Is it usual to leave a 12 year old home alone for an hour or two?

[Whatsyourverdict]

Do you leave your year 7/8 (so approximately 12 year old) NT child home alone for 1-2 hours if you’re going somewhere local (10 minutes drive away)?

Invited my friend round for coffee next week, and she’s replied to say do I mind if she brings her 12 year old son (only child) with her.

Obviously I can’t really say no without sounding unwelcoming, but equally it will massively change the dynamic of our meet up having a 12 year old boy there (we normally have some pretty deep chats!) and I can’t imagine any 12 year old wants to go to his mum’s coffee meet up?!

Is this the norm? Am I out of touch for thinking a 12 year old could be left for an hour? Mum would be 10 minutes away.

No SEN or additional needs (as far as I know)

Very normal, once they are in secondary school

Yes it’s normal and I’d feel the same as you. Can you say you’d rather reschedule?

My 12 yo DD would be overjoyed to be alone in the house for a couple of hours rather than sitting listening to adults make boring conversation! But it would depend on the child I suppose.

But her 12 year old might not like being left alone for various reasons.

I’d imagine the 12 year old hates it . Ask to reschedule .

Yes, normal. Most kids will be coming home from school and staying home alone for at least a couple of hours while parents work most days. A child without any disabilities/sen should be able to do this, it’s poor parenting to have not supported them to become comfortable with this by age 12. Obviously completely different for children with additional needs.

I would reschedule.

Most 12 year olds are happy to be left alone at home for an hour but some aren't. My DD didn't like it at that age, she was fine a year or two later.

Yes , my DS is 11 (yr 6) and can leave him alone for a few hours. He also lets
himself in from school when we are at work. He’s sensible and has a phone knows what to do in an emergency. He often plays out for 7/8 hours at a time (we are more rural and it’s safer) so no issues about leaving him at home x

Normal to leave 12 year old alone at home, but I would imagine they would be happy to sit in a different room and just listen to music/play with their phone and you could have your catch up in peace?

I will leave my 12 year old for half an hour or so - to nip to the shop or something. She wouldn't want to be left for longer.

Yes. Normal

Very normal. If they don’t like it - well, we can’t always like everything that we encounter, but part of their development is understanding that parents are allowed lives too.

yes its normal. they are in secondary school not babies. however some kids don't like it, so I would just ask to reschedule to a time when she can come alone

I was on my own most school hols age 11 onwards. 8am till 4ish. Bloody loved it! Saw friends, taught myself how to cook, did housework, read, watched telly, went for walks, visited relatives.

Completely normal here. Ds would find a snack & a drink and settle down to do homework or play Minecraft.

I would probably say to your friend 'Oh, I'm sure (name) doesn't want to hang out with us oldies, wouldn't he rather stay at home on the xbox'? If she insists on bringing him, install him in the lounge with tv and snacks and retreat to the kitchen/garden with your friends! I think it's quite odd to bring him, none of mine would have wanted to come at 12!

Ask her not to bring him, what's so difficult about that?

At that age I was often left in charge of my 5 year old sister while my mother went to the pub with my father. Happened about once a month. This was in the 1950s. The NDN was on the phone and it was understood that I could ask her to phone the pub if there was any kind of emergency. There never was.

At 12 I was considered fully capable of travelling backward and forward to school by bus and into the city center. My mother never felt impelled to "nip" anywhere when it was a case of leaving me alone. We were not wrapped in cotton wool.

Well, it would be a great opportunity for them to get used to it then wouldn’t it.

Whhaaaaaat?!?!? Are you crazy? How
could you even entertain such wild thoughts!?! I think you’ve forgotten this is MN not the real world.

True! The sun must be getting to me!😂

Could it be they have an appointment somewhere first so he happens to be with her?

i’d leave mine alone at that age, but much of the time I was running them to various places, so they’d be with me if I popped in for a chat.

if you don’t want him there just rearrange.

Totally normal

It’s totally normal, I leave my 12year old home alone for 1.5hours every Monday so I can take my youngest swimming. He could join us but I think he likes the house to himself.