel/cruise. But I would only have family or close friends as bridesmaids and I would happily meet up with them on my honeymoon.

Details really matter before can judge this one.

Where is it? How big is the place?

Eg is it the same country or island - France? Sardinia? Bahamas?

Or the same resort in the same country? Same hotel? Will you inevitably bump into her during your holiday?

Exactly same dates or a small overlap? Will
you be on the same flight, trying to avoid her at the baggage carousel?

Context matters.
You could message
Dear bridesmaid
I've heard that you are planning to holiday at X on these dates, which, as you know, is where we are going on our honeymoon

We find it odd that, of all the places & times you can go on holiday, you have decided to go where we are honeymooning, at the same time as us.

To avoid any confusion or offence I'm going to say that this holiday is our time for just us, so we don't want to have drinks, or lunch, or dinner or spend the day with you at any time over the holiday. If we see you we'll say a polite hello & thats it.
Best wishes

Same country- no
Same area - maybe
Same hotel - yes

Disappointed it's been 5 days and no update from OP. I want the dirt!

I wonder if the op hasn’t come back with context because the honeymoon is in, say ‘Paris’ or ‘New Zealand’ and she doesn’t want to admit that.

Is it just me who doesn't see the issue here ?!
Two people going to same holiday place, what's the issue?! I'm guessing she's a good mate and wants to hangout with you one day.
Honeymoons are hardly what they once were. No doubt OP has lived with her partner for X amount of years etc etc it's just a holiday you go on after you get married.
I really really don't get the issue here. If you don't want to meet up with your mate whilst on holiday then don't. It's really no big deal!

The OP never returned - click bait

When did she book tjis holiday when did you book tjis honeymoon are you staying in same resort/hotel are you on the same flights

"I'm going to New York and she'll be in Las Vegas - I can't believe she'd go to North America when I'm there for my Honeymoon!" 😂

Unless your going to a desert island just try to avoid them. Do you own things, plan days out without them. To unask her to be a bridesmaid will make everything awkward, your relationship with her, the wedding assuming you'll still be inviting her to that, and the holiday whenever you do see them. It is an odd thing to do I must admit but just get on with it

Thread translation - my bridesmaid is thinner/prettier than me and I don't want my husband on my honeymoon seeing her on the beach/by the pool in a bikini and looking more attractive than me.

Weird. Def not bridezilla. Even if it was just a regular trip it would be odd behaviour