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I've just returned from a week's holiday with the in-laws. Never ever ever again.

138 replies

sandyballs · 03/07/2006 13:27

I need at least another week's holiday to get over it. How I managed to stay reasonably calm and not give her a serious bollocking, I will never know. The woman is completely barking. A few examples:

  • when we arrived at our holiday cottage she was flaked out on the sofa, fanning herself, in a foul mood because she "doesn't do travelling". It was Hampshire FFS, not Australia. It was 2 hours in the car!

  • she is manically, obsessively tidy. I couldn't go for a pee without her plumping up my cushion or putting my half finished coffee in the dish washer.

  • she didn't like my DDs to get a single speck of dirt on them the entire holiday and everything had to coordinate. She would whip off a t-shirt if she saw a crumb on it. Unfortunately this wound me up so much that it made me go to the opposite extreme and I took them to quite a smart restaurant in grubby purple shorts, long stripey yellow socks, and a green t-shirt with a bit of lunch on it, just to piss her off. It worked .

  • she decided to go for a swim when we were at the beach one day, even though she can't actually swim. The result being that I had to swim out to rescue her in my shorts and t-shirt, whilst my DDs screamed hysterically at the waters edge, thinking nana was drowning. I had no other clothes with me, but MIL didn't want to go back to our cottage, she was too traumatised, so we had to sit on the beach for another 2 hours and talk about her near-miss and how she saw a white light .

  • on the last morning I wandered into the kitchen, reached for the bread and she screamed "What are you doing". "Err, having some toast", I replied. So she screamed "Noooo you're not, I've cleaned the grill", and she slapped my hand .

God I could go on and on .... it's endless. I won't bore you any more, but it's been quite therapeutic writing this.

OP posts:
moondog · 06/07/2006 21:29

wot a twat!

sugarfree · 06/07/2006 21:30

Blo-dddyyyy 'ellll!

eemie · 06/07/2006 21:47

All those of you who are dishing the dirt on the in-laws are performing a public service.

Thank you

My anger and hatred for my MIL are still painful even now she is incapacitated and no longer any kind of threat.

Humour and sympathy are the best defence - and I can't speak highly enough of Les Dawson in this regard ("The doorbell rang - I knew it were her - 'cos the mice were all throwing theirselves in the traps").

Sandy, aitch, teabags, crackle and the rest of you are now in my MIL hall of fame.

Won't bore you with my stories, they're too bitter and unfunny - but believe me I do appreciate yours. Thanks all.

saltire · 21/07/2006 14:20

I have just read this thread. Oh sandyballs, you have my sympathy. We went on holiday with the IL's a couple of years ago. NEVER again.
It was their suggestion, that we share the hire of a holiday cottage, but
"It will have to be in Scotland as i'm not keen on England". The plan was that we would share the food and go our own seperate ways every day. HUH.
We didn't arrive till the follwing day, because we were at a wedding.

The house was non smoking - so that was a problem.

It was on the shores of Loch Linne - what if there's a tidal wave and we all get washed away!

They had gone shopping on the day we arrived, against my wishes cos i know what MIL is like, the two things she are obsessed with are cleaning and shopping. They spent - wait for this - £245 in Safeway in Fort William. On 6 of us for a week. The thing is we had to go out every day and get soemthing in for the evening meal. Amongst the things MIL bought were, clothes pegs, three bottles of bleach,two bottles of toilet cleaner, three bottles of flash liquid , a tin of polish, dusters, scouring pads, floor cloths, and dish washing brush. now the cloths, dusters etc were already provided, but she didn't like them cos the were Tesco own brand and not Vileda. There was also toilet roll provided, ditto Tesco own, so she bought Andrex. Same with kitchen roll, it wasn't bounty, so she didn't want it. i asked her to buy yogs, cartons of juice etc for DS for picninc - never got them.
So we had to cough up£123 pounds out of our holiday budget.

Every where we wnet they came too, along with the comments
"we've already been here, can't we go somewhere else"
My response was
"well go off on your own then". We couldn't go any where until she had cleaned the place form top to bottom - hoovering the whole cottage, washing the floor, cleaning the windows etc etc.

They wouldn't even babysit for one night for us to go and sample Ft Williams nightlife. She sat every night watching tv and not joining in walks along the shore.
The final straw for me ( and it sounds really petty i know) was when i opened a bottle of flavoured water, and was pouring myself a drink
"Hey, that's mine" she said
"Oh, i was under the impression that since i had given you over £100 in money for food, that i could drink or eat whatever i wanted in this house"
I promptly poured the whole lot over the floor and stormed off!
On the day we left, there was a lot of stuff left (no surprise she'd bought enough for an army). We were packing up and i was trying to share things out, and she was grabbing things saying
"that's mine, my half of the money bought that"

sandyballs · 02/08/2006 13:03

Blimey Saltire - she sounds a mare .

OP posts:
Han4Dan · 02/08/2006 13:06

OMG!!!! i really don't know how you coped with that,

Have you ever read the book 'the little house' by phillipa gregory; sounds exactly like that.

Crackle · 02/08/2006 13:35

OMG, what a nightmare.

This thread has caused a lot of trouble in our family. Two weeks ago someone in our extended family had a birthday. My FIL decided that it would be a great time to have afamily gathering. No matter that it is our busiest time of year, we have staffing issues and he wanted us to drive hundreds of miles on southcoast holiday-route roads on the day that the schools broke up.

I put my foot down and said to my dh that much as I loved him, I wasn't going. My dh tried to revise the plan to be a day trip only a little nearer to our side of the country but rebuked. He was also ordered to send a cheque for £130 for our part of 'the costs'.

I felt really awful as I could see that my dh was wrestling with what to do.

In the end, a week before the 'event', he phoned his dad and said that we weren't going.

Much shouting from FIL.

Over the next few days I had lots of phone calls from the rest of the family confirming that nobody actually wanted to go.

Nobody went.

My dh will be flying up with the boys on his own for a short visit sometime next month and that.is.that.

fairyjay · 02/08/2006 13:40

My PIL are coming stay for a week. After reading these, I think they might seem almost normal. If not, and it's worse than I remember, I'll report back

mother3 · 29/08/2006 21:55

think your mil needs treatment.keep away from her.GOOD LUCk DONT BLAME THEM GOING TO THE PUB.SHAME THEY COULDNT TAKE YOU AND LEAVE HER TO HER CLEANING

threebob · 29/08/2006 22:07

I wonder if there is place called motherinlawsnet where at this moment your MIL is getting sympathetic messages to her "my dil can't even dress her dd's in matching outfits" thread?

goldendelicious · 29/08/2006 22:53

What an ace thread. More threads like this one please!!!

Must admit my PIL aren't as bad as some of the ones mentioned on here but MIL has a few 'undisclosed' problems with me - I think these are mainly: -

  1. I'm not good enough for DH;
  2. I don't have a good enough job;
  3. I aren't the perfect size 10 (i'm a 14) nor am I of good height (i'm five foot n' a fart);
  4. I'm not in the slightest eensy weensy bit posh;
  5. I was brought up on a council estate (actually a very nice one but that doesn't matter!)

Can you gather that she's a bit of a snob?!?

She tries to be discreet about it but even if I am any of the above things, one thing I definately aren't is STUPID!!!

Crackle · 29/08/2006 23:16

This is possibly the best thread ever.

I am delighted to report that we shall be going to a family christening in two weeks where, no doubt, my fil will make a huge scene.

Joy!

lemonysnickett · 29/08/2006 23:53

At the risk of turning this into Les Dawson re runs:
Doctor tells woman ..you have only 6 months to live... after giving her time to let it sink in he asks ....what will you do?
I'm going to move in with my mother in law she replies.
Are you sure that is how you want to spend your last 6 months... he asks
YEs replies the woman...I might not enjoy it..but it will be the longest 6 months of my life!

Couldn't resist...the stories are hilarious.

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