Baby making a mess with food in cafes - is it ok?

[Squirrel81]

DC is 11 months old and majority of time when I am weaning he wants to feed himself via BLW.

When DH and I go out at weekends we have 3 hour window including travel time as DC does not sleep out or in the car - only at home.

As such, giving him lunch before we leave doesn’t give us enough time so we tend to go and get a coffee and feed him there.

Problem is, due to BLW he makes a lot of mess on the floor. I tend to give him something like pasta and some pieces of fruit/tomato along side it (but obviously varies).

First few times I would get on my hands and knees and clean up the floor after he ate but cafe floors are pretty dismal and a couple of times I’ve been told by the waiter don’t worry they will clean it up but only in very select cafes.

Question is, is it socially acceptable to leave cafe having made a mess feeding baby? I don’t want to be rude or inconsiderate. Thoughts & tips?

I think your intial approach was right. Make an effort to clear up, asking for a dustpan and brush if necessary. If they tell you not to worry then fair enough. Apologise. Leave a good tip.
Just walking away from a big mess is not on.

I had a square of oil cloth and used to put it on the floor of anywhere messy dd was eating.Didn’t need it for DS. All food went directly into his gob-no wastage!

Yes you should clean up what you can. I would pick any obvious bits off the floor in a tissue and give the table/tray a quick once over with a baby wipe. Sometimes staff would rush over saying no need but I think it was still appreciated that I hadn't just assumed they would clean up after baby.

No. Especially If the food wasn't even purchased there. Just ask for a broom once you've finished your meal. If they don't want you to do it then they don't have to let you but it's much more polite to assume you clean up after your baby.

When I take my grandson out, I wipe up with a baby wipe and put it in a nappy sack to dispose of at home.

I used to lunch with my sil and the kids, her youngest would make such a mess on the floor and she would leave it. More often than not I found myself on the floor cleaning it up because I was so embarrassed by leaving it and walking out. I do think leaving it is very unreasonable.

As an aside, I have a dd with food allergies so I do understand bringing the babies food with you but I think this can only be acceptable for a short time when they're babies, at say 18 months they should probably be eating off a children's menu or such like.

No it’s not okay to leave any mess, I get on the floor with a napkin and baby wipes and clean it up.

I also think bringing your own food to a cafe is a bit of a no no

Yes make sure you buy food - I think very time just ask them for the broom and then you will get your answer

although obviously best to do it yourself

Why even ask? Obviously it's a disgusting habit.
Volunteer for baby snc toddler groups as a helper and clean up after then you'll underrsrandwhy what your expecting is entitled.

Question is, is it socially acceptable to leave cafe having made a mess feeding baby? I don’t want to be rude or inconsiderate. Thoughts & tips?

I can't quite believe I've read this from a grown woman.

And with regards to pasta or any other mushy foods that people can walk by and slip on, you should be on top of that immediately, and not just before you leave.

I've had similar thoughts at work when dining out with adults (various disabilities). As hard as we try to assist them there is almost always some mess on the floor.
We ALWAYS attempt to clear it up and 99% of the time we will be told not to worry about it but we would never just leave it.
Might be different in the UK this time of year but we've found some lovely cafes/pubs with outdoor seating that takes away a lot of the stress.

Get one of those catch all bibs so nothing falls onto the floor (they stick onto the table/high chair and then you can roll the mess up.

If you must take your own food (rather than sharing what you have) take non-messy stuff - there is plenty to choose from if BLW.

I can’t believe you even have to ask this

It should really be that an employee wipes the table after each customer and does a quick dust pan and brush job if needed. I always used to pick up the big bits and leave them on our plates as that was waste for the bin anyway.

But, it’s more and more common that the cafes are understaffed these days and even in the ‘nicer’ ones they’re not even cleaning the tables between customers so I think given the current climate you should be giving it a bit of a clean yeah.

I actually think it’s appalling to bring your own food to a cafe to begin with. Sure everyone might bring a snack or some puffs or something, but a full on pasta meal? If your baby is eating food like this you can find plenty at a cafe and then at least you’re paying your way. And yes, leave it how you found it (close anyway!) as you do anywhere else.

personally I’d also think through what you’re feeding in public in this short super messy stage.

I also agree you can’t bring food to cafes for an 11 month old, they’re perfectly able to have food that’s from the cafe. I did it for my 7.5 month old, I just got him some toast!

Also yes you should try and clean up the mess as best you can.

I always cleaned up after DS at cafes, but I also didn't bring my own food! If your DC is old enough to be eating pasta, they can certainly have something off a cafe menu.

I would also get told not to worry about the mess sometimes. I think they would prefer to do it themselves - they will do a quick clean after a customer anyway and would probably prefer to get on with that without having to wait for you to finish cleaning.

I tend to return the table the way it would have been without a baby. So few bits on the table is fine as I would expect them to clear and clean the table, but they wouldn't normally need to sweep under the chair for instance. So I pick up any food on the floor so that it's acceptable to whoever comes next.

That said, there are a few times I've had to leave it and just apologised to the staff (toddlers' tantrums!).

(Edit: we definitely brought food with us at 11 months. It's hard enough to find appropriate food now for our 2 yo. Food options for kids in the UK are terrible).

Baked beans is a good shout most 11m old will eat them, or a plain cheese sandwich. I have been known to lick the salt of cafe chips before feeding them to my weaning baby too. All a long time ago now though they are in their 20's but no you can't bring your own food.

I did BLW and I'm very familiar with the mess it creates. I always bought food for DC in the cafe etc that we were in (kinda the benefit of BLW), I'd then get on my hands and knees and scoop up what we could and asked a member of staff if I could use a broom to clear up the rest. Normally most would tell me not to worry but I always offered.

I agree - you clear up, and 11 months is a bit old for bringing your own food - it's not as if you're just starting to wean. If there's nothing suitable at that cafe find another one - but usually cafe food is pretty easy for babies.

Absolutely piss taking behaviour from you OP. BLW doesn't need to happen everywhere. Take things you can spoon feed, but if they're on "real" food, you should be buying from the cafe. I'd take snacks orr supplimentary food but you should get something nominal for him.

OP I cannot believe you actually have the audacity to think you can make a mess on the floor with your own food and just leave it?!

We have always picked up any food that has ended up on the floor from our baby. I'd feel like a massive bitch if I didn't at least try to clean most of it up.

I’m always that mum on her hands and knees trying to get up every last bit of food. It’s just good manners, even when I’ve been told not to worry I do my best to remove any trace of chaos from wherever we’ve been sat.

It’s rude. Especially if you aren’t even buying food there & are just having a coffee & leaving a mess. Excuses on “time frames” don’t justify it.

I did blw too & often ate out of the house & yes it can be messy but i used to place something under the high chair to catch most of it & would then shake it off / sweep up when i was done. Even when staff said to leave it i didn’t as it was our mess.