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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

3 HVs advised me to wean at 21 weeks - looking for support or otherwise

125 replies

Bethbe · 18/04/2007 20:43

Have always planned to wean DS1 at 6 months (a week late actually to have a bf camping trip), but my DS1 has changed his feeding behaviour and now on three seperate occassions a HV has suggested that it could be time for something else.

LO has always been a hungry baby, - has been drinking between 11-13oz EBM for evening feed since I first began expressing when he was 4 weeks old. He has always loved his food and has always fed on the breast aggressively and focussed, not playing or using me as a dummy.

He is also very physically developed. I've never had to hold his head, and he has been able to stand supported since birth. He's not particularly fat, but he is a bit of a bruiser.

Over the past couple of weeks he has began to get very fussy on the breast. He's been wanting to feed all the time, but when I put him on he keeps pulling off (dragging my nipple) and crying and then does a quick scream and re-latches for a couple of sucks and then pulls off again.

The above is all that I have told the HVs, but in addition:

He is also a human canabal, munching on any part of my (or my DHs) body that he can get his mouth near.

I know he can swallow, because he munches and swallows both his regurgetated milk that comes back up, and flem from his recent colds.

He makes swipes at my food (but I think this is probably more out of interest than to feed).

I've been following many of the weaning threads to guide me and many suggest that there is no harm in waiting, but if it is true that he needs more than what I am giving and the battle and misery that it would take to wait, then surely it would be more harmful to wait.

One of my worries though, is that the reason for our frustrated and unhappy feeding is being overlooked if indeed weaning is not the answer.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Thanks!

OP posts:
mears · 20/04/2007 20:48

Bethbe - why do you not try just feeding him directly from the breast in the evening. You may well find that he will sleep for just as long now. At least until you have stocked upp on more EBM. It would be a real shame to give a large formula feed at this time because it really isn't necessary. By feeding him directly you will also be boosting your milk supply - expressing does not stimulate milk production as much.

AitchTwoOh · 20/04/2007 20:53

this is a dense suggestion probably (i didn't bf for very long) but there was a period around that time when dd became insufferable when getting her nappy changed. i used to stick baby einstein on... not perfect parenting but she did calm down. i wonder if simply sending him into a tv trance might stop him thrashing?

AitchTwoOh · 20/04/2007 20:55

also, to be completely clear about the fact that i said i might give dd a bit of carrot... by give i mean put it in front of her and nothing else. no picking it up or anything.

cori · 20/04/2007 21:17

I weaned DS at 6 months as advised but am wondering where the evidence is to support this advice.
Have jsut read an article here that says there is no evidence to suggest weaning after 17 weeks is harmful in developed countries. I did notice that this article is a few years old though.

AitchTwoOh · 20/04/2007 21:20

there have been a couple of Very Long Threads on this recently. have a wee look, Cori.

chilledmama · 20/04/2007 22:04

Bethbe- This may be ubsurd but if its the pain thats getting you down and leading to angst about weaning...have you tried protecting your nipples from >>>wincing

mears · 21/04/2007 11:56

Have you tried a breastfeeding necklace? THrashing about is a phase that will stop.

mears · 21/04/2007 11:58

Necklaces can be used to stop babies getting distracted here

Original poster
Bethbe · 21/04/2007 21:07

Wow, - didn't know bf necklaces existed. Do they work? A bit pricey though.

LO's feeding still a bit mad. Only three 'proper' feeds today. 40 mins bf in morning, 45 mins at 6:30pm and just now 17oz EBM. He had the occassional snack of 3-4 mins but messed around. He messed around during the long feeds too, but only for the first 10-15 mins and then he settled down.

I really don't understand what's going on, - he used to feed every 2-3 hours for 20mins in a determined and focussed way.

Chilled, - I've heard of the shield but it never occurred to me. BF has never been painful before, - even at the beginning - Madwives were asking me how were my boobs and I thought it was the stupidest question ever - 'er...excuse me but I've just had a baby come out of my fanny - THAT was pain - NOTHING compares........'!

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 21/04/2007 22:09

i think they're rather nice... what makes them different from a normal necklace, mears?

mears · 22/04/2007 17:31

No idea to be honset! You could make your own. I think they are just sturdier.

Bethbe - if he is not feeding asa frequently, I persononally would stop the EMB till he gets back on track. You will also need to up your expressing for missed feeds as your supply may well drop which can lead to him getting frustrated at the breast.

You haven't started wearing new deodorant or perfume at all? That can put babies off. Also, avoid nipple nipple shields if you can, they can reduce milk production even more as nipple stimulation is reduced. Milk transfer to the baby is also slower.

If your nipples are painful, don't discount thrush. If pain is definitely due to tugging you may need quieter surroundings for feeds for a while to lessen distractions. They get really nosey.

SoupDragon · 22/04/2007 17:35

I made my own (not very stylish it has to be said!) out of a length of Scoubidou plastic and some cheap ELC beads! I put the beads on, tied the plastic strand so they were on a small loop then knotted the ends of the strand so it fitted over my head and reched the appropriate height. I didn't wear it in public but DD did like to try and garott me with it whilst she fed.

Original poster
Bethbe · 22/04/2007 20:42

Mears, - thanks so much....that makes a lot of sense.

Something that never occurred to me that my supply might be being effected. I realise now that the 'messing around' has coincided with my stopping the evening express.

That means that at night he gets what I expressed in the morning instead of a feed. I suppose it's very possible that that is reducing my supply and frustrating him!?

Maybe I'll try feeding him myself in the evening or using EBM via dh and expressing too.

Thanks again -- gives me some hope.
-----

As an aside, - I tried hand expressing this morning. Was surprised it wasn't as difficult as I thought although I can't imagine expressing 14oz whilst simultaneously typing on mumsnet - as I do with a pump. May just be down to practice though!

OP posts:
mears · 23/04/2007 11:00

That would be a sight to behold! I am sure you will be able to sort thsi out - sounds as though you have an incredible milk supply!

Original poster
Bethbe · 24/04/2007 10:12

Yep, I have a GREEDY LO who doubled his birth weight (7lb 9oz) at 10 weeks. My HV at the time suggested I might need to see a dietician. Thankfully I see this HV no more!

Went to the clinic yesterday and have been referred to a HV who is a bfc. Appoinment is tomorrow morning!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bethbe · 25/04/2007 21:35

To update you!

Went to see the HV/BF councillor today and had an hour of her time. She asked me loads of questions and watched a feed.

Her conclusion: Begin weaning but don't substitute breast milk for formula!

So, - I guess I'm gonna give it a go with the wallpaper paste tomorrow.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 25/04/2007 23:00

gawd, sorry to be a pain but where's the reserach that suggests rice is better than formula? did she say why?

Original poster
Bethbe · 25/04/2007 23:07

I don't think she was suggesting that rice was better than formula, - just that I should keep breastfeeding and use breastmilk in the rice mix rather than giving up breastfeeding and using formula in the mix

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 25/04/2007 23:17

oh right, i didn't realise that that was the two options. you're deffo better off sticking with the bfing, that's for sure.

Original poster
Bethbe · 25/04/2007 23:25

Yeah, - I didn't know there were options either!

Actually, - I do trust this HV/BFC but there is still a bit of a niggle about the weaning thing. I really was planning to leave it until 6 months (apart from anything else - I have a phobia that makes me freak when anything 'sticky' gets on my skin - (including breast milk )) - - -

She told me that in exceptional circumstances some babes are ready early, - but she never actually told me what those circumstances were - does anyone know????

I got a bit freaked out when she talked about naturally occuring sugar in fruit (for in a couple of weeks) and started picturing candyfloss.

I find candyfloss very scary, - and no my child will NEVER be given any!

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 25/04/2007 23:33

what did she think of what mears had said about your supply?

Aloha · 25/04/2007 23:33

I am convinced from what I have read that there is no evidence of harm at weaning at 22 weeks instead of 26, but it has to be up to you. I waited around six months with dd. HOWEVER, I bet this is teething behaviour. Offer a bit of mashed up banana if you like, or ride it out and wait to see if a speck of white appears on his gums.

Original poster
Bethbe · 25/04/2007 23:42

She said she didn't think supply was really the problem as I moved to expressing once per day instead of two, because I can now get the full 14oz for his night-time ebm feed in just one go (I didn't used to)!

Oh, I forgot to say, - she gave me some moulding clay and told me to sit him on my lap and pretend to eat it while she watched.

He followed it and apparently opened his mouth when I opened mine!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bethbe · 25/04/2007 23:45

Aitch - I don't thank you for getting me thinking about candyfloss again! - and just before bedtime - I'll probably have nightmares.

OMG It's summer and I'll probably have to spend many seaside trips crossing the road back and forth - and don't get me started on piers.............

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 25/04/2007 23:46

wow! and so she took that as proof that he's ready, did she? i wonder what that's based on? i find all this stuff very interesting in a geeky sort of a way.