To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

It might be for you, it isn't for everyone.

You just need to put more thought into the kind of car you buy. My car is 16 years old. It has a full service every year. It’s a very reliable model. I’ve owned it outright for 16 years. It costs me £30 per year to tax, and £150 per year to insure. I’ve saved tens of thousands over the years by owning a reliable car outright and looking after it. Why Brits are obsessed with having a £30,000 brand new car on the drive, I’ve no idea. My dad was a mechanic. He taught me early on in life what sort of car to choose and never to put one on finance.

I’m the only driver in our home, I recently sold our car as we hadn’t used it in months, and even then it was only being used to check the battery as I kept forgetting to unplug it.

Wow, aren't you clever 🙄

Most people look for as reliable a vehicle as possible and get them serviced every year.

You've just been lucky.

I don't know anyone who talks about driving the way the people around you seem to.

For me it is invaluable, where I live and work and getting to dds hobbies and driving nice places to walk the dog and loads of places not even closely accessible by public transport. But I've never met anyone who acts like driving is some kind of religion

💯

I suppose I have never really thought of it as in any way hyped. Just one of those things you learn to do - it's not that hard. I don't really look back and have it as any more of a life event than learning to ride a bike or learning Pythagoras theorem. I never come across anyone who has been particularly impressed that I learnt to drive.

I’ve been driving for 32 years and I absolutely love it so I regularly just do it for pleasure. For me, nothing makes me feel more alive than just me, my car and the open road. All the stress of the day melts away and I feel such a sense of calm.
As soon as my kids passed their tests, I got rid of my family car and bought myself a sports car and a few weeks ago, at the grand age of 50, I took my race test and became a qualified racing driver.
People are all different, so for some driving is just a means to get somewhere and for others it’s a hobby, a way of life, and a massive pleasure. And that’s okay 🙂

Eight attempts? Blimey.

I couldn’t wait to pass my test and did at 17 first time. I’ve had a car and licence for almost 37 years. I’d hate to be without a car.

my kids do clubs at night and to get them there and back without a car would cost a fortune in taxis. I grudge paying for a taxi and hate public transport.

Not really. I don’t drive because I don’t need to, but if I needed to then I would learn.

I work from home most of the time, and when I go into the office I get a bus or train. So does everyone else where I live, regardless of whether or not they have a car, because traffic is awful and there’s nowhere to park. There would be absolutely no point in me paying tax and insurance to have a car rusting on the drive that I might use once a month, if that.

Maybe I’ll learn someday if I decide to move somewhere rural, but it’s likely to become an obsolete skill in the next 20 years.

Right.

I haven’t had anyone say anything to me except for one person from my kids’ school because they saw me walking to a shop that was 30 minutes away. I have no issue with walking such distances especially on a Saturday in nice weather and have walked that long and longer for most of my life because I enjoy walking and prefer taking public transport over being in a car. I have made the conscious decision to live and work in places that I don’t need a car even if that means paying more in rent because it would still be cheaper than having and maintaining a car. I know how to drive. I just simply didn’t feel the freedom so many drivers claim nor really enjoy being in a car whether I’m a driver or a passenger. It is just one of the ways to get from point a to point b to me and that’s it. I’d happily take a train than spend hours on the motorway.

Even if I did drive, it wouldn’t be relaxing to me or necessarily better because oldest is nonverbal autistic who gets upset in the car without warning even with his ear defenders on, would try to open the car door if he wasn’t in the backseat where child’s lock are, take off his seatbelt while driving, etc.

Of course I could go out in a car on my own but then having seen the way drivers are in my area and beyond, I rather not.

I don’t get why it bothers some drivers on here that some choose not to drive especially when they don’t rely on others and make their way to wherever they need to be on time.

Wouldn’t you want less people on the road?

But even then you have your music, snacks, drinks etc. You can open and close the windows and not be bothered by other people.
At some point you have a choice as to route. Last time I went on a train we had to get off three stops early ( 25 miles from the destination). Had to get picked up by car

Its about mindset and experience though isnt it. Do you believe non drivers live in a tiny bubble in the centre of cities? We get where we need to go. Might take a little longer, sometimes, might have to walk a bit farther but its cheaper, way better for the environment and for some, the only option.

I will say I have heard far more complaints about people not being able to get to a certain place driving because of traffic, parking or their world stopping because the car is broken. Whereas people who rely on public transport are more used to thinking up an alternative.

Horses for courses. Although the more that use it at least sometimes, the better public transport will get.

I love my car. I love being able to drive.

But the novelty has worn off at this stage. It bores the tits clean off me. I have a 30 minute drive to work each day that is only tolerable due to Audible.

This said it would maybe be easier to have a car and it would definitely open up more job opportunities. However I dont and its not the end of the world. In my road only two people have a car.

Bet you can't knit on your commute though 😆

I love driving. It has given me a lot of freedom. My DB passed first time and has never had a car which annoys me as my mum can’t walk and so I have to drive to their house all the time.

My Dad & his wife retired to the depths of Gloucestershire, beautiful house & garden, a lovely village pub, the rural idyll.
Now 20yrs later, he can’t drive due to ill health, there’s no public transport, GP & supermarkets are around 8 miles away some of which are unmarked roads, the roads flood regularly so they’re cut off, plenty of farm machinery & his previously confident wife will no longer drive them after dark as the roads are so dire.
They can get food deliveries but the local taxi service is 1 bloke who has to be booked in advance & usually only does airport runs!
They'd lived semi-rurally before & it’s a shame they still not there as ageing would’ve been so much easier.
Escape to the country but at a price…

I didn’t learn to drive until I was almost 30. I managed okay, even getting two buses to work at one point. However, if I didn’t drive now my children wouldn’t have the experiences they have, or be able to attend the clubs they attend.
We live in a small town and public transport is okay but not great, and doesn’t always run where and when you need it to.
It’s so much easier to be able to just jump in the car to get to an appointment or pick the kids up from school if they’re ill etc.

I didn’t start learning to drive until I was 26. We didn’t have a car when I was growing up so I didn’t have the notion to learn to drive. I had friends who drove, my boyfriend drove (now husband ) so I didn’t have to, I was happy to get the bus……… until I had a baby, a pram a changing bag etc, the buses then weren’t as good as the buses now and you had to fold the pram up. It was a hassle.

being able to drive has opened up so many options for me regarding jobs, I went back to college to one that I couldn’t get a bus to easily, my children have had so many options in life such as guide camps, chess competitions, dance competitions, we would not have been able to do these if I didn’t drive.

my children, now young adults were both encouraged to learn to drive at 17 and both passed their test at 18. Both having many options regarding their jobs.

I would encourage everyone who is able to , to learn to dive.

In the last 18 months, I have visited 19 European countries (all reached by scheduled surface transport), plus the Asian part of one of those countries, one African country (flew to that one), and seven Carribbean islands (flying the long haul, then sailing between each of them on a brigantine - this was no cruise liner). I skiied in Bulgaria, scuba dived among the Roman ruins of Baiae, snorkelled with turtles in Tobago Cays, and got absolutely plastered on a pub crawl in Riga. I'm now looking at applying for a Canadian work permit.

Is my life "smallish"? I venture that it has been broader than that of the average motorist. If I was on the hook for the running costs of a car I'd never have afforded half of it.

N.B. I can drive, I just choose not to. I've done the pitching up in remote farms in Wales too, bikepacking is great fun.

This sounds amazing!

But have you ferried three kids, three school bags, two PE kits, two prizes for the tombola, one art project, one Roman soldier costume, and a trombone across town to one setting, and then back the way you came and into the next town to another setting (minus one kid and one PE kit) for 8:50? 😅

It sounds amazing and I definitely didn’t think not driving holds people back from having full lives.

However, I don’t think running a car is expensive for everyone.

My costs per annum:

MOT: £40
Road tax: £135
Car insurance including breakdown/ car recovery: £300

Yes there is also cost of petrol but I can walk to work so this is in my control.

Also from time to time I need a new tyre or brake pad or spark plugs.

And I’ve also been lucky that my car has never had any major faults, just the above maintenance.

But I don’t think running a car is unaffordable if you can afford international travel.

I agree with you OP. I got my first car aged 40 and tbh I don't really use it very much. I take my bike most of the time because it's quicker, more fun, and easier & cheaper to park!