Where do I start when everything in life needs changing?

[Feelinglow2026]

I am at the stage where major changes are needed but it all seems too much. In summary:

1. I am 6 stone overweight. I do a lot of walking but very little other exercise. I used to be pretty sporty and miss being competitive. Im struggling with joint pain and easy mobility now.
2. I live rurally and will find it hard to move due to elderly parents to care for although this care is currently minimal (will get more over coming years i think).
3. Due to rural living, im horrifically lonely but crave both peace and quiet and a busy life full of people. I am full of contradictions. I have no local friends, just a few acquaintances who I rarely see.
4. I am highly likely autistic but do not want a diagnosis as I love travel and feel that the world is increasingly against anyone with differences. I doubt it'll be long before places like America don't want neurodiverse people visiting.
5. I work remotely which doesn't help. I've been looking for alternatives for some time. I feel like im at the beck n call at work and hate it.
6. I jump from hobby to hobby, job to job with no staying power.
7. Im a procrastinstor and often spend days just watching TV series. Im decisioned out/burnt out and get to the end of the day hating that I've done nothing.
8. I've never had a longterm relationship and im past child bearing age.
9. Im depressed but don't want medication. It hasn't helped much before.

10. I worry about retirement with little money and only 9k saved and a small pension. I have no partner's pension as a backup. I spend far too much money on food and not enough on fun. If I book something fun I often back out. 11. I'm not doing self care. I'm ugly as I'm fat, wear awful clothes because they're comfy, have wrinkles galore, my hair is scruffy despite a recent cut, my skin looks pale and lacks any glow. My whole body hurts. 12. I really struggle socially.

Where the heck do I start?

I actually tick a lot of your boxes too! How old are you?

I am going to be brutally honest and rational with you that your biggest priorory in your 40s and 50s is your pension. The time that your savings has to compound is higher.

I would evaluate your earning potential or any side hustles, but first to help you with that I highly recommend doing the free Rebel Finance School course. They also have regional groups that meet up so this could provide a social avenue with people with shared ambitions (of retiring one day!). You will feel way better knowing that is taken care of.

Second priority is physical health as no point reaching old age if no health. Joint pain will ease with weight loss.

Mental health is easy to address as you clearly know what is causing it - isolation and habits.

However isolation is insidious and it will keep you in a downward circle. So start with being around people more - a coffee shop, a library. Go regularly. Find an online group. Find an in person weekly hobby you can get to.

Just change one thing at a time.

I'm 47

Have read all of your posts OP, not read all the replies.

If i was in your position, I would be gentle with myself, I would afford myself the grace that I give other people.
When I make mistakes, I would tell myself that nobody is perfect and making mistakes is ok, I would think what I would say to a friend and say that to myself.

Secondly, I would get outside every single day, whether thats in the garden or a walk.

Thirdly, I would reach out to people, say hello to people I come across, ask about their dog, compliment something I like about them. Only last week, I told a lady in the post office that I adore the character on her top. Reaching out is so good for your social meter.

Fourth, I would look for ways to help other people, doesnt have to be in big ways, but some sort of contribution to your community or neighbours.

Fifth, I would prioritise sleep.

Sixth, I would discover why I eat crap. Do I eat it when I am feeling low, bored, stressed, happy?

All of those things will hugely improve your mental health and help lift you up.
When your mental health is better, you will find the physical stuff easier to do.

I wasn't sure what it would achieve either, but it changed a lot when it happened.

You can exercise consistently, but movement is only one part of the picture. Nutrition plays a major role in results you see and in how you feel every day. Through studying the gut-brain axIs, I learned that food affects far more than our weight, It supports our energy, digestion, metabolic health, and the way our gut communicates with our brain. I would try out Eat For It Nutrition , it will be worth your while.

I am 46. You have got time still regarding the pension. Throw your efforts behind it from now until 50 to improve your financial situation of saving more.