How can I wean EBF 6 month old? Its not working and I can't go to work!

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

I am feeling trapped and really want someone else to help feed DD who is EBF. I just need someone else to be able to feed her once or twice a day so I can go to work or just have a little time to myself. I've been trying to get her to take a bottle for a month or so but have had no success. I am supposed to be going back to work in 1 months time but if she stays like this I won't be able to go.

We have tried 2 different kinds of bottles with formula or ebm. She just will not suck. It pours into her mouth and she spits it out. DH has also tried feeding her with no success.

Also so far she will not eat any solids. After speaking to my health visitor after she showed signs of being hungry, in the last 2 weeks I have tried baby rice with formula, pear puree, sweet potato puree and apple puree on separate occasions and at different times of day. I put the spoon in, she makes a face, rolls it about in her mouth and spits it out.

I have also tried BLW with banana, carrot and broccoli which she put in her mouth and spat out.

She is 6 months this week. She does seem hungry and wants to feed more often now. Last night she fed at 10pm, 3am and 6.30am.

I am sooo tired and a bit fed up. I just want to be able to get someone else to feed her. I also have a DS aged 3 which makes things more complicated with the feeding etc. I would like to start to cut down the breastfeeding gradually over the next few months. I hope someone can help.

blood temperature is breastmilk temperature, and blood temperature is hotter than you think! It feels very warm on the wrist.

Both my babies were formula fed from birth - but both of them detested cool, cold, room temperature or even lukewarm milk. It had to be VERY warm indeed, and then they would guzzle it. And this isn't something I trained them into, I tried room temperature for them both at first - easier, you see

thanks pronoia all tips welcome.

DD still not really eating solids. I tried Hipps baby rice with banana and orange today but she didn't seem bothered. She takes a bit in her mouth, spits it out and cries if you pester her too much with it.

I haven't tried the bottles for a while.

I am going to see the HV tomorrow and see what they suggest.

Am wondering if she is not developmentally ready?

The HV popped in today to see how DD is eating as I was worried about her.

While HV was here she took afew sips of formula from a sippy cup and tried a bit of broccoli and some apple puree. The HV said to sit her in the high chair when we eat and offer her what we are having or some purees.

I am feeling a lot more confident now I know she is ok and doing the usual thing and hoping that she will start eating something soon.

HV said that playing with the food is one of the first stages and that it would progress to eating.

I asked how this would work with the breast feeding and she said that DD would gradually cut down on the feeds. I am not sure how that will work?

Just wanted to let those watching this thread know that progress seems to be happening.

Hello. New girl here who is a bit late to this post I'm afraid!

Just to add comfort through another similar story. DS(first thus heightened paranoia), 6mo, refuses ANY food, milk or water other than boob despite rigorous attempts with bottles, cups and even spoon for water/milk.

Problem is he has dropped right to the bottom of the chart for weight (from 25th) which prevents me being completely relaxed about it - would you force the formula/food or go cold turkey in this situation? HV says I should.

One thing I have found that you could try is that giving sticks of food (pear, cucumber etc) to hold in his pushchair when out and about does lead to a few sucks which I'm hoping will lead to more eating over time and takes the pressure off him/us. Not sure a few licks of cucumber will sort out this one's weight though sadly...!

flying - see my last post. HV said that sucking and playing with food is the first stage before they eat. They can enjoy the tasting and feeling the texture of food even if they don't swallow it yet.

My DD is 6mo and her weight is dropping on the chart but the HV said not to worry and to relax and that she would eat eventually. So your DS may be the same?

If you force food on them it could put them off eating all together. I'm trying to make it positive and stop DH pushing things in her gob and letting her try herself with a bit of help.

Today DD reached for the sippy cup and some went in her mouth but she may not have swallowed any. I sat her in the high chair when we were eating.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Hi everyone,

Good to hear there's some progress, halfmum.

I had the day off work today and DS refused all solids from me, only wanted milk (this is the baby who normally only has solids in the day as he refuses a bottle...) By the time his evening feed came around, I got the impression I had hardly any milk left. Arrgghh!!! But he's sleeping quite happily as I write, so maybe he just wasn't hungry.

Keep us posted everyone

Sorry to hear we are all still struggling.

I had a bit of a breakdown at the weekend, was supposed to go out for well-earned girl's night once DS had gone down but he wouldn't go to sleep except on me, he was crying and moaning for hours, so I had to cancel. I ended up in tears on and off the whole weekend as feeling so exhausted and trapped

DH is sufficiently worried that I am close to depression that he has said he will try cold turkey on Saturday while I go out for the day. The very idea makes me feel very upset and am not even convinced it will work, but I don't really see an alternative at this point.

Sounds like you have a nice HV HMHB which is good! Glad some progress.

My inclination also is to go for BLW rather than forcing the solids on a closed and unwilling mouth. Will try and focus on more ff attempts to help the weight.

MusicMaiden, you poor thing its such a horrid feeling and by this stage you really do feel like you are being eaten alive some days. If your DH is up for it then I would certainly be tempted to take him up on the offer if I were you. It sounds harsh but you can be around for the evening and if bubs is getting more upset and harder to settle anyway, it won't be such a jolt. Good luck!

bunnyfrance - sounds confusing (to your boobs)!

musicmaiden - sounds awful. I know what you mean about feeling trapped. Hopefully your friends will understand.
I got over feeling bad about being trapped by thinking about the fact that this phase will end in a few months and then we can do whatever we like again (within reason obv). In 6m time things will be totally different. In 1 year we'll hardly remember this phase.

Also, when we tried cold turkey and even though it didnt' work that well, it made me realise that if I have to I can go out without her and do something and then DD will make up for the feed when I get back if she doesn't take a feed from someone else.

Today DD was in the nursery for a few hours and according to them didn't drink milk from bottle or cup and hardly took any food but when I picked her up she didn't seem that hungry? She is fine.

flyingfarfalla - I think you are right. She does seem happier to put things in her own mouth rather than us poking about with the spoon.

Hi all,

Big hug to musicmaiden and everyone else who's struggling.

Not much joy this end, either. DS has a runny nose (teething) and I have the beginnings of mastitis...the swelling and redness started yesterday and I rushed off to the doctor's this morning. Great thing about France - they're very generous with the antibiotics so I hope it'll be fixed up quickly.

Halfmum, good to hear your DD's visit to the nursery went ok. You'll probably find she'll take more and more solids from them (but not necessarily from you, if she's anything like my DS!)

Cold turkey still going, now day 3. Is as awful as I predicted. DS is stubborn as a mule and seems to think he'd rather starve than take formula or expressed milk. Has taken max 2.5oz about twice a day when desperate, after a lot of broken-hearted crying. Hardly any water either so am starting to worry about dehydration as several dry nappies now.

Have nearly caved in so many times, only the thought of what to do later when back at work/when my Mum looks after him is stopping me giving breast. Even if he does take eventually, I don't think I'll be able to mix feed as hoped, he is definitely an all-or-nothing type. What a rotten end to my breastfeeding 'career'.

I feel really low and like I am torturing him.

Hope everyone else is getting on better.

xx

BunnyFrance - just seen your post - sorry to hear about your mastitis, how awful. Hope you are not feeling too ill. When I had it, the antibiotics cleared it pretty quickly.

Musicmaiden - sounds like a tough couple of days. Know what you mean about torturing the baby. I have given in on the bottle front now but then I have a couple more months before I have to go back to work.

Try not to give yourself a hard time for stopping the feeds. You've done brilliant to feed him for this long and he has got all the benefit from it.

DD literally only takes only 2 sips of formula from a cup and 2 spoons of solids. We did find broccoli bits in her poo yesterday so she must have eaten some sometime. Very slow progress.

Bunny - hope your boobs are better.

Things a bit better now. Towards the end of day 3 DS suddenly reached for an open cup of formula, after screaming and punching at bottles all day. Now he is drinking from a cup (the Tommee Tippee hard spout one) with a minimum of fuss. He is still only taking about 5oz per feed so it is not enough really, but it is a start.

Have been expressing for comfort/mastitis prevention but boobs already feel like they are drying up, which is quite scary. Am using the milk for his porridge and he ate pretty heartily today, for him.

Bunny France, Half Mum, FlyingFarfalla - there are a few threads on the breast/bottlefeeding section of mums giving advice about returning to work. Lots saying that their DCs took bottles at nursery but not at home, or that they were fine without any at nursery. All encouraging stuff.

HalfMum - good news on the broccoli front. Just keep on going, you know she'll get there. The pressure for 3 meals a day is too much at times, am sure some babies just don't care about the whole hoo-ha for a while.

Well done MusicMaiden - fab news, even though it has been a painful slog. Hopefully it will get easier from here.

I was considering cold turkey this w/e since I have to go to Scotland for a funeral (volcano permitting). H/e we had a hospital appointment for ds yesterday and the paediatrician vetoed it because of his v.low weight. She has given us some high calorie powder to put in his food which apparently doesn't taste of anything. Looks like I am stuck with the constant bf for a bit longer therefore but hopefully I can get him to swallow some of it and help.

Incidentally, avocado mashed on unsalted rice cake seemed to be a hit last night (i.e. tiny amount consumed) so worth trying ao if you haven't.

Probably best if he is low weight, flyingfarfalla - my DS definitely lost a bit of weight, we were on the verge of stopping when he took the formula. But a) he is comfortably near 75th centile usually and b) I don't suppose many DCs are stubborn as my DS!

Sorry you can't yet cut down on the bf but rest assured you are still giving him the good stuff, it does seem stupid I am in the situation of dumping my milk while giving him powder, but needs must...

Avocado high in fat so great if you DS likes it. Apparently also works mashed with banana.

flying - good luck for the weekend. ill try the avocado.

I tried the messy approach today. On the back of a pack of baby cereal it suggests that you let babies get their hands in the messy food. They then put their hands in their mouths and suck/swallow apparently. Anyho, this morning DD got covered in banana porridge, threw bowl and spoon on floor and probably ate some. DS encourages her by getting really close to her face and shouting 'yuckky!' .

Still not cutting down on breast feeds so I am feeling a bit tired as she is feeding a couple/three times a night. I'll just have to be patient.

Hope things going well with you lot.

How is everyone else getting on?

We are still at the same stage here.

DD still won't take a bottle and only has tiny, rare sips of formula from a sippy cup.

She prefers to hold things and suck/chew them e.g. roast sweet potato, toast etc.

She does not like puree, baby rice, yogurt etc. She always pulls a face whilst eating them.

She quite likes chewing on a spoon/bowl/edge of high chair tray.

She is trying to make up for it at night with more feeds than before. She was up 3 times last night so I am pretty exhausted.

flying - I tried rice cakes and she chucked them on the floor (several times). Not impressed unfortunately.

She did go to nursery today while I popped in to work for a couple of hours but she refused a bottle from them. They say she had a couple of spoons of baby rice from them but I don't think that is enough for her.

Hi HalfMum, looks like you have a well established support thread here. Can I join? My www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weaning/962669-I-give-up-DS2-constantly-gagging-and-throwing-up story]] so far.

Am going to try and new tactic tomorrow. Secret weapon: Ella pouches stored for an emergency! I think I will have to break them out now and try DS2 on them exclusively tomorrow and take the stress out of giving him lovingly made purees only to be met with firmly clenched shut mouth.

HalfMum I had a friend who was in your situation. Her DD2 was a breast fiend and never took to a bottle while she was on maternity. She tried everything but in the end, she had to just leave her in nursery when she went back to work and that was what did it in the end!

Hi all,

Well, we had a major breakthrough over the weekend - DS (will be 8 months on Friday) drank 100ml EBM from a sippy cup!! With great enthusiasm!! A small victory, as he then didn't drink any at the CM yesterday...she feeds him up on yoghurts (which have added sugar grrrrr) But I'm not giving up, am continuing to express at work and hope that he'll take more and more at the CM.

He refuses most solids at home but then eats everything at the CM. Still waking once a night for a feed - very tiring!

halfmum, good that your DD will hold onto things like toast. My DS still throws them on the floor...

Welcome, angel, you're not alone!

HMHB, sorry progress is slow. Toast holding has promise though since you can try so many different toppings (I frequently survive on toast myself afterall!). Darn frustrating though.

Well done on the EBM bunny! We also managed to get some of the high calorie milk the hospital has given us down DS in a doidy for the first time. Only 40ml two days running but its a start. The technique I have found works best is for me to (pretend to) take a sip (with exaggerated slurping and 'yummy' sounds naturally) and then to immediately give it to DS to sip and keep repeating that.

Little progress on the solids front. Angel you are certainly not alone and I have same worries since DS is only 0.4pc. Difficult not to stress when you see other babies stuffing it down! Am also resorting to some Ella pouches which I keep for 48 hours. Not that he really likes those much either...

DS2 would actually hold food (toast sticks, rice cakes etc) and put them into his mouth very accurately and if he just gums them, he actually ingests quite a bit of it BUT if he gets a big chunk in his mouth, he gags and spectacularly vomits out everything... So I have given up on letting him hold things. I am so stuck between a rock and a hard place! This morning, I took out an Ella pouch, squeeze some on a spoon and DS2 actually licked a couple of small spoonfuls. I also got him a sippy cup that needed a bit of sucking and he finally worked it out this morning he had to suck to get the damn water out.

Thanks bunnyfrance and well done on getting your DS to drink from a sippy cup. DS2 starts one day at nursery this Friday and I am hoping that he will eat better there than at home...

flyingfarfalla My new tactic this week is to just do Ella pouches for a week. And get him to take it form a spoon and next week, I will then try to mix in some of my own purees with it. Wish me luck.

I saw this baby when I took DS1 and DS2 to play gym yesterday that was massive. I really mean MASSIVE - he had cheeks that literally overhang as they were so fat. I am pretty sure he's only about 4-5 months old but he looked like he squeezed into that car seat cos he was so big and was holding his own bottle to drink his milk. Bet he is at least double DS2's weight... sigh

dd also refuses a bottle but will try milk from a doidy cup. She laps it like a cat.

right am going to try sweet potato puree and toast again...

thakfully she slept a bit better last night

1 handed typing sorry