School toilets

[Sweetheart1990]

School toilets!
Son text me to say he had walked out of lesson after being refused permission to go to the toilet, he had finished all his work. I have always told him to do this if he is desperate but he never actually has before.
He has been put in isolation.
I'm angry as I really believe that students should be allowed to go when they need to and he had completed all tasks so was just say in the classroom anyway.
What does everyone else think?

Have you explored with your DS why he can't manage to get through a lesson without needing the toilet? Because preventing the situation is better than fighting for a right to be an exception to rules or having a big fuss created by walking out of lessons in direct opposition to a teacher.
Does he have a medical condition? Is he uncomfortable using the toilet at break times (bullying/privacy issues)? Does he have enough time to go at breaks? Is there an issue with his diet or fluid intake?
The aim should be for your DSs toilet needs not to disrupt his lessons, not to win him the right to come and go as he pleases.

Considering you've heard only your son's side of this in a text, have you contacted the school yet for their side?

I’m always amazed at the students I teach who can’t possibly wait an hour to go to the toilet in a lesson but can manage a two hour queue at Alton Towers with a giant cup of Coke with no issues on rewards day!

Most schools have a blanket restriction on toilet access as many, many students abuse it. Yes, even your children, readers! They go to the toilet to use their phone (as your son did), they pre-arrange with friends to meet up and chat etc. All of this means there ends up being a queue so the genuine cases can’t just nip in and out in a couple of minutes. They end up out for 20+ minutes in a lesson which really disrupts learning.

If anyone has a workable suggestion of how to manage this better than schools currently are, us teachers would love to know.

I get that (I’m a teacher) but there does need to be some discretion used. It’s unreasonable to completely deny access to the toilet, obviously there might be part of the story missing here but if OP’s son is generally compliant and had finished his work the teacher should have made an allowance.

😂😂😂 he did
He drinks a lot of water due to having skin issues which are worsened by dehydration

That’s not what OP’s son felt is it?

This has to be dealt with then, somehow.
Toilets found clean are normally left clean so if cleaned more regularly that should be less of a problem to start with.

You don't think that children, most of which are sensible, deserve that or there’s nothing to be done about it, do you?

Does he often need to leave lessons? Is there a problem or does he just need to plan loo visits? Hard for people who aren't in the classroom to know.

How old is he? Understandable with little ones but thinking back to senior school and it was very unusual, I remember as I asked to go once as I realised my period had started. Teacher refused and was then very keen to get rid of me when she saw blood running down my legs.

I'm thinking if a big comp, lots of corridors and multiple toilets, do they really have enough staff to have them posted all round the school in case kids can't plan loo visits.

Not holding anything back, my son is a good student, doesn't cause any problems. He's been allowed to the toilet in the past and has never caused a problem by doing so

And then the teacher spends the rest of the lesson arguing with all the other students as to why he could go to the toilet but they’re not allowed!
Also as parents would you be happy for the teacher to pop out to the toilet? No you wouldn’t you’d expect them to go between lessons!!

Being in the classroom. Being supervised. Children do not just leave school when they have finished a piece of work.

He's 14, doesn't have any medical issues with his bladder but does drink a lot of water because he has skin issues which are made worse by dehydration. He does go sometimes in lessons, goes there and straight back, sometimes they can't get to toilets at break because they are full

He hasn't left school, he's left that room to another room with a toilet!

I think it's horrible that schools have these rules, really awful. I have a child with a bladder condition and these rules make school more challenging for them even with the leper bell of a special card.

However I would do no more than send one polite email asking for an exception, and if that doesn't work, encourage my child to just take the punishment in the knowledge that you have his back and do not consider it a failing in any way. Being able to take the consequence on the chin, keep it in proportion and not let it affect your self esteem is more useful to him than you going into battle over it.

It does have to be dealt with and I’d love your thoughts on how!
Even in an infant school our toilets are a mess at the end of the day we try so hard to encourage the children to use them sensibly but do you know what? Parents don’t! They allow them to pee on the floor and seat and not clean it up and not flush the toilet and generally don’t teach them to respect their environment! The parent just cleans up after them!

As a parent I can honestly say if the teacher needed the toilet then I would be happy for them to go! Also the teacher has access to private toilets in staff rooms, they don't have to fight for a toilet with 500 students at break time

I've walked out of important work meetings to use the loo more times than I can count. I've also started eating my packed lunch during works meetings when I had a boss who never got hungry himself and often used to let meetings run over into the time period when everyone else was hungry for lunch.

Well this wasn't after a break was it. How long had he been in school, an hour? If he can't last that long I think there must be a problem.

I would, and have done, if I really needed to go.

OP, I would be calling the school and asking them why leaving the classroom to go to the toilet results in the same punishment as punching someone does. Utterly ridiculous.

So you’d be happy for the teacher to wander off and leave 30 teenaged unsupervised?? Really?? It’s probably worse for staff as there would be a greater walk to the staff toilets! I work in a small infant school and there are 3 toilets for 30 staff most staff lose their whole time between lessons queuing for the loo!!

One toilet between 500? The school has a problem then.

How is a teacher supposed to know whether a pupil really needs the loo urgently, or just fancies a few minutes out of the classroom? What if ten pupils try this on, every lesson?

Unless your DS has a medical problem or a sudden attack of diarrhoea, YABU. And in encouraging your DS to openly defy the teacher and the school rules, you are contributing to a school atmosphere that is probably the opposite of what you really want.

I work for a large company in a corporate client facing role involving multiple weekly internal and external meetings. I also attend regular training workshops. I would say it is more unusual for someone NOT to need to excuse themselves for a quick trip to the bathroom and would never be seen as an issue.

OP I’ve said the same thing to my children. It’s entirely inappropriate IMO to withhold access to toilets.

They do all the time. My DS had a geography teacher who was also HoY for nearly 600 children! He spent more time out of the lessons than in them.

When are you going to do this, because you've been chatting on Mumsnet for over half an hour.

Also, have you actually spoken to the school yet and heard their side?