How can I wean EBF 6 month old? Its not working and I can't go to work!

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

I am feeling trapped and really want someone else to help feed DD who is EBF. I just need someone else to be able to feed her once or twice a day so I can go to work or just have a little time to myself. I've been trying to get her to take a bottle for a month or so but have had no success. I am supposed to be going back to work in 1 months time but if she stays like this I won't be able to go.

We have tried 2 different kinds of bottles with formula or ebm. She just will not suck. It pours into her mouth and she spits it out. DH has also tried feeding her with no success.

Also so far she will not eat any solids. After speaking to my health visitor after she showed signs of being hungry, in the last 2 weeks I have tried baby rice with formula, pear puree, sweet potato puree and apple puree on separate occasions and at different times of day. I put the spoon in, she makes a face, rolls it about in her mouth and spits it out.

I have also tried BLW with banana, carrot and broccoli which she put in her mouth and spat out.

She is 6 months this week. She does seem hungry and wants to feed more often now. Last night she fed at 10pm, 3am and 6.30am.

I am sooo tired and a bit fed up. I just want to be able to get someone else to feed her. I also have a DS aged 3 which makes things more complicated with the feeding etc. I would like to start to cut down the breastfeeding gradually over the next few months. I hope someone can help.

I think if you have no choice but to return to work you will have to leave her with dh for a day until she realises she has to take the bottle
I had to go back to work when ds was five months, ds had an hours settling in session and then a full day
he was fine
youbeing in the house still might be confusing her?

OP - I was the same with DS1 and DS2. They WILL take a bottle eventually. With DS1, what worked (after months of bottle battle which was useless - he liked bfing and I spoiled months of my mat leave having bottle battle with him) was me disappearing for a weekend and DH giving him the bottle - he went 6 hours no milk then drained bottles for the rest of the weekend (was expressed bm) - I was out for most of the saturday (sneaking back in to express) and then around for half of the sunday and he was fine. The on the Monday I gave him bottles of ebm all day (wore a huge worn sweater of DH's to mask the bm smell on me) so he had 72 hours of bottles then on the tuesday moved to bf morning and night and bottles during the day (during which time I expressed less and less and mixed more and more with formula). What worked for DS1 was REALLY warm milk and gradually introducing formula.

DS2 refused bottles from even earlier on. Didnt bother with bottle battle. Tried the disappearing for a day when he was 6 months (he was eating a tiny bit of solids and drinking water from a sippy cup) - he took 3 oz of ebm from DH in the morning while i was around but refused for the rest of the day (but drank tonnes of water and ate solids) and was pretty grizzly. He woke at 3 in the morning wailing and DH tried to give him a bottle - he wouldnt take it as was missing me too much; i put on DH's huge jumper again and went in, and he took 8 oz from me straight off in a bottle (EBM again). What worked with DS2 was (i) MAM teats (rather than AVENT or NUK), (ii) really warm milk and (iii) mummy doing it eventually after a period of absence (he'd never have taken it from me before). He's still a huge bf fan (morning and night) and only takes 3 or 4oz of formula during his two daytime bottles - but he eats solids well and has lots of cheese and yoghurt during the daytime.

It will work out eventually - please try to relax and enjoy the last few months of maternity leave.

Yep, i had to go cold turkey with the bottle with Ds2 too.

i didn't go out, it was me doing it but he was 8 momths by then and eating a reasonable amount of solids. I decided i owuld BF him morning and night but that's all.

By about 2 pm on day 1 he took the bottle and after that he was away. It was far less traumatic than I thought it would be.

Good luck

Thanks dinkystinky and compo for your experiences. So great to hear what you did and that it is possible.

Dinkystinky thanks for the detailed info. I will have to persuade DH to help although he doesn't sound keen at the moment.

Am using Nuk and Tommee Tippee back to nature bottles at the moment but will try Mam. Hell I'll try anything.

FWIW its worth Halfmumhalfbiscuit, DS2 will now happily take a bottle from any of us - and DH loves giving him one

HMHB I did the disappearin g trick as well at 7 mo in prep[aration for return to work. She went nearly 9 hrs it was an awful day for DP & DD. The Breastflow bottle worked for us and I mix fed for a couple of months after that.

She was slow to take solids as well - no interest really.

Now at nine months she's a little beast for both bottle and solids. I'm sure your LO will be too.

Hi HMHB

No advice re bottles I'm afraid but wanted to say hi.
Also those feed times during the night sound pretty good/normal to me (also compared to some other Oct 09 thread mums)

Thanks jojay and wukter.

This idea of leaving Dh to it is getting more and more appealing. I get to go out and DH has to deal with the trauma of feeding DD. Win win....

Thanks princessmel. Good to know it is normal.
I'll have to check the Oct 09 thread to see how everyone is getting on.

my twins are six months old today and we started solids a couple of weeks ago - my boy eats anything you offer him but my princess pulls a face - my friend who is a child physiologist said that children need to be introduced to a new taste about seven times before they like it.... not true for my boy but on the button for my little girl....what a mess ...teaching a human being how to eat hey? ... I may never wear white again! I tried making my own food a la Annabelle Karmel but they prefer jars...come to think of it no one actually likes my cooking - oh well you cant be good at everything as my mum used to say and with twins there is no bloody time to cook....

Hi HalfMum

No experience to offer but I am in EXACTLY the same boat with my DS - please come back and let me know how you get on as I am watching with interest!

I too feel a bit trapped and have to go back to work soon but am depressed at the thought of making him go cold turkey as he is usually a sunny boy and I hate the idea of him being really upset just because he prefers BF. .

Good luck and keep in touch!

Hi everyone,

I'm in the same boat too, except that I'm already back at work. It's only been two days - DS (7 months) still refuses the bottle (in spite of being at the CM for 9 hours), he will have a little bit of purée, yoghurt and sips of water from a cup. Needless to say, he's really thirsty when I pick him up and has a HUGE feed when we get home. All in all, he has four milk feeds: early morning, late afternoon, bedtime and middle of the night. Not sure it's enough, really, as he doesn't have much in the way of solids.

I'm really not happy with the situation and it's doing my head in!

Sorry, not been much help re advice, but it's good to know I'm not alone!

roselover LOL, maybe its girls as my ds ate fine as a baby (although greens are off the menu now he is older).

Its so funny. You spend so much time preparing, sterilising, chopping, cooking, pureeing, mixing, getting the temp right etc then then just spit it out and you have to clean everything up afterwards. I don't blame you for getting some jars in.

musicmaiden - Today I have given up trying and am just breast feeding DD. DH has gone back to work and I'm looking after DS too so unless I disguise myself a la dinkystinky she aint' going to be happy with a bottle today and I can't be faffed with the stress.

I just bumped into someone else who has been through this and she said she left her DS with her parents and left them too it for the day.

xpost bunnyfrance - good to know you are managing to go to work, well done!.

Sounds like your DS is adapting in his own way. hopefully it will get better when he realises this is how it is now. youll just have to keep it up at weekends too i guess (apols for typing feeding dd {hmm]. do you bfeed him at the cm in the day?

Hi halfmum,

No, CM is too far away for me to go and BF. When you say keep it up at weekends, do you mean BF or offering the bottle? My mother insists I should stop BFing in the day, even when I'm with him

yes I mean keep up the same routine with bottle feeds at the weekend (if poss). sounds challenging.

Well I tried DD with apple puree and baby rice at tea time and she may have eaten some. I say may because most was smeared about the highchair. Hopefully she did swallow some.

Well, I try to do the same routine and replace the feed with a bottle, but I always give in after an hour five minutes of screaming...I feel terrible denying him something that's obviously right there and also so much better for him!

Hopefully your DD will eat more and more!

It is so easy to give in to the almighty boob.

Right. Am now going to try carrot puree and baby rice again. Wish me luck.

HMHB - butternut squash was my DS1's absolute favourite. Sweeter than carrot - worth a try.

twas rejected

Will have to try a batch of butternut squash. Have got one in. I have sweet potato too.

I had this with DD.

First thing I'd say is def BF on demand when you're at home - its hard expressing and its better for your supply to BF whenever you can. And less confusing for your baby - to them, Mummy=Boobs, OtherPeople=Bottle. They're bothered if you're a bottle person or a boob person, not so bothered about if its bottle time or boob time.

Turned out DD liked her EBM HOT - a lot warmer than you'd expect - wonderful keyworker tried this after the first few tearful days at nursery and I will love her forever more.

Worth a try?

Best of luck.

Mix up the carrot with some apple - if your little one is anything like DS1, sweetness is the trick. Sweet potato wasnt such a hit with him - there's an Annabel Karmel butternut squash risotto he used to go ballistic for though.

Just try to keep it light and let your little one explore the food - will be fine.

Pumpkin? Been quite a hit with my DS.

Another thing I found is that sometimes he doesn't like being fed in his highchair - prefers being on my lap. And distracting them with a toy also helps - you can get some spoonfuls in that way (unless you're doing BLW?)

Yes, River, my instinct tells me to go with feeding on demand when with him. Surely he's clever enough to know that bottles come from other people and BF from me?