Is it usual to leave a 12 year old home alone for an hour or two?

[Whatsyourverdict]

Do you leave your year 7/8 (so approximately 12 year old) NT child home alone for 1-2 hours if you’re going somewhere local (10 minutes drive away)?

Invited my friend round for coffee next week, and she’s replied to say do I mind if she brings her 12 year old son (only child) with her.

Obviously I can’t really say no without sounding unwelcoming, but equally it will massively change the dynamic of our meet up having a 12 year old boy there (we normally have some pretty deep chats!) and I can’t imagine any 12 year old wants to go to his mum’s coffee meet up?!

Is this the norm? Am I out of touch for thinking a 12 year old could be left for an hour? Mum would be 10 minutes away.

No SEN or additional needs (as far as I know)

My 12 year old, all the time for 1-2 hours
I will leave him for 3-4 in the daytime but it’s quite rare

however ifs a bit different if it’s him and his 10 year old brother. An hour max for that as he’s not old enough to be responsible for him

This is what I’d do! There may be a reason he can’t be left/doesn’t want to be left but I wouldn’t expect him to actually be joining in with your catch up!

I would offer to go to hers instead (if you have childcare) so her son can go to his room while you catch up

I agree with this... we don't have a clue that a reluctance to leave him on his own is the reason she wants to bring him.

I would ask as sensitively as you can. Or just be brutally honest - it's a reaction to his age after all, not a personal slight.

Yes normal. It's the best parts of parenting a kid that age, you stop dragging them around the place.

My friend did this recently with a 16 year old if you can believe it. A group met at a pub for a few Christmas drinks. She was collecting him and plan was to drop him home and come back but they got delayed so went direct. Despite being literally beside a bus stop that would bring him home, he wasn't allowed go. There was a shopping centre next door and she didn't tell him to go wander either. He literally sat in the middle of the group for the night. I was very annoyed to be honest.

I leave my neurotypical DD in y8 home alone for a couple of hours yes. I don’t think she would be particularly pleased to be dragged along to a coffee date with me