Unasking a bridesmaid?

[weddingxplanning2026]

I have recently found out that one of my bridesmaid has just booked to go to the same place we’re going for our honeymoon at the same time! For context she knew when and where we were going so wasn’t unaware of this when she booked the holiday. This has made me feel really odd and I really do not feel comfortable with this, there is nothing I can do about her going on this holiday at the same time but now I really don’t think I want her as a bridesmaid anymore. How should I approach this?

The same country? The same hotel?

By same place do you mean the same hotel? Or same country? You've not included enough detail.

Same hotel? Same country? Context is needed

I’d ask her why she’s coming on your honeymoon and say you think it’s a bit strange. If you haven’t bought the dresses etc can you ghost her and see if anything changes and if not I don’t know!
is she going with her own partner?

I wouldn’t be able to get worked up about this personally

If it’s the same hotel/resort I’d find this fucking weird and be very annoyed.

We need more context though OP - who is she, what’s your friendship like? This better not be a big drip feed about how she’s always been emotionally manipulative and nobody can say anything to her…

the same place we’re going for our honeymoon
New York or Lundy?

If you un-ask her she'll still be going on holiday to the same place as your honeymoon - which will probably be even more awkward.

It’s hardly going on the honeymoon if she’s just going to the same country or city but unless the OP comes back with any useful details it’s impossible to know 🤷‍♀️

Ghosting her is melodramatic 🤣

My MIL did this. Booked where we were going on honeymoon straight after our wedding. I had her friends come up to me at our wedding saying how it's such a coincidence that they didn't know we would be there too. Except that MIL did know, and booked it after I'd said where we were going. I spent the whole time looking over my shoulder and wish we'd just cancelled it and gone elsewhere. She was a doorstepper at home and never gave us any privacy, even insisted on meeting up with us on honeymoon.

My advice is that if she won't change the holiday then make sure you do as I still look back at our honeymoon and feel sad that we still weren't truly alone. You only have one honeymoon.

Depends is she going to Mexico and you are going too but won’t see each other as it’s massive. Or had she booked the same hotel as you?

I don’t think you need to unask her this seems a bit extreme. You must like her and unless there’s more of a back story??

Your lack of detail makes it difficult for people to contribute here.
Is he holiday booking as a single person?
Is she booked as part of a group?
Don't wind yourself up trying to second guess what's going on. Just ask her, no confrontation, just a normal conversation.

I don’t get why you are quite so upset

While I think it is odd it wouldn't bother me. More context is needed though.

Op hadn't been back so I guess it's a fake post.

Same hotel in Maldives...weird.

Happens to be in Paris, you are a Bridezilla

This seems like a bit of a non issue. If somebody is a good enough friend to be your bridesmaid and put themselves out to make your wedding special then I really can’t see why it would then be such a hardship if you then happened to see this very good friend again on your honeymoon. Which is if you’re even likely to see them in the first place, since you haven’t clarified whether it’s the same city or the same hotel.

Some of our friends joined us for part of our honeymoon and it was actually pretty nice, it never struck me as an imposition at all, let alone something to end a friendship over.

I'm here for OP's update with context. It definitely seems unusual behaviour to book the same place as the honeymoon couple though.

Yes this.

Completely changes whether it’s appropriate or not. Personally I wouldn’t have been upset by a friend being in the same hotel, but I understand it’s odd & others would not like it. But if it’s same town or city then OP is being bridezilla

That’s also an important question. If she’s been asked by other friends or family then would be really strange to expect everyone to change their plans because someone she knows is on honeymoon there.

If you stop her being a bridesmaid will she still be coming to the wedding?

I wouldn't do it on purpose but if it happened by accident, I would think that the bride would be very bridezilla to object. And if she did it on purpose I'd still see it as bridezilla. You can't tell someone where to spend their time or how to spend their money.

It's obviously jealousy because they want it to be a special honeymoon place and it's just a normal holiday for the other person.

If you want to ban people from your space you book a private villa. What difference does it make whether you know them or not, either people are around you or they aren't.

5 days later and no update from the OP - they must really be desperate for an answer

Same place as in same hotel/resort or same destination? How annoyed I would feel depends on this and if you are on same flights etc. If it's same hotel I'd change my dates and not tell her

Depends what you mean by same place. Is it a tiny island and has she booked the same hotel or is it a huge city where she is staying else where or is it just the same country?