When to send save the date cards

[Carianne71]

Hi All, I would really love some advice please. I am getting married on the 4th July 2026 in Cornwall, we and the majority of the guests live in Essex. When should I send the save the date cards? I am thinking around February this year, but I am not sure. I am trying to take in to consideration that for some of our guests it’s a big financial commitment, also some guests may want to leave children at home and so need child care and also people may need to plan time off and family holiday time. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you x

I'd give 12 months notice, max 18 months. You can't book leave any further ahead and usually can't book accommodation either.

A year to nine months before is fine because it’s the same country. Then about three months before for the invitations. If it’s any earlier than that, people will just forget. Remember some hotels don’t allow you to book more than a year in advance.

We did it 12 months as we were getting married at Christmas. If it had been any other time of the year I may not have bothered and just gone straight to invites.

Save the dates a year in advance maximum

I would send them as early as possible. It’s not only about booking time off work, people need to book a hotel and plan their lives. I have all holiday’s for this year booked already, and a rought idea of what we’re doing next year. If someone invited me to a wedding in 6 months time which involved traveling I probably wouldn’t be able to attend as the time is reserved and holiday money is spent. If you know the dates and want them there I would let them know so they can prioritze your wedding.

Yup. I really resent being asked to spend a fortune / use up valuable time off / being told where to spend said valuable time, just because someone gets married. I suspect a lot more people will feel the same. Unless you pay for a very big house for guests to stay at.

Sending them over 2 years I advance is crazy. July 2025 is plenty time. A year's notice, time for saving if necessary & booking time off work if necessary & marked in next year's diary

People who know me and care enough will attend because they know what my dad died when I was 25 and we were due to move there when he got his cancer diagnosis. Suffered for 2 years and spent a lot of time in Cornwall recovering from some horrible operations

Ah, right. Sorry for your loss.

I would say around a year for people who you really want there (I'm guessing you have told close family unofficially anyway) any more and you realise so confusing people plus no way can I commit 18 months ahead, anything could happen

Risk confusing! Auto correct

I would not send save the dates to evening only guests unless you indicate evening only on it, I've been sent a save the date a year or more ahead only to find out 10 weeks beforehand it's evening only and not allowed to even attend the ceremony, I would not travel for that

Only ever send STDs to that subset of guests whose absence would be very keenly felt.

Chances are, you're speaking to them frequently, so just tell them. Starting next time you're going to be in touch anyhow.

Then perhaps you don't need the additional expense of an actual STD at all. But if you like the idea, then a year in advance (at which point you could expand the list a bit to those who you really want there and who you know might have complicated arrangements (18 months if international travel is required).

Never for those that you are not inviting to the wedding (ie evening guests).

There are the various etiquettes and advantages / pitfalls mentioned above about save the date etc ……. But that doesn’t mean that some form of notice can’t be given in advance at various lengths of time.

For my nephew I received an electronic save the date via ‘paperless post’
(I don’t know what the costs are as the sign up page says you can ‘send your first few invitations for free’)

https://www.paperlesspost.com/flyer?utm_content=logo&utm_source=cof&utm_medium=email

It has saved paper & postage costs (but I can forsee them doing more physical ones / invites later, or perhaps they will stick to electronic ones)

Clear benefits up front are that:

The date is out, (I was able to click a link to add to my phones calendar, but I also run a planner list of dates so I was able to add in the slot with plenty of notice)

It had a response button and some questions such as intending to attend, dietary issues, transport planning - and I can still go back and change the responses

I can take as much notice as I like of the advance notice - ensuring I don’t conflict anything and can plan anything, or ignore it for now

I would expect that with a long term advance date that it’s worth adding an interim update reminder and actual invitations at a later date

Save The Dates need to be useful and practical.
I love the ones with a sticky magnet tape on the back.

I would send them fourteen months out for a Summer holiday destination because many hotels take bookings one year in advance. Include facts that are imperitive like the time of the wedding, the venues, whether there will be a function the day after, whether there will be a private bus from XX spot, whether children are included and whether you are hoping that the guest will perform a special role.(requiring them to arrive the day before etc)

Guests won't want to phone you to ask specifics needed for booking their accommodation etc..

2.5 years beforehand is crazy early. I get that you are excited but that's very OTT. Nobody is going to be able to book anything that early anyway and so much will change; babies will be born, relationships will end and new ones begin, jobs will be lost, people will move away etc. Send the save the date (or STD as precious poster said:)) a year ahead.

For people saying, it's not like it's abroad! Have you ever tried to book affordable accomodation in Cornwall

People were having to book in October 2022 for new year's Eve 2023¡

I'd suggest a different county!

I’m getting married in Spain in September 2025 (live in the UK and so do most guests). Sending out save the dates in March so 18 months before then invites 12 months before. If yours isn’t until mid 2026 I would hold off

I would let people know now (verbally or electronically) and send save-the-dates 18-12 months before the date.

It's July in a touristy area. Some people book their summer holidays more than a year ahead. I sent save the dates 12 months ahead but some relatives had already booked a holiday for the following year so couldn't come.

I would only send them to people you would be very upset not to have attend.
So probably 1/3 to 1/2 maximum of the guest list, at most.
A save the date is a pre-invite, it would be extremely rude to then not invite, but you may find finances dictate fewer guests as time progresses.

To be honest though, I think if the majority of guests live in Essex you'd be better off marrying there and then honeymooning in Cornwall. Or if Cornwall is more important, and I can see why that might be, just going for a small wedding and a party later in Essex.

I'd say 18 months is good. yes normally 3-6 months is fine, but not if you are getting married in a prime holiday destination in prime holiday time, lots of accommodation will be booking up a year ahead at least. Especially cottages if people are coming as a family and want your wedding to be a day of a British seaside holiday.

If the majority of guests live in Essex, why not have the wedding there???

Yup. I really resent being asked to spend a fortune / use up valuable time off / being told where to spend said valuable time, just because someone gets married. I suspect a lot more people will feel the same. Unless you pay for a very big house for guests to stay at.

Same here.
Either have a small private wedding in Cornwall or be considerate of your larger guests list, and have it in Essex. Go to the sentimental spot on honeymoon.

The following day you'll be just as married either way, but one doesn't cost your friends a fortune plus annual leave.

We didn't do save the dates, we just sent the full invitations about 7 months before. You've got time to get all the info finalised and the invitations complete so may as well do that and save yourself having to send two things.

3 months?!? That's way too late. I have to book people about 3-4 months ahead just to meet for lunch!!

If people need to travel, book hotels, arrange pet and childcare and arrange holiday from work they'll need much more notice. Plus they'll already have organised their year's annual leave/holidays etc well before then. I say 12-18 months for a save the date, closer to 18 months if they need to travel. Actual invites I'd send 3-6 months ahead, perhaps earlier if it will contain hotel information.

Why on earth would you do that? So rude. Someone is letting you know that you will be invited in due course and to hold the date. So just hold the date?!? Stick it in your phone calendar and book annual leave when your leave opens. The inviter doesn't know how everyone's annual leave works. It's done differently at every place of work.