When to send save the date cards

[Carianne71]

Hi All, I would really love some advice please. I am getting married on the 4th July 2026 in Cornwall, we and the majority of the guests live in Essex. When should I send the save the date cards? I am thinking around February this year, but I am not sure. I am trying to take in to consideration that for some of our guests it’s a big financial commitment, also some guests may want to leave children at home and so need child care and also people may need to plan time off and family holiday time. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you x

Prepare for a low attendance. Anyone with kids is likely out as they cannot get time off school. The sheer distance and inconvenience.

St Ives is so beautiful and such a gorgeous place for a wedding. I'd love to have an excuse for a weekend there and people that love you will make it if they are able to. Not everyone can and that's part of the reality of a destination wedding.

Plenty of notice means people can get planning and think about hotels or renting houses. Most are 12 months in advance but you can find things available further ahead. I booked a hotel 15 months in advance recently.

I do agree that in real life people just aren't so grumpy and churlish about weddings.

Wow positive much, maybe you don’t have people in your life that care. It’s a weekend so nothing to do with kids getting time off. There are flights to Newquay you know

I'd need to get to Stansted. Flight approx £90 each. Two nights + accommodation for me and +1 +DC - depends on accommodation and how long for.

I'd get married somewhere local to friends and family. Family on my side likely to not be local so coach or minibus arranged. Nobody needs accommodation.
Much simpler.
Also far more likely to have good attendance and easier to only invite some to the daytime part and some to the evening part.

At least it's not Maui.

@Carianne71 I do think you need to be prepared that teachers/people with school age children might not make it because it will almost certainly need the Friday off work to get there comfortably.

That's not being negative, just realistic. It doesn't mean you shouldn't go ahead but just keep in mind if there's a person you really want there that might struggle.

I do have many thanks but I’m realistic.

I recently attended a wake in Cornwall and am very aware there are flights, but your guests are not going to be able to travel down on a Saturday and back on a Sunday with ease. And unless you’re having the wedding in the evening you’re going to have some very tired guests thanks to super early starts to get the early flight. The only way we could do it was to travel Friday, back Sunday and it was exhausting and not fun. And not just because it was a wake.

Ps there are no direct flights from stanstead, so they’re going from Gatwick. A 2 hour drive from Essex. Where they have to be at the crack of dawn… from Essex… I don’t think you’re being realistic in terms of cost or impact on your guests. It’s not about not having friends. It’s about understanding the position you’re putting them in. Sure, honeymoon there. Hen do. Whatever. But the wedding. Not fair.

by the time they’ve paid for flights, hotel, etc etc. well come on, you might have friends but are you a friend?

If you’re going to Stanstead you’re flying via Dublin.

A year ahead is fine. And don’t waste your money on cards; just send an email. Although I’d question why you’re not getting married near most of your guests…

Not just teachers/kids; others might not have or be willing to use annual leave on the Friday for travel time, then back home Sunday worn out & facing an entire work week ahead.

@LaurieStrode I think anyone else the bride and groom are close to will probably be able to plan some annual leave a year in advance. I'd make the effort.

And what about when you’ve got 3 friends marrying in the same year, and hen dos and stag dos to go along with that. Because that’s the other issue, when your friends start getting married you have 3-6 years of this and it’s relentless. We calculated one year that if we had gone alone with all the demands of couples getting married we would have spent £8000 in ONE year. It was insane.

By year 2 of weddings we had a rule - wedding either involved annual leave or travel. Not both. Wedding on a Friday, fine. Wedding on a Saturday requiring a day of travel and 2 overnight stays. Nope.

@AnneValentine don't go then, jeez! 😄

This is difficult and you’re using your heart and not your head. You need both. It’s 300+ miles away so either a 7 hour drive or the time and expense of flights (and if there isn’t a Stansted - Newquay flight it’s white a problem). Some guests might turn it into a proper holiday, but not if they’ve got kids or struggle with annual leave, and not if it means they can’t afford a holiday they’d choose themselves. Nice accommodation in Cornwall is eye wateringly expensive in summer.

I do understand your reasons, OP, and while I’m sure some people won’t mind, others definitely will even if they don’t say it to your face. I wouldn’t be overly thrilled to be honest and unless you were bestie status I’d decline.

Perhaps work out the likely minimum costs of travel and accom for two nights, based on this years prices, and decide whether you can reasonably expect everyone to pay that amount. Personally, I wouldn’t put that on my mates and would rather have a local wedding and a fabulous honeymoon there. Or how about a small wedding there and a big party back home?