When to send save the date cards

[Carianne71]

Hi All, I would really love some advice please. I am getting married on the 4th July 2026 in Cornwall, we and the majority of the guests live in Essex. When should I send the save the date cards? I am thinking around February this year, but I am not sure. I am trying to take in to consideration that for some of our guests it’s a big financial commitment, also some guests may want to leave children at home and so need child care and also people may need to plan time off and family holiday time. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you x

OP I just did my save the date (it was NYE, so needed to let people know), via email to save costs

Many of us don't want to be trapped into a commitment a year and a half in advance. Something might come up in the interim, or our interest levels in the wedding may wax or wane, etc. It's really self-absorbed to think that anyone outside of immediate family and the wedding party want to revolve their annual leave plans and finances around one's wedding.

Thank you to everyone who went to the effort to reply about the actual subject in my OP for the rest of you who just wanted to tear my wedding destination apart and call me self absorbed or inconsiderate. I really hope you are ok? you seem very angry and bitter, maybe someone to talk to maybe a good idea. Kindness really does cost nothing but also makes you happy.

No one is tearing your destination apart, but wouldn't you rather be aware of what most people likely are thinking? It's not just Mumsnet users who get fed up at the time, expense and effort involved in attending a long-distance wedding, especially when it would be more convenient for the vast majority of participants if it were held locally.

Good luck in your planning. I'd give people a year's notice if you are expecting them to budget money, annual leave and other matters for a multi-day event.

@Carianne71 , that's because we made plans and got dumped on and the nuptials never happened.

2.5 years in advance is far too long. Mention it in passing as and when you see people, and send the official cards out this time next year (or slightly later).

3 months is no time at all! my dd didnt do STD but sent out invitations 8ish months before

An initial message and say we will be sending the formal invitations on... a reminder inbetween? X

I got married in Cornwall op, also live in Essex. We had 60 guests attend and everyone said it was a fab wedding. Ignore the pp saying don"t get married there - go with your heart, everyone important will be there.
Can l be nosey and ask where your venue is??

Sorry forgot to say, only booked the wedding 8 months beforehand so didn't do save the dates, just sent invites out as soon as it was confirmed.

Aww that’s lovely to hear, we are booked in the St Ives Harbour Hotel. Thank you for your message, I hope you had a lovely wedding x

How lovely - lots of accommodation in St lves/Carbis Bay, even the Premier lnn in Hayle.
Hope all goes well xx

The sooner the better, good cornwall accommodation gets booked up early.

Im not sure who some of you are inviting to your weddings but if she sends them early people will not forget about it?? I would be happy to receive something with lots of notice and have every local accommodation available to choose from. PS Cornwall is such a lovely choice of destination - congratulations x

I’d send “save the date” emails as soon as I booked the date, but wouldn’t bother with cards tbh. If I was invited, I’d appreciate as much heads up as possible.
In addition, if you decide that you want child free, I’d make it clear from the offset. With the destination in mind, I suspect there will be quite a few who will tie it in with their family holiday.

Congratulations btw 🍾🍾🍾🍾

I'd send a save a date middle of this year. Then a reminder middle of the following year. The problem you'll have is a lot can change before that time - relationship breakdowns, new babies, new jobs etc. People may commit now but pull out nearer the time. So I'd send two.

Disagree so much with this. Most people in RL actually love a wedding, especially a destination one, it makes it more fun. The only people who don't are miserable people on here who despise wedding invitations, hate their colleagues and wont open their door if someone knocks! I think the only people it's inconvenient for is if you have very young children, but even then you can make a holiday out of it

3 months is for the invite. Save the date I'd do 12 months in advance

Just realised it's going to be a summer wedding in Cornwall! I'd start putting feelers out to see how many people would actually want to go it will cost a bomb!

Send 1 year ahead. So in summer 2025. Most AirBnB type accommodation won't accept bookings over a year in advance anyway. Any longer than a year and I would take no notice of your save the date.

I had an abroad wedding and skipped saved the dates completely and did proper invitations a year in advance. Majority of people knew verbally the date beforehand anyway.

I don't view save the dates as needing commitment.
I view them the other way around. If you definitely won't be going then you let them know, otherwise it is just a heads up.

That is absolutely not the rule. That’s too late for a wedding invite let alone a save the date.