Wedding dos and don'ts

[littlemissM92]

I know it's everyone's personal preference but I was wondering if it would all be so kind as to answer me a few questions..

1 what was your best bit about the day/night the thing you are so pleased you bought/hired/did etc

2 the thing you wish you hadn't done / bought invited someone you didn't really want too ( family pressure)

3 if you could have your day again what would you change or have no fast forwarding

Muchly appreciated !! X

Bump

Anyone?

1. Best things we did was hire a venue which we could provide our own booze at. Meant we could have an open bar without it costing the earth (most of the booze was from Aldi and we got the caterer to bring some extra staff to man the bar)
2. I had my mum insist that I invited my uncle who I never see. I did refuse and don't regret it. I would have thought more carefully about the seating of my DH aunt though as she was (very vocally) put out about where she sat and it has caused a little friction between us.
3. I wouldn't change a thing. I would say make sure you take some time to be together alone. One of the best things we did was during the meal we went to each table to talk to them, it meant I didn't feel guilty all night for not speaking to ppl as we had made sure to say hello to everyone throughout the day.

We paid out for a photographer we absolutely loved. I felt a. It detached on the day, probably overwhelmed, but when I saw the photos I became an absolute mess! They have stayed with me!

I refused my mothers offer of paying to have a video- it was a small venue and I thought it would be intrusive. Never regretted it. The day was really relaxed.

Smarshian love that advise and we having 45 mins between service and venue to drive upto where we were both brought up and lived until very recently to have photos of just us in our favourite spot I'm dreading the invite situation there are a couple people not being invited that I know ther people will pipe up about but bugger them!

Bump

Inloved all of it. Glad we got such a good deal on the food and drinks package. People still talk about it most about the day. Was a paid bar in the evening but everyone was well fed and watered earlier on the day. Also had lots of children so bought a massive box of lego and split it into bags on the table they had something to do during speeches. Hired a kids entertainer for after the meal. Actually estimated for just before the end of the meal this allowed the parents to relax and finish in peace right at the point the kids were all starting to get fed up.

Not much I wish we hadn't done really. We never bothered about a lot of extra frills like seat covers etc. And didn't miss them.

I feel the opposite to Nishky about having a video. I didn't because of cost and really wish I had. The day goes by so fast it's a blur. I also remember laughing lots during the ceremony, the minister was fabulous. Wish I could remember what was so funny. I tried to talk to everyone but still feel I didn't do enough. But all in all we had a fab day.

We got married at 4 in a hotel & went straight into the evening do after the reception. That would have been fine but there were quite a few of my parents' friends there in the evening plus some of our daytime guests were older so the disco was wasted really. With hindsight, we should have had the reception which went on until about 7.30 then just done our own thing. My DH & I often say we could have gone for another hotel as the cost was nowhere near as high as my DM thought it would be. We had a video & it's just lovely to be able to watch it, especially as a few people who came are sadly no longer with us. We had a line up before the meal & it took bloody ages so wouldn't bother with that! It was nice to get family involved in the wedding - for example, my sis in law did my make up & my brother in law baked our cake (designed by DH). DH made the namecards too. If BHS online sells wedding shoes, I highly recommend them. Mine were some of the most comfortable shoes I have ever worn & were extremely reasonable.

Mine was a long time ago now, before the wedding industry started trying to suggest lots of expensive and unnecessary extras.

If you are boggin off for some photos in between the service and Reception, what are you asking / expecting the guests to do ? Those waits can be a real pain for guests if no refreshment

Things I've liked at weddings I've been to in recent years........

• One that had tea and cake in the Church, whilst all the photos were being taken. Many of the guests made / brought cakes and people from the Church served the tea. It was lovely - especially for those who'd travelled - it can be a long time between meals on a wedding day. It was also nice that the wedding party could spend a bit of time with all the folk who came to wish them well who weren't going to the Reception.
• One that was in the village hall and lots of friends had contributed to

-One that was one a campsite (that I expected not to like) - it was so personal, and so 'them'

Things I've not liked so much....
-Waiting around for HOURS with either nothing to eat or tiny 'canapes' that you know the caterers charged the couple a fortune for but didn't fill a gap for the starving guests

• any kind of 'theme' where it is dictated what people wear, etc {ok, not been to one, but shudder at the thought}

Oh, and I'm glad we had a video and am so glad to have those clips of all the people that are no longer with us.
We just got dh's brother to stand and record everyone arriving though, then left it running on a stand during the service, then a few clips later at the Reception. Wasn't intrusive, but maybe that's because it wasn't a 'performance' or 'artistically directed' it just recorded the day

I agree with Honeywater, I'm so pleased we took time to choose a photographer that suited the wedding we wanted - informal, relaxed, full of fun. The photos being all those amazing feelings flooding back every time I look at them.

I wish I'd thought more about my hairstyle. I was a bit too laid back and didn't really consider the overall effect with the frock etc. Similarly, the jewellery I wore was a bit too small and inconspicuous whereas the neckline of the dress and my up-do really warranted bigger/blingier jewellery.

We were a bit older marrieds, which probably helped us avoid the 'should invites'. Everyone there were loved by us and loved us back.

I know it's everyone's personal preference but I was wondering if it would all be so kind as to answer me a few questions..

1 what was your best bit about the day/night the thing you are so pleased you bought/hired/did etc

Lengths of sari material bought to dress the church hall where we had the reception, along with length I used as a wrap for the day (wedding in December)

2 the thing you wish you hadn't done / bought invited someone you didn't really want too ( family pressure)

Actually wish I hadn't got married but that's not what you were asking .... I would not have spent so much on flowers, a small posy and couple of decorations would have been plenty and much cheaper.

3 if you could have your day again what would you change or have no fast forwarding

Apart from not marrying the individual? I would have booked a different photographer as ours was a bit rubbish. I would worry less about inviting equal numbers from my / his side as half his didn't bother to turn up and didn't even tell us, and I'd not invited a couple of relatives as I was trying to avoid the guest list looking unbalanced.

Muchly appreciated !! X

We eloped

No pressure on guests as we invited no one

We had a pub lunch - very nice!

Then Home to 3 under 2 who played up most of the night!

I'd still elope - but somewhere warm!

My only regret is only paying the photographer to stay until the meal was served
I wish we had got him to stay all night and get pics of everyone dancing

We didn't do table flowers, and did potted herbs instead with a label for people to feel free to take them home
Cost us about £4 per table and watching drunk people clutching Thyme like their life depended on it on the way to the tube was brilliant

littlemiss as another PP has mentioned what are you planning for your guests to do whilst you go off and have your photos taken? Also will other group photos be taken when you are at the venue?

Waiting for photos is usually the worst bit about weddings, especially if there isn't anywhere comfortable for the guests to go and nothing for them to do and no refreshments available.

We tried to minimise the number of photographs at our wedding but it still took some time. As it was a winter wedding we provided mulled wine whilst guests were waiting which went down well.

We had a small wedding and only had people we knew. We didn't have an evening do which I don't regret but probably wish we had had slightly more time after the meal before our guests left.

We didn't have a top table and DH and I moved around the tables and made sure we talked to everyone.

Wow thank you everyone for all the messages, in answer to some questions the ceremony bit is hopefully changing I am waiting back to hear off 2 places today which are both literally 5 mins away from venue and which will mean we have all photos of guests family etc at place of ceremony which will help currently if it stays with Reg office we aren't having any there other than walking down aisle first kiss and guests arriving the outside is really ugly! Hence why we were going to drive somewhere but these 2 other options are in that destination.

I would LOVE A video / DVD slideshow with our chosen song in background am I right in thinking for this you need 2 photographers??we are on a tight budget and my partner is not the photo type he's more than happy to get a few fantastic ones but will not want to stand there forced to smile for an hour so I'm not sure if the DVD/ video thing will be in our budget or something he wants. Everything else he has left up to me but he has mentioned he doesn't want to stand there posing for long much prefers the naturals shots which I suppose would look better on a DVD anyway? Suppose it will come down to budget

The ceremony is 3pm so expecting guests to of eaten lunch before no one has travel time of more than an hour and this is only 5 of the guest list everyone else v local. So ther will be champagne/ Buck's Fizz and a sweetie table IF we end up going for photos
Can't wait for your responses

We had a venue which was also where we were staying which I loved as I could go upstairs to go to the loo (dress issues) and everyone staying had breakfast together in the morning. Looking back I actually think family (even distant) or long standing family friends are good people to invite even if you don't see them as they are likely to still be around in years to come whereas some of our good friends (even in bridal party) or colleagues are no longer close to us now we've moved jobs/had kids etc. I changed the name on my passport in advance and we went on honeymoon the next day which I personally loved. We didn't pick the date based on the weather so had no expectations. Most definitely things I loved really- getting married at the end of it is definitely the most Important thing and you'll love the day anyway.

Disappointing things - we used a distant family friend as photographer as we had pressure to and Im a bit unhappy with them really. I also forgot on the day to get photos with just me and my mum so I don't have any (just group shots).
A family member offered to do the flowers and I'm also a bit unhappy that I didn't push for what I wanted more (it would have been more expensive) as I couldn't use my favourite flower and I kind of regret that.
We decided to get married in a place we were hoping to set up a home, rather than where I am from (which is beautiful) At the time I didn't want to do it the traditional way and wanted my kids to be christened in the church etc but as it happens we now live somewhere totally different and it's a bit random and meaningless where we got married.

Uhtred some really great points I am definitely going to right a list of what shots we want for the photographer then we get what we want and anything else is a bonus x

We had very few posed shots. I didn't want to be standing around for hours with false smiles on. We had a couple of the family mantle piece type photos and a whole group one and that was it. The rest the photographer just snapped during the day. Some were absolute comedy. We had the whole group picture at the suggestion of the minister because he said it was the one photo him and his wife still looked at because there were a lot of people no longer here and he said it was a nice one to have.
We had a blackboard as well instead of a guest book because we had a medium sized wedding and a guest book would have been a tad empty. People wrote messages on them and a friend of the photographer took a pic of them/their family holding it up. I put all them on a collage poster print on photo box and I love it

I loved my day and I wouldn't change what we did. Parents gave us some cash and in exchange invited some randoms in the evening, totally fine.
Being honest, I debated about having flowers, I had them in the end, they were beautiful, but heavy, got in the way, stopped me hugging people properly. I really think if I did it all again, I'd ditch the flowers.

My two biggest regrets are
A) not delegating enough. I had plans and ideas of things I wanted to do and I should have involved my bridesmaids and others and got help so I didn't have to spend any of my wedding day sorting out babysitters and gifts for example
B) inviting too many random acquaintances and old friends to the evening do. I thought the more the merrier but ended up feeling a bit stressed and guilty because some people came along not knowing anyone and I didn't have the time and or inclination to spend too much time with them. I would keep it close and intimate if I did it again.

Hire a wedding planner. Find one locally with the style you love.

We eloped, no guests at all and I don't regret that.

I might have a party for 10th anniversary instead (were at 5 years in October).

My regret was not booking a honeymoon, thinking the holiday to get married will do both. I wanted more chill time before face reality again x

I suggest much more than a sweetie table for down time. I honestly think 45 minutes will fly, you'll be at least double that.