No I could never be an executioner. I can think of nothing worse.
So, my Grandad’s experience…
He was a hard man from the slums who fought on the streets for the Communists in the early 1930s, & was actually paid to fight Moseley’s Blackshirts.. which he enjoyed as my Grandad’s main hobby as a young man was getting drunk and fighting.
He then joined the army which meant more drinking and fighting as well as learning to fire guns & drive tanks.. he loved it.
But during ww2 he fought in Burma.. and sadly many of his comrades including his best mate of many years were killed in front of him by the Japanese soldiers.. or were taken prisoner and murdered in horrible ways / treated very badly - so my Grandad began to get a real hatred for the Japanese soldiers and, like many others, felt the enemy were like monsters, with no humanity.
He even brought home ‘trophies’ from dead enemy soldiers (a Japanese diary, a Japanese woman’s photo, some occupation yen).. many soldiers do this in wars unfortunately, it’s a well known practice.
One awful day as the British tanks advanced, a Japanese soldier charged his tank, shooting at the small gap my Grandad was looking through so he could see to drive the tank. And unfortunately he had no choice but to run over the enemy soldier as the tank was advancing so fast.
Then my Grandad had to wash down the tank tracks on his return to base.
He lived with that all his life. On his return from the war he had constant nightmares where he would hit out at his wife. Then in his old age he got dementia and every time I saw him, which was almost weekly, he would relive that enemy soldier’s death & the guilt he felt. Despite the fact that an enemy sniper had shot his best mate next to him, & he had so much hatred for the Japanese, he regretted killing that soldier to the end of his life.
And he’d been a hard man, from a hard background.
Similarly, a friend knows veterans of more current wars who have been Marines etc & who trained to kill as a profession.. & who often now suffer with regret & PTSD.
So, I really think most people would struggle with the reality of being an executioner.