Time of ceremony?

[CatchingBabies]

We really wanted a 1pm ceremony as our venue suggested that as the best time to make sure there is no long gaps in the day and prevent people being bored etc.

Problem is for our chosen date, and in fact every Saturday in our chosen month the 1pm or 2pm registrar slot isn’t available so we have a choice of 12pm or 3pm.

The venue thinks 3pm will be too rushed as we are having sit down meal, canapés and drinks reception etc. before the evening but will 12pm be too early also?

Not much option for changing the month as prices go up considerably for our venue a month later and the month before some of our bridal party are out of the country.

Did anyone have a 12pm civil ceremony and did the timings work ok?

What are your guest numbers and what amount of staff are the venue providing?

I married at twelve and had a relaxed day. What are you firting in? Sounds like lots of speeches are planned. Cut the speeches out down to ten minutes each. Nobody needs to hear people who aren't good at public speaking waffling on for half an hour plus. Saved you hours there.

Definitely combine the times for photos and canapés. Can you have a starter that’s already on the table when people sit down to cut the time allowed for food? And if you work on minimal time for speeches everyone will be pleased.

It sounds like the venue are skimping on staff.

Turnaround should never t take that long, and service definitely shouidn't.

But if you're locked in to those standards, I would overlap the drinks/canapés/photographs, saving an hour.

You can warn people coming from a distance that dinner will be sit down 4:30 to eat at 5ish (which is quite early for dinner but not outrageously so)

Up from the table at 7:30, and evening guests arrive then (say 8 for 8:30 to spread the arrivals a bit, and that should be late enough for people to know to eat beforehand) and they can mingle with day guests wherever they are mingling in the half hour the main room is inaccessible.

Then everyone goes back in and carries on at 8:30

Not possible to invite everyone to the whole day, I have an enormous family and we just couldn’t afford it. There will be 60 in the daytime and 140 in the evening (maybe more depending on who is bringing children and +1s).

No idea how many staff they are providing but it’s a 4 course meal and then tea and coffee at the end. The timelines posted leaving 1 hour for the meal is impossible. Even if they served the next course the second you finished the one before I couldn’t physically eat 4 courses in 1 hour.

There are only 2 speeches, I’m guessing around 10 minutes each MAX. They have been told to keep it short as I hate long boring speeches.

The photographer said to allow some time for group photos when people are not eating or drinking as we want some group photos so that why I wasn’t putting them at the same time as the canapés.

It’s also really important to us both to have time to greet our guests and speak to thank them as many are coming a long distance.

We have a photo booth booked for the daytime so want to allow people time to go to that also and not be rushed.

1 or 2 pm would have been perfect!

An hour for turnaround? We've never taken more than 40 minutes.
Is your ceremony in the same room as your wedding breakfast?

You only need 15 mins for big group photos before canapés and drinks arrive. Rest of group photos can take place during. Certainly not a whole separate hour.

Absolutely run the drinks & canapés in parallel with the photos.

Anything else is unthinkable.

That's why I suggested the three hours you mentioned - from 4:30 to 7:30.

Room is turned round in the canapés and photographs hour - unless of course they are skimping on staff so much that they cannot do those things concurrently.

People can briefly put down their drinks/canapés for when they are being photographed.

They can use the photo booth, and you can talk to guests, in the hour between 7:30 and 8:30, because you need something to do whilst the room is being turned round.

If people are travelling a long way then a 12pm service is going to mean they will have been up a long time.

We got married at 3pm and was great although we had everyone to everything and also had a marquee in our garden which made things easier. Got married in church and got back to house about 4. Had afternoon tea style canapés and mingling and photos followed by speeches and hot buffet about 6pm. Cutting cake and then first dance around 8. Think it all ended about 1am (we left about midnight to a hotel nearby).
Your venue does seem quite inflexible and also slow.

Ceremony, wedding breakfast and evening reception all in same room yes.

So 3pm ceremony
3.30 - 5.00 canapés, drinks and photos
5.00 - 5.30 get guests seated for meal
5.30 - 7.30 / 8.00 meal
8.00 - 9.00 drinks / photo booth / room turnaround
9.00 - evening guests arrive

Is 9pm too late for evening guests though?

Yes. I think 9 is too late.

Surely the venue should be accommodating your timings. I'm sure they're being paid handsomely for their service. I would contact the wedding planner to thrash the order/timings that you want.

So do I. I can’t see how it can work for a 3pm ceremony. I’m so disappointed that we can’t have 1 or 2 pm. It’s 14 months in advance and not a single 1 or 2 pm slot on a Saturday in the whole of May left!

The venue is accomadating the timings. They say 3pm will be too rushed and I agree with them when working it all out. They agreed that 12 was early and that 1-2 is perfect but were are limited.

Depends on the weather also. We had 12 and was fine, very positive feedback about the whole day. But we had beautiful summer weather, people were happy to sit outside drinking whilst we did photos etc. Might have been different if everyone was stuck indoors! Also had plenty of drinks and canapés as I hate going hungry at weddings!! And we made it clear on our invite to eat a big breakfast as our meal was at 5/6 if I remember rightly...

People can put down their canapés and drinks for photos. Also, have the speeches before dinner. That way the speech givers can relax and enjoy their meal. It shouldn't take any venue longer that 30-40 mine to turn the room around for the reception.

Have you thought about another type of celebrant, eg humanist, rather than a registrar?

If you are certain that you want this venue on this date, would you consider having the registry office bit on the Tuesday afternoon week of the wedding and then have an ‘unofficial’ registrar perform the ceremony at 2pm?

If people are travelling 4hrs really they’d need to stay overnight in a hotel the night before the wedding, or do you really mean to ask people to leave their homes at 7:30am in their finery??

I am hoping most guests stay the night before to save travelling / arriving late as these people have form for this but I can’t make them stay either. We have got the whole hotel for exclusive use so plenty of rooms.

How much are the rooms and how many do you have to fill?

Are you expecting them to pay for a hotel room for two nights?

An hour and half for drinks and photo? Glad I'm not going to that wedding. It's crap waiting around and everybody always grumbles.

Why can't it be:

3pm ceremony
3.30 - 4.30 canapés, drinks and photos
4.30 - 5.00 get guests seated for meal
5.00 - 7.30 meal
7.30 - 8.15 drinks / photo booth / room turnaround
8.15 - evening guests arrive

Although as a day guest I'd prefer 12pm ceremony, 3pm meal, second evening meal (more of a buffet/food truck type thing). If you have the budget I'd do the 12pm ceremony option and make sure guests are well canaped and watered, linger over the 4-course meal, provide plentiful hot food in the evening too.

The rooms are £85 each per night (discounted due the wedding). Guests are paying for their own rooms but I’m not “expecting” anyone to stay or pay for anything. When coming from so far it obviously makes more sense to stay the night before but I’m not forcing them, it’s up to them what they do! They don’t have to come, it’s not a summons.

We need to take 10 rooms to have exclusive use, we’ve already got 14 taken just by the bridal party and parents so it doesn’t affect us at all if people choose to stay or not.

@burritofan Guests will be VERY well fed and watered. The meal is 4 courses, there is substantial canapés before, a hot evening buffet with loads of options and plenty of wine, champagne etc. flowing. As a guest what would make you prefer 12 ceremony to 3?

I’m really leaning towards the 12 ceremony as I can’t think of anything worse than making people rush their food and I don’t believe that anyone can eat 4 courses, plus wine, plus tea and coffee in 1.5-2 hours like people are suggesting!