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Original poster

Vow renewals - your thoughts.

82 replies

AlmostThere2023 · 25/04/2023 09:04

DH and I have been together 22 years this year, married for almost 13. We had a lovely wedding and have since had DC.

We are approaching our 40s and have chatted about a vow renewal. We’re not party/big bash people so do not want to throw ourselves a second wedding. In all honesty, we’d probably want to fly off somewhere with DC and possibly DP/DSs only if they wanted to come and do something small.

Have you done a vow renewal? If so, what did you do?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 10:44

"We’ve actually been together for 22 years though."

Wait a little while and have a fabulous Silver Wedding party.

thuytien · 25/04/2023 11:26

Do privately and do it every year on the anniversary / birthday / Valentines Day etc

Or better still do it everyday. It only takes a few seconds.

Hbh17 · 25/04/2023 11:32

Vows are for life, so no renewal needed. If you want to "celebrate your marriage", just book a nice holiday!

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 25/04/2023 11:49

You don't need to pay to renew or reaffirm your vows to celebrate your marriage though.

Why not just book a nice holiday somewhere and enjoy each others company?

UsingChangeofName · 30/04/2023 17:01

EmmaGrundyForPM · 25/04/2023 09:24

People can have happy marriages and still love one another after all this time together.

Of course they can. DH and I have been together for 30 years, very happily still married and love each other. We made vows to each other 29 years ago, and those vows still hold true. Which is why we don't need to renew them.

You asked for people's thoughts on vow renewals, and you've been given them. Most people think that it's because of an affair. Sorry if you don't like that answer, but you asked.

This.

Oh right. Well, in response to the idea you apparently meant to ask for thoughts on, “should I take my kids on holiday in three years time and invite other relatives on a no obligation basis, and have a private, unwitnessed romantic conversation with my husband while we’re there?” then yes, sounds marvellous. Enjoy.

Also this.
If you are actually asking if, on a holiday you might book, somewhere between 13 and 16 years after you got married, is it okay if you and your dh take 5mins out to repeat the promises you made to each other at your wedding then knock yourselves out. Why would you need to ask anyone this?

Of course, all the replies to your OP will have assumed a public ceremony of some sort - otherwise, why would you be asking?
Of course, plenty of us have happy marriages a lot longer than 13 or 16 years into them. Some people like to celebrate that fact, as they know others aren't so lucky, and they not only appreciate that fact, but they actually want a get together with friends and family, and this is a traditional hook to hang that on to. Others don't. Either is fine. But if you have made a promise about how you are going to love one another and look after each other come what may until the day one of you dies, then it seems strange to make a "thing" of saying it again and inviting people to witness it.

flipflopmopatop · 05/06/2023 12:56

Personally I see vow renewal as a a special thing, doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong, some people want to celebrate again.

We were considering the idea at the 10 year mark of marriage (longer not married), because we didn't really get to enjoy our wedding day. There was also some drama, alongside the Beast from the East which made things difficult 🤷

Mrgwl29 · 03/09/2023 16:57

I think it can be a lovely thing to do privately, if that's what you want. It's between you two and if it's just a small thing to mark your marriage just do it.

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