Early weaning - how to offer advice without causing a riot?

[FlabbyTumSquashyBum]

Sorry to post a link to another site again but this has really bothered me. This is my birthboard on another site and some of the babies aren't even 3 months yet. I want to offer advice, mainly because others reading the thread might assume early weaning is ok because everyone else is doing it, but I want to do it in a way that won't cause a weaning war. What do you think is the best approach to take?

Aitch, agree some HVs not v. bright but neither are some mums, not their fault. Am at the Bounty threads which I think may be a deliberate...no, best not to start flinging accusations.
There's so much misinformation from baby food manufacturers, putting doubt in parents minds. As a baby-led-weaning evangelist HV I take every opportunity to get the message across about waiting till 6 months but its a constant battle and there are so many other things to deal with now HV numbers are drastically reduced. Only People Power (or Mumsnetpower) can force the baby food manufacturers to change labels and stop spreading misinformation.

AA I have a reclining high cahir it was by Gracco I think. It says that it is designed to recline so that you lay baby back if they fall to sleep during supper. It does come with a leaflet warning of the dangers of feeding before a child can sit properly and it is only suitable from 6 months plus. Don't know if there are others though.

I have no idea why people would to wean a baby too early, especially at 10 weeks. Poor babies. DD1 was really upset when my mum tried her with baby rice @ 4 months . I can't imagine what she would have done if she had tried her earlier.

I think maybe the best approach might be to join in with the 'huns and bubba' speak and be all fluffy but still get your point accross i.e. "oh aren't worried about weaning early, hun? It can cause x, y and z problems you know." Anything too intelligent and thier heads may explode

How can so many eejits all get pregnant at the same time? To all end up on the same bb.
I'm also an ex-BCer (then I saw the light) and never joined a bb as couldn't cope with the fuckwittage.

Has anybody mentioned to them yet about the potential dangers of sleeping through from 2 weeks (or whatever they're all claiming?) with regard to SIDS research?

Oh my god!!! I can't believe you lot are stupid enough to think we feed our babies chocolate, I did'nt think revenge would be up your street seeing as they say it's sweet.
Get a life the lot of you.

OMG people. Really why are you all getting so upset???? Oh and that thread was deleted for those of you that wonder why BC allow that to be published!!!

As for the chocolate, you're all talking as if the baby had been given an entire packet. OK I wouldnt let my youngest (4months) have anything like that (my eldest doesnt agree though LOL) but its nothing to do with me so I wont judge the person that did let their baby have a LICK (certainly not enough for it to sit whole in the gut not being digested properly).

My eldest (not more than a baby herself) has tried feeding things to my youngest, are you all horrified coz that that means my 4 month old daughter had a taste of cheese the other day? Clearly this means I'm a terrible mother who needs the current weaning guidelines shoving down my throat yet again!

You do what is right for you and yours and ignore what other people are doing. Bitching like this isnt going to change anything except get this website and its Mums a bad name. Oh and to whoever said BC mums wont survive on MN...shock horror... many have and are still doing so!

Oh dear

My LO is 13 weeks old and I have no intention of weaning him before 6 months but this is purely my own opinion. I would not put someone else down for having a different opionion to me. As a first time mother I have looked at many different websites since discovering I was pregnant, hoping to gain information and support for the life changing experience I was about to embark on. I have posted on Babycentre July 08 board since the spring and have also looked to Mumsnet for information. As far as I understood it the ethos of MN is:-

'Please bear in mind that issues to do with raising children can be very sensitive and that everyone has the right to make their own choices when it comes to bringing up their kids. This is a discussion forum and we ask you to respect other people's right to their opinions, even if you disagree with them. Our policy is to keep intervention to a minimum and let the conversation flow. Having said that, we will remove postings that are obscene, contain personal attacks or break the law. Please do bear in mind that we all know how difficult this parenting business can be, and if there's one thing all of us could do with, it's some moral support.'

I came across this discussion whilst looking for information under weaning. I was going to start a thread as I was invited to a weaning information session by HV today and wondered if anyone had done anything similar. But on opening this thread I was horrified and upset to see that I, as a member of BC July 08, was being called a chav and an eejit and basically being put down/slagged off by what is supposed to be a support network. Do you not think that perhaps you are making unfair judgements on people you have never met, based on your opinions of a handful of people?

I understand early weaning is a very emotive subject but do we really have to resort to insulting people like this?

Well said Olliesmum.
I am also a poster on BC July 08 and I must say that everybody has been extremely helpful and supportive throughout my pregnancy and up until now. There has never been any bitchiness until our board was crashed by Mrsjamin. Unfortunately Mrsjamin was just plain rude which was totally unecessary and upset alot of people.
I am also annoyed that as part of the July 08 board I (along with my friends) am being branded a chav. You do not know me or my opinions. We are all entitled to have an opinion and if that opinion is not the same as yours it does not make me a bad mum.
When I first joined BC I thought it would be full of bitchy, hormonal women but I was pleantly surprised. It seems that the bitchy, hormonal women are all members on mumsnet!

Well I'm not going to argue 'cos sometimes it's true - we may be 'bitchy and hormonal' (seen our full moon counter at the top?) but some of the best advice out there is given on MN. There are posters on here who really know their stuff, and who think its more important to be honest than 'nice'.

I saw what MrsJamin said and it was not rude, it was well informed, well expressed, and true. It is possible to disagree without it being a personal insult you know.

I refer you here for an example of MN at its best (and an informative, educated, and fascinating discussion on risk in relation to weaning).

AA, I understand about being honest rather than being 'nice' is sometime neccessary to get the point across but does calling people chavs and eejits going to encourage people to listen to advice?

Terrible grammar there! It should say does calling people chavs and eejits encourage people to lsten. Sorry!

I only managed two pages of the BC weaning thread. It is absolutely mind boggling that so many people can be so stunningly dense. People might argue on here about 4 or 6 months, but weaning at 10 weeks, wheat for a 13 week old and boasting about putting young babies down to sleep on their tummies or in other rooms???

Ye gods - a talk board that makes the usual drivel on MN seem like amazing examples of witty erudite debate

I just love the idea that you are not allowed to post if you have strong opinions... i thought that was the entire point of discussion forums.... anyway, I am now switching off my pc so that I don't go back to that site and wind myself up further....

No, calling people chavs and eejits isn't likely to encourage them to listen.

But you tell me what is? Some people are apparently intent on doing things that are exposing their baby to increased risk and I don't get why, and I can see how it might seem eejit-ish to others.

AA, I don't know what will make people listen and that is likely to be a question that can never be answered (unfortunately). Some people will happily listen to advice and take help but in everything (not just parenting) there are some people who will do things their own way. My only issue was the way things were being said about people.

HGH, it is human nature to have strong opinions and of course discussion forums are the perfect place for discussing them, but not at the expense of insulting people and belittling them for having different opinions to other people. I certainly have been known to have an opinion or two in my time

You lot are a complete load of halfwits who obviously have nothing better to do with your time than snoop & interfere in other peoples lives because your own are just too sad & boring.
I pity you & your poor children, if anyone is being neglectful to their kids its you bunch of nuts as you are all far to obsessed with spending your lives bothering about what everyone else is doing to properly care for them.
Yes we on July08 BB do have "nice fluffy" discussions this is because for us sane people BC is just something we use for a lighthearted chat now and again & we don't want to get into all this kind of shit (we are obviously satisfied with our normal lives!)
May I suggest that as reading our conversations bothers you so much that you stick to spending your time on here & leave us alone you sad losers.
BTW don't bother sending me your usuall argumentative replies as I will not be entering into a slanging match with you, (I unlike most of you actually have a life)just wanted to let you know how I feel & now I have I will be getting on with raising my beautiful children & posting on my nice fluffy BB.

Some people care about the well-being of other people's children. That's not half-witted, it's being a member of society.

Are you suggesting we dont care about other children?? we are not there to ridicule others peoples methods we all know that there are guidelines and im quite sure everyone on our board does but yes there are first time mothers who are going it alone and struggling with their children! and so i suggest unless you are/were in that situation then you have no right to comment! only they understand their children and they let them do what is best!! there are much worse treatments to children going on throughout the world - more important matters than weaning! its disgraceful to think our children will look back at this time and we tell them it caused great controversy its sad and pathetic i would think it silly of my mother if she'd have had this issue!!

And before you suggest that the board includes Chavs i would also take into account there are some Academics also posting on that board respectfully of others!

I suggest we keep to our own accord and you keep to yours if we have such contrasting ideals! Now start spending more time being a mother and less time talking about it! its pathetic!

Just sticking my oar in ...

I do not get as aerated as some in discussions of early weaning - DS1 was weaned at 20 weeks, DS2 at 26 weeks. DS1 was driving me demented with his demands for more bf's by 20 weeks (although looking back, I think this was an extended growth spurt, but coming on top of months of sleeplessness, it finished me off and I decided to wean early), DS2 wasn't, so it was pretty easy for me to get to 26 weeks with him, and I DO know what it's like when you really feel that milk is not enough, and those last few weeks to get to the 26-week mark feel impossible to get through.

But weaning at 10/11 weeks is just barking mad. I know the guidelines are "only" guidelines, but so are the dosing instructions on the back of the Calpol bottle and I doubt you'd get many people thinking "Oh, no, I won't pay any attention to those, I'll give my 3-month-old a much bigger dose because she's having so much trouble with her teeth and I know my baby best" surely?

I also post on BC (so shoot me) and am lucky enough to be on a genuinely friendly birth board with some very sensible women (not "ladies" - yuck!) posting good advice. But I also lurk on DS2's birth board (he is 8mo), and this had masses of people rushing to wean at the earliest possible opportunity, and the usual asinine "You know your bubba best, hunni" sort of stuff.

You talk sense MTFC but not me I'm afraid!

Does the feb06 mod talk much sense then? might come hang out there

Yes, co-mod on Feb06 is lovely. And lives in the Highlands, obviously, hence my nerdily eager greeting to you!

Well, hello anyway.