DSD’s new partner is now telling DH to get legal advice about our house

[BetLynchsEyes]

I can't believe how quickly my last thread filled up. I woke up to find it at 1000 posts which was a bit of a surprise.

Thank you to those posters who were supportive. It has been a difficult time.

Things have taken a downward turn. I honestly thought this couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but apparently it can.
DH has had another message from DSD early this morning. She said she and her partner have been discussing the situation and have decided they are going to get legal advice. Apparently he thinks the agreement we have in place “might not mean what I think it means” if DH and I ever divorced. Her partner is not a solicitor, by the way. He works in finance, I think. But apparently he “knows enough to know Dad shouldn’t just accept this.”

So now the man who has been in her life for about five minutes is apparently advising her on my marriage, my house and my legal arrangements.

DSD has told DH he needs to get his “own independent legal advice” because she thinks he has been “stitched up.” She also said that if he divorces me, he may be able to get more than his current share and “at least protect something for the future.”

I cannot believe I am typing this. This has gone from a nasty dinner joke to his daughter and her new partner discussing whether my husband should divorce me to improve her future inheritance position.

DH is livid. Properly livid this time. He has replied saying his marriage is not up for discussion, his financial arrangements are not her partner’s business, and if she continues down this road, there will be no conversation until she can speak respectfully.

I feel sick, but also weirdly relieved because at least DH can now see exactly what I have been dealing with. This was never about a joke. It was about entitlement. And now her partner has poured petrol on it.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/thirty_days_only/5535861-aibu-to-say-dsd-cant-stay-here-anymore-after-joking-half-my-house-will-be-hers-one-day?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Well that escalated quickly… 😱

Well that escalated quickly.

Ye gods. I read your previous thread.

however she’s talking about a different thing. You have no agreement for divorce and she’s right that your inheritance split won’t apply. But no one pays a lawyer to test their divorce situation before that actually divorce 😆

I meant to ask yesterday- does she have reason to think your H will die soon? This inheritance talk for a house deposit is so weird if not

@TheMillionthBeautyAddict snap lol

Your DH has done the right thing. Your marriage and financials are NONE of her business.

What an entitled, immature woman your husband's daughter is.

Glad your DH seems to now be seeing her as she is.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this OP. She sounds very fucking entitled. I did read some of your previous thread but didn’t feel like I could contribute. I did miss the bit about the agreement you have in place though and don’t much fancy wading through 1000 posts. Would you mind just repeating what the agreement is please?

She can get all the advice she like it means nothing so just leave them to it

It might be a good thing for them to get some legal advice.
A family solicitor will tell them that they are being ridiculous because it’s not their money or house to protect.

I've just asked him if he plans to shuffle off soon and he's said not that he knows of!

He's in good health, thankfully.

It’s just OPs will. When she dies her husband doesn’t inherit her share of the property

This has escalated so quickly that by thread three, DSD will have murdered her dad to make off with the money.

She sounds utterly mad!

Just click on the ´see all’ button on OP’s first post and you will be able to read just OP’s posts and replies and skip the other 950 odd comments.

Well that’s a positive at least

If they want to waste their money on legal advice they can crack on. Any lawyer will be able to tell them pretty quickly that they can’t advise without seeing the documents you two entered into which I assume you’re not going to disclose!

Has your DH discussed the situation with his ex wife? You mentioned previously that she’s a lovely woman and it’s amicable, so she may have more insight into the daughter’s thoughts here or what’s going on. I’m assuming your DH does want to repair the relationship if possible.

What a nightmare. I really feel for you both.

She's clearly nuts about this, but was your financial contribution ring fenced for all eventualities? (I'm not even sure if that's a thing, but a copy of that document might nip this in the bud.)

Christ.

I think he should write a new will cutting her out completely. That way it won't matter (to her, financially) if you were to divorce.

Oh my goodness, I really feel for you. I was following your thread last night and felt awful for the hard time you were getting from some posters - I was glad to see that you provided the extra information that clarified it.

I’m in a similar financial situation as you - I bought the house that I live in with DH and his kids, it’s entirely in my name and all the equity is mine. I have provision in my will to leave something significant to step children, but certainly not everything as I am also leaving legacies for nieces, nephews, great nieces on my side of the family and various charities.

I was very clear with DH that I did not want to ever end up in a situation where his kids owned half of my home in the event that he dies first because whilst I may trust them, who knows whether I’d be able to trust other people in their lives in the future, and that was a red line for me in deciding to get married and live together. Your situation demonstrates exactly how people can be and how the prospect of future inheritance can sour things in some cases.

I was glad to hear that your DH is now standing up for you and your marriage and situation!

We're confused as to why this has come to a head now. She been passive aggressive to me for years now but has never focused on our finances before. We don't know where this has come from.

I've suggested DH gives his ex wife a ring and find out if she knows what's going on.

Well let them get legal advice, maybe you should too to make sure there are no loopholes. At least your DH is on the same page as you are.
I would just rise above it if you can, go on holiday, show them you aren’t worried

Is there a thread 2? Pls can you link it or tell me what it’s called.

OP it’s good that the wool has fallen from DH eyes. It’s pobably best to sit back and let it unravel.

I read the OP's first thread though wasn't on it, but I recalled her saying something about divorce being covered.

She actually wrote this:

'Everything is protected legally, in the event of divorce or death so I'm not worried. I could also give her the share in cash if it came to it. It's only a small percentage he actually owns.'

My SiL's DH is obsessed with what she'll inherit, he pushed hard for MiL to value the house after FiL died so he knew "his share". He was firm told where to go. Some people just feel very entitled to other people's money.