Is my relationship with my in-laws fixable after the family chat?

[YourOchreBird]

Decided to create an account after being a long time lurker and seeing the good advice people give. So hi!

I’ve received a lot of bullying from my sister-in-laws on my husband’s side over the years. I’m very anxious and sensitive and I’ve always been a doormat with no boundaries when it comes to how others treat me. I’ve basically been taken advantage of by them, and called names and treated terribly if I haven’t obliged straight away. My husband picked up on it and has told his siblings that they need to sort their behaviour out. This caused a big falling out between him and his siblings. My MIL (single parent, FIL not in the picture) hated her adult children not talking as she’s very big on family so she arranged a family meeting for us to all talk about our issues.
My husband told his sisters that he thinks they’re bullying me and taking advantage of me. They denied everything he said and made up some unpleasant things about me. I got upset and left. My husband stayed and told his sisters that if they can’t treat me with respect, they can’t have access to him or our family (we have two children).
Since then my MIL has been organising family events with everyone but me, on account of she thinks it wouldn’t be fair on me to be around my SILs. I put up with this for a while, until yesterday. My husband was always invited but never went. He never addressed anything with my MIL.
I felt upset and angry a few days ago as I was left out of yet another event so I stupidly messaged the family group chat. I said that I’m sick to death of being in a family who don’t care about me and who are nothing but bullies. MIL messaged me separately saying she’s sorry I feel this way and that she does care about me. I replied saying she doesn’t care about me because if she did she’d have a problem with the way her daughters treat me and would address it instead of just leaving me out. I said she’s witnessed how I’ve been treated and said nothing, and that makes her a coward. She never replied.

My husband fell out with me over this, telling me I’ve made myself look a fool and have embarrassed him.
I sent an apology to my MIL yesterday and to the group chat, saying I’m sorry for my outburst, I just feel really isolated from the family and I feel like nobody cares about me, and it’s started to take its toll on my mental health. I said all I want is for everyone to get along and for this to all be sorted out. Nobody replied, and my husband is just acting like none of it has happened.

Is this even fixable now? Im now the villain of the family and I feel so embarrassed and awful

You can't make your SILs like you and include you

You can't make MIL side with you and not SILs

Your husband has been brilliant until you decided to jump onto the group chat and say what you think. Now he's had enough

If I were you I'd get on with my life and not worry about any of it. Live a happy life and let them all do their own thing

All this overthinking and angsting is because you want to control the agenda. You can't. So .....stop

I agree. The MIL thought she was doing the right thing but it obviously didn't help. The husband doesn't go to family events, he's cut off his sisters that sounds like he's backing you up. It doesn't sound like there is ever going to be a happy family situation and sometimes we just have to accept things and move on.

If my husband made me feel like this for sticking up for myself after years of torment that he’s witnessed then I’d have his guts for garters x

I believe that MIL is stuck between a rock and a hard place, she can’t control what her adult daughters do which has likely been the case all their lives and the reason that they are a bunch of bitches. Tbh, you should have started to tell SILs to fuck off a while ago. At this stage, I’d be telling them all to fuck off.

You’ve said yourself that you’re sensitive, get upset easily and have been a doormat. That needs to stop unfortunately, especially with people like this, go fire with fire. I’m unsure on how I feel about your husband, he does seem to have tried to have your back, but regarding his sisters you need to stick up for yourself as well, and clearly explaining to them that you’re upset doesn’t work, so tell them they’re a bunch of bully dickheads. He’s likely upset that you lashed out as his mum, you’re all adults and she can’t control what her adult daughters do and say. I’d leave it alone now, they’re making you miserable either way, so leave it settle and find your own things to do/happiness without them dragging you down.

mil will always prioritize her daughters over you, so i would stop expecting her to intervene with them on your behalf, ain’t gonna happen. stop giving them so much thought and importance in your life, focus on surrounding yourself with people that appreciate you. find something else to do with your time

Obviously it would have been better to have responded graciously to the MIL’s first message while both you had the sympathies of both her and your husband.
Hopefully, in time, you’ll be able to “make up” with both of them, but I’d not get too optimistic about making up with the SiLs.

I wouldn’t worry, OP, as long as you can patch things up with your husband he’s the important one here. Let him manage the rest of his family and keep them at arm’s length. xx