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Original poster

The imaginatively-named Wedding Quiche

946 replies

TobyLerone · 21/10/2012 18:49

Come one, come all.

Getting married? Come and tell us about it so you don't have to go on the scary Bridezilla forums.

Wedding-whore? Come and relive the best day of your life.

Wedding-voyeur? Bugger off, you freak! Get your fix here.

OP posts:

rubyrubyruby · 30/10/2012 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 08:54

Yeah, that's just me and DP, we can't help ourselves but look at everything from a business point of view - not very romantic!!

The other day we were getting all excited about our idea for a giant personalised Guess Who game for the wedding, but it was a matter of minutes before giddy, excited wedding fun talk was overtaken by how we could commercialise it - profit margins, marketing strategy, even as far as logistics of it. SAD.

Original poster

TobyLerone · 30/10/2012 12:26

Giant personalised Guess Who sounds amazing! One thing I regret about a winter wedding is that we can't plan outdoor games.

Wow. 300 people is a huge number! I think our numbers are coming out to around 90 including children. That said, though, very few people have actually replied yet and only one has actually replied by sending a card instead of a FB message or a text

OP posts:

louiespence · 30/10/2012 12:34

Wow, its really interesting to read about the cost of your weddings and how it is broken down. Gives me a good starting point for thinking how much cash we need to get together.

I think my wedding might be a bit smaller than some of yours though (I am reeling at 140 Thistledew !). I have calculated that I have 45 must-have attendees for the actual ceremony and meal/speeches (close friends and family), but 12 of those are children (mostly under 5). Not sure if hotels/caterers take that into account when they do a per-head charge? Then if we decide to have an evening buffet, perhaps another 30? Its hard to know where to stop though, with work colleagues etc, you could go on forever but we really need to keep costs down and just invite people that are important to us!

Vivipru Is that the Hilton next to Junction 21 that you are talking about? £4k for everything sounds pretty good, and is just a stone's throw from where we live....

littlemissstan · 30/10/2012 12:36

We sent our save the date emails yesterday :) Doing it on the cheap - people will get a proper invite next year but I didn't really see the point in spending on two lots of stationery... It seems rather early but most of our guests will be travelling and need to book a hotel so we wanted to give them the chance to do it now at cheaper rates. It also meant we could send round the link to our website which I am ridiculously pleased with! I was a bit about doing one as they can be so horribly cheesy, but it's been such a good way of having the links to all the accommodations, map directions and gift lists in one place, and saves on printing out reams of paper! People can RSVP on the site too, choose their meals and I can download it in one lovely spreadsheet which appeals to my organisational side...

I WANT giant Guess Who now :)

littlemissstan · 30/10/2012 12:39

louiespence our place offers kid's versions of our meal (main course and pudding) for £8, I think most venues will if you ask?

memphis83 · 30/10/2012 12:44

I am going to send rsvp postcards that have a stamp and our address on so no excuses for not getting back to us as I get twitchy when people dont get back to me quickly!
How far i advance will you all send invites out? I got one for a wedding on the 28th of december for a evening do way back in June and its not like its because they need numbers as there was no rsvp! I was thinking 3 months before they I cat them with the xmas cards!

memphis83 · 30/10/2012 12:46

Stupid phone. I meant then I can post them with xmas cards

Original poster

TobyLerone · 30/10/2012 12:46

I did that last time I got married, memphis :o It definitely worked.

3 months before is perfect. It's a good idea to put a 'RSVP by...' date on the invitation. Ours is 1st December.

OP posts:

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 13:09

louie No - it's the next one up, junction 24, the East Midlands Airport Hilton (properly outing myself now - like I hadn't already) but I imagine the Leicester Hilton at junction 21 would have similar deals.

I am going to send rsvp postcards that have a stamp and our address on so no excuses for not getting back to us as I get twitchy when people dont get back to me quickly!

^YY to this.

I think we're going to send out invites out in November after the 6-month timeframe has passed. It's quite early but I don't think that will hurt, and I like to be mega-organised.

I sent our save the dates out a couple of months back, here's one - they had magnets on the back too.

Original poster

TobyLerone · 30/10/2012 13:11

Wow, 6 months before is too early, IMO. If I got an invitation 6 months in advance, I'd probably think it was weird. I would also probably lose it/forget to reply because my brain would tell me it wasn't a priority just yet.

That might just be me, though.

OP posts:

Thistledew · 30/10/2012 13:21

I have a big family louie. I get up to 30 on my side of the family alone just with siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins, and a few aunts. Our initial set of invites for family and long-term friends goes up to 90 people. Those invites have already gone out as several people have to book flights from various parts of the world.

I do still have a dilemma regarding work colleagues. I started working where I am now two years ago, and some of my colleagues are well on the way to being proper friends but not to the extent where I can easily differentiate between the people in my team of 15 who are 'friend friends' and those who are just 'work friends'. There are some who I would definitely like to invite, and others who I am not so keen on. I would be a bit disappointed not to invite any of them, but I am not sure if I can do so without inviting all of them IYSWIM. Does anyone have suggestions for dealing with this issue?

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 13:21

Yeah it is early, we may leave it to the new year but people keep asking us about what hotels to stay at etc.

Also, we're giving some of the people with kids the option of coming to the whole day from start to finish without their kids, or joining us from about 7pm onwards with or without kids. There are about 10 couples who this applies to, so in the event that all of them prefer to just come in the evening, that will make quite a big difference to the organisation, we would potentially need a different marquee and the catering will have to be requoted as the price we have is based on minimum 80 people. The sooner we have the final numbers, the easier all that will be.

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 13:24

Thistle are you thinking about your colleagues in terms of an evening-only invite? If so then I'd say you could leave those invitations to nearer the time and by then you might have more strongly established friendships...

memphis83 · 30/10/2012 13:32

vivi I love those save the date. I have never recieved a save the date so I wasn't going to bother with them.
On the rsvp I will be putting a reply by date on and the people we hand deliver them to will get the look that says reply quickly or I will pester you until you do!
thistle my dp has this so he hasn't invited any of them. We have invited on he used to work with who left, he may ask two lads who he works with a lot more to the evening but he doesn't know yet. Hos work mstes who got married didn't invite anyone either though

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 13:34

I don't think I'd have bothered if I wasn't a graphic designer and didn't have an industrial printer on the desk next to me....

Original poster

TobyLerone · 30/10/2012 13:46

Thistle, I would say invite all of them or none at all. Chances are, those who aren't particularly close with you might decline anyway. I hate getting evening invitations, so would only really make the effort for someone I considered a friend.

I got around this easily by jacking my job in just before I got engaged :o I have invited the 4 people I considered 'friends' from where I used to work, and stuff the rest of them! DP hasn't invited any of his work colleagues because he has very clear boundaries between 'colleagues' and 'friends'.

OP posts:

Thistledew · 30/10/2012 14:41

We decided that all invites would be to the whole thing or not at all. We worked out that we could afford to cater for the maximum capacity the venue has (140), but in any event our long list comes to more like 130, including about nearly 20 children.

I think I will have to invite the whole team. What about spouses/ long term partners? There are 7 who are married, five on my 'friends I want to invite' list and two who I don't even know the names of their spouses.

Original poster

TobyLerone · 30/10/2012 14:53

I also wouldn't go to a colleague's wedding if DP wasn't invited. Not sure if that's helpful, or not?!

OP posts:

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 15:10

I wouldn't be put out if I received an invite to a colleagues wedding that didn't include DP, particularly if it were an all-day invite. Whether DP was on the invite or not, I'd probably be quite surprised I was invited to the whole day if I didn't know them that well. I think I'd only attend if I was good friends with other colleagues that were also going.

Original poster

TobyLerone · 30/10/2012 15:13

Well, exactly, Vivi. That's what I meant. My colleagues were not my friends. I wouldn't want to socialise with my colleagues without DP. My friends are something else entirely.

OP posts:

ViviPru · 30/10/2012 15:34

Yeah definitely. You may as well invite all of them, Thistle if you can accommodate them in the unlikely event they will all come.

RedGreenRouge · 30/10/2012 22:38

They probably wouldn't mind if they were only invited to the evening, while other colleagues were invited to the ceremony itself, unless they were very petty, thistle. If you can accomodate two extra people and it won't set a precedent, I'd invite the spouses.

I had a wedding meeting this afternoon with dp and three bridesmaids. We have tentatively decided that the civil partnership will be for friends and very close family. Extended family will be invited to the blessing. That should minimise the cost and allow us to party freely at the reception.

TitHead · 30/10/2012 23:35

Hello comer. Getting married sep 2014 in Cyprus. Venue and photographer booked. Fantastic wedding planner who is very organised all we really need to do is choose dresses, suits rings and speeches. Oh yeah and pay for it all.

RedGreenRouge · 30/10/2012 23:57

Cyprus sounds lovely! And you sound very organised for 2014. Welcome!

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