DSD’s new partner is now telling DH to get legal advice about our house

[BetLynchsEyes]

I can't believe how quickly my last thread filled up. I woke up to find it at 1000 posts which was a bit of a surprise.

Thank you to those posters who were supportive. It has been a difficult time.

Things have taken a downward turn. I honestly thought this couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but apparently it can.
DH has had another message from DSD early this morning. She said she and her partner have been discussing the situation and have decided they are going to get legal advice. Apparently he thinks the agreement we have in place “might not mean what I think it means” if DH and I ever divorced. Her partner is not a solicitor, by the way. He works in finance, I think. But apparently he “knows enough to know Dad shouldn’t just accept this.”

So now the man who has been in her life for about five minutes is apparently advising her on my marriage, my house and my legal arrangements.

DSD has told DH he needs to get his “own independent legal advice” because she thinks he has been “stitched up.” She also said that if he divorces me, he may be able to get more than his current share and “at least protect something for the future.”

I cannot believe I am typing this. This has gone from a nasty dinner joke to his daughter and her new partner discussing whether my husband should divorce me to improve her future inheritance position.

DH is livid. Properly livid this time. He has replied saying his marriage is not up for discussion, his financial arrangements are not her partner’s business, and if she continues down this road, there will be no conversation until she can speak respectfully.

I feel sick, but also weirdly relieved because at least DH can now see exactly what I have been dealing with. This was never about a joke. It was about entitlement. And now her partner has poured petrol on it.

This absolutely outrageous OP. If I were him I'd tell her she's getting no inheritance and he's spending every penny he's got before he's gone. How shocking that she sees her own father this way, like some sort of investment account. It's sickening.

If I was your dh I would seriously be tempted to cut her off and right her out if the will. He’s not her df but a ATM on his death bed. How cruel. Has this piece of work set up life insurance he’s not aware of 😮 wouldn’t be eating at her table any time soon or walking near a cliff edge!!

have decided they are going to get legal advice

About what?? A house they do not own? You and your husband could sell it tomorrow and give all the money to a stranger you find in the street and she couldn’t stop you!

Shocked at the update. But I agree with a pp who said it sounds like the new partner in finance might be the source of this new issue.

They were hoping for a deposit and obviously thinking further down the line of paying off their mortgage with a lump sum when they receive an inheritance.

It sounds like there is a lot of growing up to be done and that the original comment has been a blessing to expose this entitled mentality.

I wonder will the new partner stick around longterm or was he hoping to get half of a house in a future divorce as he is now suggesting to the DH of the Op.

This does sound like it might be driven by her new partner who she has perhaps told to expect a good inheritance.

With the costs of care etc no one should ever bank on an inheritance anyway, even if their parents are (seemingly) well off. And even if there is an inheritance then it often won’t come until you are nearly retirement age if your parents live to a decent age. So it makes no sense at all to be thinking about it in your 20s in terms of buying a house!

Sounds like she’d rather have money than a father, which must be pretty upsetting for DH.

Ha what a bitch your SD is!!! If I were you I’d change your will and specifically leave her £1 and put the reason why.

you can now happily ban her from your house that she’s show her true colours. Or perhaps you can just let her in one room as your husband only owns a percentage

i’m in a very similar situation with my owning my house before I met DH. My stepdaughter is also similar to yours with money and has caused so much trouble. I’m going to write her out of my will because of her behaviour but will be leaving SS some of my money as he’s lovely

I don't think it has anything to do with you tbh. I suspect that she and new partner (possibly his encouragement but she isn't blameless) need a deposit and assumed that her dad owned at least 50% of a house and would be able to provide this, possibly by re-mortgaging or some other form of equity release. Her remark at the dinner table was possibly a clumsy way of bringing the subject up. The fact that he doesn't own half of the house has effed up their plan, and now she's lashing out. I wouldn't get involved or engage from here on. DH has said the right thing - it's none of her business and isn't up for discussion. I wouldn't be surprised if the new boyfriend soon becomes an ex-boyfriend once he realises theirs no money in it for him.

It may have been discussed but its wrong

This is awful. I am really trying to understand the daughters perspective and failing.

so her parents divorced and her mum kept the family home.

he dad remarried and suddenly (I assume) had an uplift in lifestyle- living in a big expensive house and married to a wealthy lady.

daughter assumed it was all half his. That when he dies she will get half this big lovely house along with half the wealth that he has accumulated.

she planned her life from that point thinking dad is rich - therefore I will be rich.

Your husband probably should have let her know he only had a limited stake in the house. Had this bit come up now it would have been a big, emotional fight after his death.

I assume when he dies you inherit his share of the house? What provision is there for his daughter?

and while I am glad your marriage is solid, I do hope you have a pre nup!

Yep. A lot has happened since 3pm yesterday.

Wow thats awful

How are they getting legal advice without your paperwork?

I do feel like maybe you need to double check your paperwork and just make sure! I've heard prenups don't stand up in divorce court . Maybe that's what they're counting on. The idea that your husband should be trying to find legal loopholes to take your Money is utterly bonkers.

Have you asked if she knows the different between owning as joint tenants or owning as tenants in common?

She wanted money for a house - have you guys told her that her partner would then be in the same position her dad is currently in? Because she would own a larger percentage of the house than her boyfriend, and it would be protected so he wouldn’t be able to will it to someone because it isn’t his. They just sound like they don’t have a clue, and someone should sit down and explain to them how this all works in theory and then show them why it has worked that way in practice due to the different sums you each put into the house.

At the moment, it seems like she thinks you’ve stolen her dad’s money. She needs to be told that he didn’t ever have any more money than that, and his share of the house is the amount of money she’d have inherited. Nothing has been stolen. But she might actually get more due to house prices increasing, and him now having an asset instead of his money disappearing to pay rent. So she is better off.

So her partner has gone from being horrified at her joking about inheriting half to getting legal advice for your dh. He's had quite a turn around.

I’m relieved for you also that your DH now knows what she’s like and has see her behaviour and he is not going to divorce you for more money. I think phoning the ex to ask is a good idea. The fact that he’s decent and left his ex the house says a lot about him and he’s not money orientated.

What’s wrong?

OP I’m guessing your house is worth A LOT. I can’t see someone getting like this if it was a 350k semi. Are we talking a million at least? I guess if you were a materialistic bitch and had somehow convinced yourself it was coming your way it would be a big blow to realise you were wrong.
Also good luck to them on their legal advice. Hopefully they will get billed but told that in fact as their legal issue does not concern either of them, they will need to fuck off.

It would be interesting to know what DSD mother has planned/ her financial set up.

Either DH still hasn’t been totally honest with his DD about “I put in 25% of the money, so I own 25% of the house” or she’s thick as shit.

I'm guessing it's all come up in relation to her buying a house, expecting a deposit from her Dad, and buying well beyond their means expecting an inheritance to pay off her mortgage.

My bet would be on wanting money for the house deposit. She will have presumed her dad had more money or assets available then he actually does.
So you will probably find she was counting on being able to ask him for more cash with potentially an element of can you release equity and I have my inheritance now.....

She's found out that's not the case so is now spiralling as her easy let's just ask and they will give it to me is now not the case at all.

Hmm. Well you pay lawyers to pretty much say what you want, and a clever one will be able to give you an opinion on what you want to hear. I don’t want to be too cynical on this but basically the lawyers dream is an overinvested, argumentative and free spending client who will pretty much pay for what they want and will ignore any counter arguments.

The courts of full of those. Yes of course a divorce lawyer could make a case. They get paid whether or not the client gets their preferred result.

Still the cards are being dealt. Be estranged from me, the daughter, unless you give me my perceived due. Nasty.

No, it isn’t. He is not entitled to inherit the house or OP’s money. She can very legally leave that to her kids. He can live in it for the rest of his life, but her assets can be left to her kids and will be left to her kids as she has explained.

Stop making stuff up. He has no legal right to inherit ownership of OP’s home or money. Giving him a right to live in it for life, and leaving him cash to cover living costs ensures he is taken care of as a dependant. He doesn’t have any legal right to inherit the house or bulk of her cash.

It’s also a short marriage with no children. If they divorce today, he MIGHT get more but he really wouldn’t. He’d get what he put in. So a divorce likely wouldn’t make him better off. He has no legal right to inherit the house and money - that’s going to OP’s kids. He only gets the small share he currently owns.

Depending on the partner's will the entitled little madam could end up with nothing if she did, can one benefit from a murder one commits!

She is entitled to nothing in law, all she can expect is what her father chooses to leave her.

At 7 years its actually a short marriage, there's no mutual children to be housed so any divorce would try to put both parties back to their original position if possible so no, the chances are in divorce the house would be split according to the owned percentages.