Bridesmaids - what did you pay for?

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Mums - I'm struggling with bridesmaids and what you do and do not pay for...

What did you pay for?

Dresses?
Hair and make up?

I have 5 bridesmaids and paying for the above for them all is just prohibitive. Should I give them the option for paying for their own hair and make up if they want it?

How on earth do I broach this? I might be able to stretch to paying for dresses, (mostly as I'm hoping to get them all second hand)... though I'm not totally sure that'll be possible.

Thank you, from a mum with approximately 3 million tabs open in her head.

Paid for their outfits, all same colour but they choose their styles, one wore a jumpsuit, and we payed for footwear. I had 2 hairdressers and as they had different hair needs and 2 make up artists as again different needs i paid for these. Also paid for transport but they paid for own hotel rooms as they all wanted partners to stay and they sorted their transport out to get home. Brought them all a piece of jewellery but they all had a say in what it was. They also all kept their clothes and shoes after.

I paid for dresses, hair and make up. I also got them a gift. I said they could wear whatever shoes they wanted. I don’t think it’s fair to ask someone to be in your wedding party and put the cost of that on them.

I paid for dress and bouquets only.

However I didn't insist that they had hair/make up done by the person doing mine and said they could wear whatever shoes they liked.

I think if you insist on hair/make up/matching shoes you have to pay

If you're asking someone to be part of the 'spectacle'' of a wedding (ie on show, in the way bridesmaids are) then you need to pay for whatever that entails.

• Dress and shoes
• Hair and makeup (if they want them doing)
• Transport and accomodation (if needed)

Or you need to be super clear with them all that it is totally optional and they can decline the request to be BM with no hard feelings.

Everything except underwear and shoes.

It shouldn't cost more to be in the bridal party than to be a normal guest.

I have paid for my own dress when being a bridesmaid in the past however I have been told a colour and been allowed to choose my own style.

I think if you want a certain dress then it is something you need to provide.

Unless you allow them to wear a dress of their choice or one they already own then you need to pay for their dresses. Same with shoes. They can do their own make up and hair. I’ve been a bridesmaid where it was all paid for, because they had the money and wanted it just so. But I’ve also been a bridesmaid where only the dress was chosen and paid for by the bride (and groom or their parents) and the dresses were uncomfortable and not something I’d ever wear again, so I’m glad I didn’t have to pay for them!

You have to pay for the dresses if you are dictating what they wear. I paid for dresses and hair, mine already had shoes. We all did our own make up.

I only had two bridesmaids though.

I've only been a briidesmaid for my sister, she paid for the dress and hair. I paid for shoes and alterations to my dress which annoyed me as it wasn't cheap and she knew the dress didn't fit properly when she bought it.

Bride pays for anything you are dictating they have for the wedding.

So, in my case it was the dresses and the bouquets.

The dresses were long and I was happy with them wearing whatever shoes they wanted. I was happy for them to look like they usually look - no need for 'make up artists' or someone to come and do everyone's hair to match. Had I wanted them to be 'made up' by the same person, then I would have expected to pay for that.

I'm only having one bridesmaid/maid of honour but will pay for everything.

When I was a bridesmaid the only thing I paid for was my shoes & that's because I've got awkward feet, so it was just easier for me to shop for those myself.

Some people offer to pay for their own dresses but I wouldn't expect it.

You can’t afford all those bridesmaids.

I’ve been a bridesmaid 3 times never paid anything , I offered to pay makeup and hair twice but was declined , but shoes dress , jewellery always paid for .

can I suggest you cut the number ? I’m not having any , only my 2 daughters 3 and 9

I paid for dresses, shoes, hair and gifts for each of them. Make up was optional so they covered that themselves.

I paid for absolutely everything. Tan, toes, nails, shoes, hair, makeup, dress, jewellery.
For my MOH I also paid for her stay in the venue.
I think to ask them to pay for anything is a bit much.
Why do you have 5 if money is an issue?

I’ve been a bridesmaid 3 times.

First wedding years ago was in USA. So I had to pay for my dress, shoes, makeup and hair. But as there were 3 other bridesmaids we helped each other out. I was travelling from England to USA so that was another extra cost. Slight nightmare as I didn’t know about American beauty and hair salons but they were in Philadelphia and quite a few are there.

Second wedding early 30s, close friend, she paid for dress, hair and makeup and gave me a present of a necklace, I bought my own shoes. There were 2 other bridesmaids.

Third wedding, DB and SIL, I was 39 and she paid for dress, gave me a pashmina Nx a pretty hair decoration for my hair and bride was going to pay for hair and makeup but she had about 4 other bridesmaids and a flower girl so we just did our own in the end but I went to get my hair tonged and washed especially and I also got a professional manicure done.

This. IMHO you can't really expect the bridesmaids to pay for anything themselves, unless they've decided they want more expensive shoes, hairdo or whatever than is in your budget.

I had 4. I paid for their dresses, shoes, jewellery, nails, makeup, hair and accommodation in the hotel. You can't expect them to pay.

I paid for dress and hair. Bought the matching earrings as a gift.

They bought shoes and did their own make up

one friend very tight budget, dresses from monsoon outlet, £50 each and bridesmaids paid for everything. 2 other friends they paid for dresses and I paid for shoes (or wore what I had). Never had hair or make up done or paid for.

I was a bridesmaid recently and the dresses were from Shein, £30 each and looked great

I think the couple should always pay for whatever they are stipulating/mandating.

So if you are choosing the dresses and hairstyles and insisting on having makeup done then you pay for it all.

If you are only choosing the dresses but letting them have free rein on hair and makeup then you only pay for the dress and they make their own hair and make arrangements.

I paid for their dress+shoes. We didn’t have professional hair/make up people so that wasn’t a thing we had to think about.

I think the Bride should pay for dresses and shoes, as presumably she will chose what they wear it's unfair to make the bridesmaid wear for something they probably won't wear again. Regarding hair and make up if the Bride wants to choose the style then she should pay otherwise I think its fair to let them do their own.

I had my dress and bouquet paid for when I was bridesmaid. I bought my own shoes and didn't get my hair and makeup done with the other bridesmaids as it was over £100 and I couldn't afford it as I was on mat leave! So just did it myself