Was I rude to painter?

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Plastered my flat and got quotes to paint it. Three decorators said it needs a mist coat. They also quoted between £6k and £10k.

The fourth decorator quoted £4k. I asked about the mist coat and they said they didn't know what it was and it was a made up term but to instead use a primer coat.

I sent them an article, all very polite, about the differences between the mist and primer and i got a very angry, rage quitting message back telling me if i am the expert i should paint it myself.

This happened over message. i never met him as my partner was in when he came to quote but he said he was cold and short with him.

Was I rude?

No, he was.

Yes, you were rude. He told you how he would do the job, you didn't want it done that way. You should've just left it and not gone with someone who didn't know what they were doing.

He was rude, but I wouldn't have bothered to send him any articles. He obviously doesn't know what he is talking about, so I would have avoided using him. No need to try and correct him, just say no thanks I am going with someone else, and move on

I think it was very rude of you to effectively tell the decorator how to do his job.

I mean if you didn't like their approach to the job, then go with a different tradesperson. It is rude to start lecturing a 'professional' about his work methods when you haven't even employed him.
He obviously wasn't a professional - as could be seen by his quote and the work he was proposing to carry out, so you say thanks but no thanks and move on.

Yes you were rude.

Yes you were fucking rude. Imagine sending him an article!

And he's right - it's a made up term.

Pay 6-10k and be right then

Was there any need to send him the article? Did you think he was going to thank you for enlightening him?

Were you contacting him to say you'd like to hire him, or just to make your point?

Why send him an article ? Just either decide you are ok with primer or you are not. It's OK to ask him a question about the merits of primer. But the article seemed a bit rage bait

I do think you were rude to send an article to him. I don't see the point of sending it. To prove you were right? Not your place to be educating him on his trade. It is particularly rude considering you never met the man.

It really isn’t. My family’s in the building trade and I’ve heard it used plenty of times by other trades people.

Lol well you obviously wanted it done how the expensive ones said but for a lower price 🫣
Move on and either pick up the paintbrush yourself and do it slowly for cheaper or get a few more quotes. Mist coat is a mix of normal pure brilliant white paint and water as a first coat over bare plaster
Then your normal coats of whatever colour over the top

When I couldn't afford painters I just did a wall at a time once kids were in bed until weekends when family or dh could do it alongside. I also only ever did the hallway pure brilliant white so no faff of cutting in over the stairs. I've always had dados or panelling in hallways so I get my colour fix under the rail. I quite like a white house

so his english was poor and he admitted there was a language barrier. i was wanting to move ahead with him as he's the only one i could afford. I also wanted the mist coat as i know its the correct thing to do on fresh plaster. So i wanted to clarify that his primer he meant what i meant by mist coat. The article clarified the difference between them.

On first meeting with OP's partner, he was 'rude and short' with him...that's pretty rude for a start.
He then said he didn't know what a mist coat was, so how would he know if it was made up or not?
He was definitely rude.
Personally, on first meeting I wouldn't have considered him, I don't like rude, abrupt people, but sometimes price is a factor.

we put it down to cultural differences him being cold and short. We weren't really in a position to pay more for a better personality fit! He has 5 star reviews.

I can't believe you sent a painter an article on how to paint

It’s really really not.

his english was very poor and he didn't understand the term mist coat which is a very well known term in painting and decorating. He used the term primer. So due to the language barrier i needed to know if we were all on the same page and using different terminology or if he was not a good fit.

I don't think you were rude. You were prepared to use him if it was simply a language barrier, pity he took offence.

You were patronising. He was rude.

better you don't work together.

What you did was basically mansplaining - except you're a woman.

If you didn't like his approach or didn't trust he could do the job then you choose someone else. He was probably significantly cheaper because he's not going to do it right.

I recently didn't go with a roofer because he couldn't answer questions about materials, I didn't send him articles about it, I just didn't proceed.

I wouldn't have been offended by that at all.

You can't win when getting any tradesman work done.
You ask questions and they throw their toys out of the pram.
You don't ask questions and you get called stupid for believing what the tradesman told you.
Boils my piss so it does.

4k to paint a flat? Am i reading that right?

You were rude, even if you were right - his low price reflects his way of paining and surely you can either accept that or go with the painter with a higher quite which includes a mist