I give up - DS2 constantly gagging and throwing up...

[angel1976]

Hi,

I'm at the end of my tether with this one! DS2 was 6 months old last week. Been weaning a few weeks but not much happening. He had a mild case of reflux when born; threw up at least one milk feed every day till the last few weeks where we were going at least a day or two without him throwing up. Subsequently somewhere between the 2% and 9% on the growth chart... HV pretty happy with him cos he is a very smiley boy and meeting all his developmental milestones with no problems. Anyway, started with purees and he wasn't opening his mouth. No problem, so we started a bit of BLW but that's not working either. So now what? Because he is so little, I didn't want to stress and thought he might be ready a bit later than others and just wanted him to have some taste of food etc. Basically, these are the problems:

• Purees - Won't open his mouth for the spoon. Sometimes, he might eat some puree off my finger. If I 'trick' him into eating (I know, I know!), secretly spooning in food when his mouth is open, he gags and sometime throws up.

• BLW - Very sensitive gag reflex. Tried putting puree on rice cake, he got a big piece and gagged. But continued gagging till he throws up lots of phlegm, curdled milk and whatever else he has just eaten. Have tried steamed asparagus (very, very soft!), broccoli, sweet potato 'chips', banana - all with the same results.

• No solids at all - So I thought maybe he is not ready... And didn't want to give him any food but he sees us eating and he gets upset!

What he does like 'eating' is those bloody Ella pouches, yoghurt in a tube and tonight, I was going to give DS1 one of those Innocent fruit smoothie in a tube and DS2 went bananas for it. He will then open his mouth to suck/lick the smoothie/yoghurt... Well, I can't just bloody wean him on that can I?

What do I do now? I am so so stuck for ideas. Tonight, I actually considered using freezer bags, cut the corner off one to create my own 'pouches' so I can feed DS2 that way! BUt that's not a solution is it? Please help! I don't want DS2 to throw up anymore but I can't NOT wean him. Thanks!

Ax

Personally I wouldn't worry too much, ne is still pretty young and if he picks up on your anxiety you'll just be storing up future problems.

Keep trying, keep it relaxed, if your eating let him try a little bit of whatever you've got. I don't think it's that unusual for babies not to like being fed, maybe just giving him the spoon with nothing on it for him to play with and chew on might get him used to having it in his mouth IYSWIM!

Don't see there being much wrong with him liking the pouches at least he is trying new flavours and getting the vitamins if he needs.

I know, I know, I know... I have to chill...

I keep trying to remind myself that DS1 was difficult to wean too and he was probably about 1.5 years old before he started enjoying eating. He is now 2.3 and loves most food (except veg but not too worried about it as I think it's just a phase).

I have given him a spoon to chew on but he sometimes sticks it too far into his mouth and gags / throws up. I know it's all part of learning but he doesn't like milk either so every drop I get in him is precious and it just makes my heart sinks when he throws up any bit of milk.

DS1 never had pouches / jars much. He just never got into them and I cooked everything for him fresh. I feel so guilty about giving DS2 non-fresh food. Also, those Ella pouches are so expensive (and once he has had a suck, he doesn't actually eat much, I can't imagine I can keep them for long?). Maybe I should have a new strategy, feed him pouches till he is 7 months old and try weaning him with fresh food again? Thanks for your reply.

My son was exactly the same at 6 months, not really fussed by eating purees and often sick. So we waited a bit longer and then around 8 months, when he could hold finger food himself, then his appetite took off! Now, he's a great eater, all fruit and veg, and will try anything. Try not to worry, your DS is still very young, there's plenty of time.

I hope I haven't 'ruined' it for him... His little face so enjoyed the Innocent smoothie tonight but he doesn't actually eat much, thank goodness we have DS1 the dog chowing dowm the remains.

Anyone know how long I can keep Ella pouches for once DS2 has had a lick? If I don't heat it up and put it straight in the fridge after that? I can't imagine being able to keep it longer than 24 hours... I suppose I could make one pouch last a day even if it means having banana and peaches for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Thanks all for your stories... Everyone in RL keeps telling me how great their LOs are taking to weaning and I just want to cry...

Just relax lady! You sound so so stressed! Sounds to me that he obviously isn't ready to be eating much so follow his lead. Keep offering him stuff, relax and let him play. If he gags and is sick, try to relax too, he'll soon learn how not too. The only way he won't learn to eat or won'tlearm not to gag on things is if you won't let him, by stopping offering him food or by your worry, anxiety and labelling him as a bad eater becoming apparent to him. I know it's stressful, but please just try to relax. Let him get there at his own pace. You're responsible for offering him food, not for him eating it .

Thanks frekkles, I need a hard knock on the head... I come from a culture where eating is so important and I know it's making me stressed out that he isn't even opening his mouth to eat this bloody homemade stuff. Tomorrow is another day. I really will try to take it easy from now on. Wish me luck!

angel1976 - I am having a similar problem with my DD (see my thread) who doesn't want to eat anything really. I was mega stressed about it but have chilled a bit now.

I wanted to add that as she only tries (and rejects) a teeny tiny bit of anything I offer I have been putting the rest of any pouches used into ice cube trays to try another day. The same as if I had made the purees myself.

Best of luck to you.

I'm not the only one? Oh thank God!

HalfMumHalfBiscuit - Should we start a support thread? Mind you, it might just be the two of us...

The problem is I don't think it's what inside the packaging, he actually likes eating from anything with a 'sprout' and something he can sort of hold and control. So I imagine that if his saliva has been in contact with the food, it can't be kept for that long? Anyway, it's no use me putting what's rest in ice cube trays if I can't get it back into the packaging? God, how sad, you can see how much I have been obsessing about the weaning...

big hugs x have a nice bath!

Try and remember, He doesn't understand that he should be opening his mouth, let alone all the effort you've gone to or the cultural and emotional resonance food has for you. He's not deliberatelynot eating, he's just taking his time to realise what this new game is all about.

My ds nicked some porridge and banana off me at 23 weeks, so he made the choice to start eating. But even then it's still taken months of offering stuff and not worrying how much got chucked on the floor to get to the point where he's now eating stuff consistently. It's going to take time and patience. Be kind to yourself meantimes,Buy yourself nice food, prepare it and serve it with love, enjoy it yourself share it with your children , let them watch you being relaxed and happy while you ear and enjoy watching them learn from example!

Thank you frekkles. I needed that!

You talk so much sense and I know if my friend was in my position, I would give the same advice but it's so difficult to get any hindsight or relax when you are in the middle of it all. Funnily enough, DS1 is now at the age where he can pronounce things 'Delicious!' and it is so cute to see him jumping about after taking a mouthful of dinner going 'deeeeeeliiiiiiicious!'

(Must prove my cooking can't be that bad! Even though I am tempted to bin a bag full of frozen swede puree, even I thought that tasted pretty awful!)

It is very stressful I agree! Maybe just concentrate on enjoying your older child at mealtimes, and let your ds2 watch you both . My one year old nephew wants to eat everything his elder sisters do and his 3 year old elder sister is the only person that can spoon feed him!

A game of ds1 feeding mummy, himself, some teddies and ds2 maybe? ( and ds2 not opening his mouth, but then neither dud the teddies and in ghe meantime he's watching everything that's going on and picking up on the fun relaxed atmosphere?) Ds1 and ds2 sharing a bowl of food perhaps? ( and ds2 maybe not eating anything atall but doing plenty and touching and watching?) ds1 feeding ds2 a pouch and enjoying the camradery and flavour? And then maybe being happy to progress into bring fed and feeding himself other things?

Great ideas frekkles! Must keep everything happy and smiley tomorrow! Will try and get DS1 involved though at the moment, he is already involved but not in the way I want.... He wants whatever DS2 is having but won't have it when he actually gets it...

And remember if it doesn't go to plan, just shrug, smile, clear up, try again later and remember it'll take time. Best to enjoy it! Xx