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Original poster

How do you make sure it’s a good party?

95 replies

weddingwaiting · 15/09/2023 12:25

Thinking about what makes a wedding a good party today.

Went to a wedding last year that was just a really good party, everyone had a great time and was up for a laugh. Went to a wedding recently however where the vibes were just…off? Perfectly fine wedding but not a party atmosphere.

FH and I are really keen for our wedding to just be a really good party and this recent wedding has got him worried.

How do you get the party atmosphere going?

Things we are doing:

  • starting later in the day so hopefully guests won’t run out of steam
  • venue with bar in dance floor area, not separate
  • not a cash bar - we haven’t decided if it will be totally open or not yet but we will certainly stick a grand or two behind there to get the party started.

FH is really worried about the music - we have been to two weddings recently where the DJ doesn’t seem to have changed his playlist in the last 20 years so will be trying to head that off at the pass.

What else?

OP posts:
Sarahr303 · 15/09/2023 12:50

Good music. We had an amazing band that did house music but it was a real mix of dance tunes from across the past few decades so suited lots of people. The guests loved it and the dance floor was never empty.

Positive41 · 15/09/2023 13:12

Seating- sit people that like each/would get on well together

Playlist-so important imo. Have a youtube playlist and add songs to your playlist and send it to the DJ. Ask your guests for 1 favourite song each and factor that in. Music makes or breaks a party for sure. Have a look at playlists for the 'most popular party songs'. Don't just have one type of music style ie just pop. Mix it up. If you have foreign guests, find out popular songs from their country and play one or two. They will love it.

Drinks-keep them flowing!

Inclusive- greet everyone personally and get them involved. Guests will feel special too on your big day and this really will be remembered.

woodyscowboyhat · 15/09/2023 13:14

Have you already sent the invites? Ask guests to RSVP with one song they'd like to play and create a playlist from that

shivawn · 15/09/2023 13:16

It's the guests that make the party honestly, you can help things along with a great band etc but if most of the guests aren't the type to get up and dance, mingle and have a great time then you won't get the party atmosphere.

I can normally guess before a wedding how much fun it'll be based on the family and friends of the bride and groom.

Legomania · 15/09/2023 13:20

Both type and volume of music sets the tone: I went to a wedding with a really loud jazz band once - the music was too loud to talk and not something people wanted to dance to so everyone just hung around outside

nicknamehelp · 15/09/2023 13:27

Enjoy it yourselves and don't get too bogged down on day on everything going to plan, helps people feel relaxed. Have a great floor filler dance list with decent band/DJ.

HeldAtHunPoint · 15/09/2023 13:28

The bride and groom need to be up on the dancefloor as much as possible.

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 15/09/2023 13:58

@shivawn interesting one! I do wonder if that contributed so some of the issues we saw at the not-so-party wedding we went to - some of the guests just didn’t seem that excited to be there 😔

My family are always up for a boogie and a laugh and we have invited some definitely fun people. My stb in laws are a bit more mixed but FIL definitely game for a drink and a laugh

OP posts:
Original poster
weddingwaiting · 15/09/2023 13:58

@HeldAtHunPoint we will definitely be!

OP posts:
PinkRoses1245 · 15/09/2023 14:05

Honestly, a band. The best weddings I've been to have had a band, it was a non negotiable for ours. And stay on the dancefloor yourselves as much as you can.

MidnightOnceMore · 15/09/2023 14:07

Band, good buffet, cheap bar, friendly venue.

I disagree about a pay bar, they're fine. In fact weddings where people aren't wasted can be better.

shakeitoffsis · 15/09/2023 14:11

I had strict info to the dj of no Casper slides, macarenas etc. I also had a saxophonist which really got the party started, the Dancefloor was full all night. Also told my bridesmaids and ushers they were to ensure it was full haha.

faban · 15/09/2023 14:14

We gave our DJ a list of songs we wanted and songs he couldn't play. Need slot of food! Great you're putting money behind the bar!

Magicmagician · 15/09/2023 14:16

To add to the ones above, I’d say try not to book a venue with lots of small separate rooms, people will all disperse and you won’t get the atmosphere.

Avatartar · 15/09/2023 14:23

Make sure you have food for 9-10pm- loads of carbs

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 15/09/2023 15:25

@MidnightOnceMore i don’t think paying for some drinks is a problem but I do think a fully cash bar can make people reserved and less likely to participate, especially if it’s expensive. I reckon £1k will get our guests 3-4 drinks each plus the wine with dinner which should be a decent amount of social lubricant!

OP posts:
Newgirls · 15/09/2023 15:28

Both bride and groom on the dance floor most of the time. If you are chatting outside or at bar the guests will follow you

Yorkshiredolls · 15/09/2023 15:58

IMO a band is money well spent, always sets the party off and they know what to get people dancing to. If its a case of budget, as long as they had some fizz or wine earlier and the bar prices are reasonable id let people buy their own drinks and put your money on a band rather than bar.

We had our band do two hour long sets and we made an ipod playlist of handpicked party tracks, played through the bands PA system between the bands sets so it look like this :
7-8pm first dance followed by band set 1 hour,
8-9pm ipod playlist 1hr,
9-10pm Band 2nd set
10-11pm ipod playlist

we handpicked tracks that were lots of our guests favourite songs and we knew lots of our guests would love, it was my favourite part of planning and went down storm. A proper party atmosphere.

CMOTDibbler · 15/09/2023 16:01

The wedding I have been to where the biggest range of people were up and dancing for ages was where they had a Blues Brothers/Commitments tribute band.

TheFlis · 15/09/2023 16:05

Set the tone so that guests know the kind of party you are anticipating. We had a free bar, good sized dance floor, an amazing band and DJ and (classy) disco lighting that differentiated the evening from the day. Oh, and loads of glow sticks! Everyone instantly knew we were planning some full on dancing and fun so they could let their hair down, not auntie June sedately swaying to Rod Stewart.

Ibizafun · 15/09/2023 16:05

All about the people and the music.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 15/09/2023 16:14

As PP have said, a wide range of music. Make sure there is ample seating and a chance to get away from the noise of the music for those who want to chat catch up.

Also make sure the bar has enough staff, you annoy peope if they have to wait ages to be served. Also hungry guests get grumpy and leave to get food, make sure they are well fed!

readingmakesmehappy · 15/09/2023 17:22

Plenty of good non alcoholic options for the teetotallers/drivers/pregnant women/alcoholics that aren't shit cheap orange juice.
No long wait for food when you arrive.

Pineapplemonkey · 15/09/2023 17:35

I went to a wedding (constant full dance floor) where there were baskets of flip flops for people to wear/keep in case people's feet's were hurting from heels. I definitely wore them, was a great idea

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 15/09/2023 18:32

Give everyone enough food, drink and music to keep them going. If you can't afford to, invite fewer people. Save money on things like chair covers and tiny nibbles, no one cares.

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