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Original poster

When to send save the date cards

114 replies

Carianne71 · 02/01/2024 23:08

Hi All, I would really love some advice please. I am getting married on the 4th July 2026 in Cornwall, we and the majority of the guests live in Essex. When should I send the save the date cards? I am thinking around February this year, but I am not sure. I am trying to take in to consideration that for some of our guests it’s a big financial commitment, also some guests may want to leave children at home and so need child care and also people may need to plan time off and family holiday time. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you x

OP posts:
Outthedoor24 · 03/01/2024 07:11

No more than 12 months in advance. Any more than that people will forget about it.

It wouldn't be the first person who's sent StDs to friends for the friendship to change and drift.
Then they are in an awkward situation of having sent a StD they no longer want them at the wedding but that's bad etiquette not to follow up with an invite.

Don't send them to work colleagues. Wait and see how your numbers and finances are.

dancinginthewind · 03/01/2024 07:18

You may as well tell close family & friends who will definitely be invited now given you know what the date is. If we were going to a wedding in Cornwall in the summer, we may well try and make a holiday of it which would impact on where and when we holidayed not only in 2026 but also in 2025 and I might be thinking about 2025 holidays quite soon.
Mind you, I'd also be sceptical about a date that far in advance and whether you'll still be together or whether it will go ahead exactly as scheduled. This applies whether you're 24, 44 or 64. A lot can change in 2.5 years!

Justfinking · 03/01/2024 07:22

Outthedoor24 · 03/01/2024 07:11

No more than 12 months in advance. Any more than that people will forget about it.

It wouldn't be the first person who's sent StDs to friends for the friendship to change and drift.
Then they are in an awkward situation of having sent a StD they no longer want them at the wedding but that's bad etiquette not to follow up with an invite.

Don't send them to work colleagues. Wait and see how your numbers and finances are.

I think this is good advice, only send to family and close friends initially, some people may even RSVP that they can't come which will help you early on with numbers. Also regarding friends and colleagues, so much can change so definitely leave that late. I ended up leaving my job so all the people that I would've invited, I only invited a few and then a year after my wedding, I wasn't even close with those people.

ZenNudist · 03/01/2024 07:23

12 months in advance. Anything more and you will need to remind people. Even 12 Mon is a lot but given cornwall in july people will need more notice

BluJanuary · 03/01/2024 07:49

All our save the dates were sent <8months before the wedding. Mainly because we booked the wedding only 8 months in advance (my father was terminal so we were in a hurry).. there was nobody that couldn't come with this short notice.

DelurkingAJ · 03/01/2024 07:53

We sent them about 15 months ahead because we both have significant amounts of family in the US and South Africa. They all came for their family holidays that year. I agree that there were about three people we wished we hadn’t sent them to but as we had a wedding invitation list of about 180 it wasn’t a big deal!

MerryChristmasToYou · 03/01/2024 08:01

The wedding will be 300+ miles away from the majority of the guests and in a touristy area in peak season. Key people should be made aware in plenty of time.

itsgettingweird · 03/01/2024 08:03

I have one for a wedding in the middle of 2025!

The venue is absolutely miles away in a different country (but still on same mainland iyswim?)

I don't think it's too far in advance because those who can attend can plan AL etc in advance and this like me who can't (work in school!) can let them know well in advance so they don't plan assuming attendance.

MerryChristmasToYou · 03/01/2024 09:18

Is there a particular reason for getting married in Cornwall?
we and the majority of the guests live in Essex.
I'd probably not go because I'd need two night's accommodation, and about £100 for petrol.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 03/01/2024 09:22

I think for an August date, 18 months will allow people to book summer holidays around it. A year means that some people may have already booked a holiday.

I would not send STS cards. I'd just let my nearest and dearest know. As pp, traditionally wedding invitations were sent out about 3 months in advance, but in those days people were less busy and families more likely to live locally.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 03/01/2024 09:27

I would send them out anytime now as you've booked the date. Or at least tell the most important people the date, such as family, bridesmaids/bestmen etc, anyone who you would be very sad if they weren't there.

Everyone i know sends them out as soon as the date is booked, then formal invites 6 ish months in advance

lordloveadog · 03/01/2024 10:22

Tell family and friends straight away, send out cards 18 months in advance so people can plan around work and holidays and book accommodation.

Unless everyone involved actually lives in Cornwall, that is.

TheTripThatWasnt · 03/01/2024 10:28

It's 2.5 years away!! So much can and will change in that time. Make sure the essential people know (close family, long standing friends), but wait until you're sure of the guest list before adding anyone else.

It's not in school holidays, and no accommodation bookings will be open anyway (and a lot can change with those in well over 2 years too), so people can't actually do anything with the information other than add it to their mental load.

bettynutkins · 03/01/2024 11:02

I'd do July 2025. Anything over a year is crazy. So much can change and people will just forget.

Original poster
Carianne71 · 03/01/2024 11:17

Because it has sentimental meaning to me and we plan to move there the year after the wedding. Also you don’t have to drive, flights from Stansted to Newquay are very reasonable

OP posts:
MerryChristmasToYou · 03/01/2024 11:22

Ooh! Does that mean I'm invited? Smile
I'd tell key people but send the save the date nearer the time.

ChocolateTVandbaby · 03/01/2024 11:25

If it's just a save the date I would send them as soon as you like as the point is for guests to put the date in the calendar. Some people will be planning holidays for 2026 soon.

You would send invitations and expect RSVPs closer
to the time so I don't see why it's an issue to send STD now

Welshmonster · 03/01/2024 11:57

Send now as people may be thinking about holidays and stuff now so at least they have it in their calendar. Their circumstances might change as they may have a kid or move house etc but it’s in the calendar.
then when time comes for more formal invites it’s not a surprise and thinking I can’t go because I didn’t book time off.

MsSquiz · 03/01/2024 12:19

We got married on 1st July, sent the save the dates around 18 months before and sent invites 3 months before.

Those who want to save the date, will. Those who don't, won't.

Spaghettieis · 03/01/2024 12:25

If you are sure of the guest list and date I’d send the save the dates as soon as possible tbh. People are going to need to book accommodation and it’s good to have plenty of notice to save up for those who need to. 3 months is far too little notice, there won’t be any accommodation left and people won’t have spare annual leave. It’s useful to give at least a year’s notice because people’s leave allowances run for different periods. We got a save the date last year for a wedding this year and just stuck it on our fridge until we got the new calendar.

Easipeelerie · 03/01/2024 12:27

I don’t know but n my she sure not to send them to evening only guests unless that’s specified. I got a save the date for the wedding, bought a dress then got told I was evening only.

Notamum12345577 · 03/01/2024 12:29

PamelaParis · 02/01/2024 23:34

Where do you work that you can book time off two and a half YEARS in advance?!

OP send them a year in advance and that will be plenty time.

Show quote history

I could book it off at my place 2.5 years in advance, it would get granted as long as no one else has, but I would definitely get laughed at by my manager for doing it 🤣🤣

vickylou78 · 03/01/2024 12:29

I'd say no sooner than 12 months before. Don't send to evening only guests.

Filthyslattern · 03/01/2024 12:30

Top tip
Get married in Essex
Every single guest will thank you for it

Cornwall is an absolute ballache to get to
Accommodation is limited and expensive

Unless you want people to refuse the invitation, get married in essex

SweetPetrichor · 03/01/2024 12:32

We are about to send ours out - we are getting married in July. We booked the venue in December so we’re basically sending them out immediately…we’re just not having something fancy. There will be no issue for folk to get accommodation and it’s only immediate family.
Conversely, when SIL got married last year, they sent save the dates around 12 months ahead of the date. This was handy as it was a more touristy rural setting so booking accommodation early was handy.
I think it’s just common sense for what works for you and the location you’ve chosen.

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