DS is in Yr9, no issues with behaviour up to this point. Had a call today from a teacher to let me know he had made an inappropriate gesture in class today - she described it as he made a "simulated oral sex" gesture to a friend. This has been classed as inappropriate sexualised language and DS has been given a level 3 sanction - a day in the 'reflection room'. This is the level below an exclusion.
She explained the decision to award level 3 was the decision of the head of year, and also that my son had claimed not to know what the gesture was. So as not to drip feed, the lesson was a history lesson on Section 28 so she said this added to her judgement that it was particularly inappropriate as could be reflecting homophobia. I haven't spoken to my son yet as he is at a club, however he has messaged me on the way to tell me he has a detention (obviously he doesn't know it's actually a L3) and he thinks he shouldn't have one because he says he was copying a friend to ask what the gesture meant - I am dubious of that excuse TBH, but I do think he wasn't being intentionally homophobic.
I felt on the call that a day in reflection room was perhaps a bit harsh for what DS did in itself (though appreciate that the extra context of the lesson topic means the it could be viewed as more offensive). Regardless, my basic assumption on behaviour is that parents should support the school. Both teachers involved have always been positive about DS in the past so I figured - this is their call, they are making it based on their professional judgement and knowledge of the behaviour policy, not from any ill will to him. So I told her thanks for letting me know, we'd support their decision.
However now I am fretting a bit, as I do think a full day out of lessons is pretty harsh. I don't know if it's even worth raising with the head of year as, having looked at the policy, there is no lower sanction for inappropriate sexualised language. I can't work out if it goes on his record in a more permanent way than a standard detention.
I never wanted to be that parent who kicks up a fuss for their special child, but faced now with something that feels unfair a big bit of me wants to argue on his behalf for a different sanction or at least work out how long it will be on his record and if it will impact a trip he is booked in on for next academic year (and argue that it shouldn't, if it does).
I think I want someone to either remind me that he has to accept the consequences and give me some pre-emptive resolve to deal with his complaints when he realises the actual punishment. Or, to tell me that actually yes I should stand up for him because it is a harsh punishment. but how would I do that, is it even worth challenging or do I just end up damaging our relationship with the staff?