Page 4 | New horse all gone wrong

Chocolatecakeandcoffee · 2021-03-12T19:41:22+00:00

First horse, been a dream for many years (am 44) and has all gone wrong. He arrived with a cold and had to be kept in a stable until he was better. He’s never been kept in a stable and ended up being in for four days. On the fourth day he was tied up outside the stable while being mucked out and broke the twine and bolted off to the fields on the head collar and lead rope. No one could catch him so the YO said to put him in the field. I left him for the weekend to settle in (visiting him in the field, grooming a bit and giving a few bits of apple). On Monday caught him and led him to the yard for some food (just held the lead rope while he ate) then straight back to the field). Same on Tuesday. Wed tried to tie him up while he had his food but he got a bit stressy. Thursday he was ridden and was ok although tried to run off as the halter was around his neck as I got the bridle on. Luckily one of the girls who work at the yard managed to hold him. On Friday I caught him and was going to ride but he was stressy and one of the girls who work there rode him. He was ok. On Sat and Sunday I just caught him and brought him down for some chaff and carrots/apples. Monday-Tue he was caught etc and ridden on Tue. All good. Wed and Thurs caught him then he ran off. Managed to ring him down to yard for food. Today he bolted as I was trying to tack him up knocking me flying and almost running into a lady who was leading her horse to the field. He then broke into the field. I managed to rug him up and left him. I think he’s not suitable. He was lovely when I tried him and I thought he’d be great. Am so sad now...I need to return him to the dealer. He was meant to be a happy hack for me any two daughters but we don’t have the experience and I am worried he will hurt them with his bargey behaviour. Can I return him to the dealer as not suitable (I’ve let her know but she’s not answering my calls)? It’s been 21/2 weeks since I got him. Thanks for reading

BayandBlonde · 12/03/2021 22:21

Unless I have missed it, what breed is he, what is his history?

I would suggest going back to basics, get a good instructor and start with groundwork. Gain his trust but he also needs to respect you. At the moment he is probably taking the piss with barging and bolting.

Give him time, as much as he needs. 6 months is not out of the question.

Remember he isn't a robot. He may very well still be the happy hacker you wanted but you have to be prepared to put in a bit of hard work, time and understanding

Dobbyafreeelf · 12/03/2021 22:21

@Sarahlou63

Woah!!! Stop thinking of him as an animal and start thinking of him as a little child who's moved to a foreign country where he doesn't know anyone, doesn't speak the language, is scared shitless and needs someone to look after him and to rely on (even if he seems to be bolshy - it's self defence). At the moment his new field is his safe space and that's where he'll stay because whenever he leaves it he's being hassled.

Slow down. Go and sit in his field with a book. Chat to him, tell him you're scared and you know he's scared but it's all going to be OK. Relax your breathing and your body and watch him mirror you. If you must lead him, lead him around the field for a few minutes, give him a carrot and let him go again. Rinse and repeat until you are both 100% relaxed in each other's company. A horse is a 5/10/20 year commitment...the time you put in now will be repaid in years of enjoyment.

(BTW - I got my first horse at 48 - he was 27 and a saint. The next was a very opinionated 10yr old Section D and it took 6 months to make any sort of connection. 11 years (and another 6 horses!) later he is my rock).

You have bought a horse and you want to enjoy him - I get it. But he is a sentient being and he needs a calm leader that he can trust.

Agree 100% with this!

Original poster

Chocolatecakeandcoffee · 12/03/2021 22:23

I’ve been sat in the field with him every day since he’s been out and he’s lovely. He licks my hand/I groom him/give him a scratch and just be with him...he follows me around and I chat with him. I like spending time with him. It’s not that it’s the bolshiness when he’s in the yard and not knowing whether it will improve. I have two daughters and need a safe horse

OP posts:

lastqueenofscotland · 12/03/2021 22:25

It will improve with firm but fair handling but it sounds like you’ve lost your confidence completely in him.
Horses are very sensitive animals and pick up on nerves badly, and if you are going to return him I would personally have some ground work lessons before buying another so if there is some slightly “omg where am I”
behaviour from a horse you’ll catch it before it spirals to being dangerous

Original poster

Chocolatecakeandcoffee · 12/03/2021 22:25

I think he’s genuinely quite a nervous horse who I think would prefer a quieter yard...

OP posts:

powershowerforanhour · 12/03/2021 22:26

I would get it in writing or it’s just he said/she said.

Good idea, screenshot the call logs where you have tried to ring her, keep any texts and if you can find an email address, send one so that you have a paper trail.

snowpo · 12/03/2021 22:27

I must've been on about 20 different livery yards over the years, seen many liveries come and go, had 6 of my own. Very rare a horse doesn't settle in the first couple of days.
The odd ones that don't, tends to be the wrong yard for them & they end up moving.
Sounds like the wrong horse for you - you want something easy & fun not hard work & lots of worry. I would push for refund or exchange. Does your YO think he's suitable?
Sorry if you've already said but what breed is he?

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 12/03/2021 22:28

Get some decent handling training, or send him back and try a rocking horse next time? A horse can be an excellent "happy hacker" but an absolute shit on the ground, especially for a novice handler...

JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/03/2021 22:28

Send him back.

I bought my dd a horse. I’m pretty experienced but he was a nightmare. He was a bully who took the piss out of women. He was fine with men 🤷‍♀️

As a vet once said to me, it’s meant to b enjoyable.

Original poster

Chocolatecakeandcoffee · 12/03/2021 22:30

Thanks for all the advice. He’s a cob

OP posts:

Dobbyafreeelf · 12/03/2021 22:31

@Chocolatecakeandcoffee

I’ve been sat in the field with him every day since he’s been out and he’s lovely. He licks my hand/I groom him/give him a scratch and just be with him...he follows me around and I chat with him. I like spending time with him. It’s not that it’s the bolshiness when he’s in the yard and not knowing whether it will improve. I have two daughters and need a safe horse

That's a really good sign. If he's willing to be around you in the field and being gentle then 100% it's anxiety driving the bolshy behaviour.

Tomorrow don't attempt to bring him in. Go up to him in the field with your grooming kit and groom him. Experiment with him and see if you can get him to follow you around the field without any ropes. You need to be the most interesting thing in the field. Go up with no expectations just go and have some fun and see what happens.

Sarahlou63 · 12/03/2021 22:33

@Chocolatecakeandcoffee

I’ve been sat in the field with him every day since he’s been out and he’s lovely. He licks my hand/I groom him/give him a scratch and just be with him...he follows me around and I chat with him. I like spending time with him. It’s not that it’s the bolshiness when he’s in the yard and not knowing whether it will improve. I have two daughters and need a safe horse

That's brilliant! So you know he's a nice guy and it's just the yard/stable he's worried about - not surprising given that he was feeling unwell when he moved house without warning and someone stuck him in jail for 4 days (in his view).

Can you take him to the gate of the field, stand there for a few minutes then walk away again? Can your daughters spend time with him in the field getting to know him? Maybe one of them can sit on him in the field when he's on a lead rope?

snowpo · 12/03/2021 22:33

Guessing you don't want to spend the next few years reading him books & leading him over poles?
Honestly if you buy a happy hacker you should be able to get on & happy hack!!

Sarahlou63 · 12/03/2021 22:35

@snowpo

Guessing you don't want to spend the next few years reading him books & leading him over poles? Honestly if you buy a happy hacker you should be able to get on & happy hack!!

Or get a motorbike...

Dobbyafreeelf · 12/03/2021 22:37

@snowpo

Guessing you don't want to spend the next few years reading him books & leading him over poles? Honestly if you buy a happy hacker you should be able to get on & happy hack!!

Oh for goodness sake it won't be forever! But they do need to establish a relationship. Horses are not machines. Far too many owners don't understand the importance of building the relationship. You sound like one of them 🙄

TheFnozwhowasmirage · 12/03/2021 22:43

You do have a right to return if the horse is not as described. Do you still have a copy of his advert? If it states that he is good to lead/ handle ect,you have a case.,if that's what you decide to do. I had a mare who was very bad to handle when she first arrived,she was frankly dangerous. After a bit of groundwork she was completely different,and we adored her until the day she died. Safe as houses and so easy.They can be turned around.

I sadly had to return a horse last year, advertised as no lumps or bumps or vices. It was a wind sucker that cribbed and had a suspicious lump and a scar where a sarcoid had previously been removed. The dealer did everything thing they could to try and bully me into keeping him,shouted, swore, tried to belittle me. Then he tried to ignore me.He picked the wrong woman to mess with though. I made him come and collect the horse and ensured the money was in my account before I handed him the passport. Have you researched the dealer to see what their reputation is?

vixeyann · 12/03/2021 22:44

A good instructor, lots of groundwork and a good routine of work generally to focus him. He needs to settle and you need to get to know each other. It can take months to form a bond.

What has he done before? Are you an experienced rider ? x

Original poster

Chocolatecakeandcoffee · 12/03/2021 22:45

I have a receipt which says sold as a happy hacker.

OP posts:

snowpo · 12/03/2021 22:51

Thanks for the rolled eyes but you have no idea. I had my heart horse for 23yrs, we knew each other inside out.
This horse just doesn't sound the right fit the OP and I believe you should be able to ride if that's what you want to do.

powershowerforanhour · 12/03/2021 22:51

*sounds more like he's been mishandled from the day you took ownership of him.

Don't buy another horse.*

Harsh. It's not as if OP bought a Grand Prix dressage horse, climbed on and said ugh why isn't he doing piaffe when I want him to. A happy hacker should tolerate being tied up to muck out, being lead in slightly the "wrong" design or colour of halter, having its novice owner approach from slightly the wrong angle or accidentally briefly looking it directly in the eye or whatever without having a shit fit. There should be some "tolerance" of not-quite-perfect handling bred and trained into a horse sold as a happy hacker suitable for a novice. All the don't get another horse/ get a rocking horse stuff is mean. Growing up I a pony who nipped, another who would put his head down, drop the shoulder and neatly dump me whenever he could get away with it (less often as I got strong enough to get my knees into the saddle) , one who was a little bit ignorant in the stable at times but not dangerous. Later I had one who was talented but spooky and another who would lose confidence and start refusing if he wasn't really held together and given a lot of help meeting a fence on the right stride. I learned from them all and had great fun but I only got given them when I was ready. The first one was a pretty "easy" one. She had her foibles (who gets eliminated in the clear round jumping? She was ace and lightning fast at bending races though) but wasn't scary or unsafe. I'm sure I made loads of mistakes handling her- I was only 7 when we got her- but nobody ever told me I wasn't fit to have a pony and should stick to rocking horses.

Original poster

Chocolatecakeandcoffee · 12/03/2021 22:56

Thanks...I am really trying. I would never do anything to hurt a horse and am really sad that I don’t have the answers...I think a horse that can forgive a novice would just be better suited to me. I do have experience looking after horses and have loaned/had lessons/asked for help...

OP posts:

snowpo · 12/03/2021 23:01

@powershowerforanhour

*sounds more like he's been mishandled from the day you took ownership of him.

Don't buy another horse.*

Harsh. It's not as if OP bought a Grand Prix dressage horse, climbed on and said ugh why isn't he doing piaffe when I want him to. A happy hacker should tolerate being tied up to muck out, being lead in slightly the "wrong" design or colour of halter, having its novice owner approach from slightly the wrong angle or accidentally briefly looking it directly in the eye or whatever without having a shit fit. There should be some "tolerance" of not-quite-perfect handling bred and trained into a horse sold as a happy hacker suitable for a novice. All the don't get another horse/ get a rocking horse stuff is mean. Growing up I a pony who nipped, another who would put his head down, drop the shoulder and neatly dump me whenever he could get away with it (less often as I got strong enough to get my knees into the saddle) , one who was a little bit ignorant in the stable at times but not dangerous. Later I had one who was talented but spooky and another who would lose confidence and start refusing if he wasn't really held together and given a lot of help meeting a fence on the right stride. I learned from them all and had great fun but I only got given them when I was ready. The first one was a pretty "easy" one. She had her foibles (who gets eliminated in the clear round jumping? She was ace and lightning fast at bending races though) but wasn't scary or unsafe. I'm sure I made loads of mistakes handling her- I was only 7 when we got her- but nobody ever told me I wasn't fit to have a pony and should stick to rocking horses.

Well said!

powershowerforanhour · 12/03/2021 23:08

Oh for goodness sake it won't be forever! But they do need to establish a relationship. Horses are not machines. Far too many owners don't understand the importance of building the relationship.

No they're not machines. But if you paid several thousand for a labrador advertised as a very steady trained gundog, had it 3 weeks getting used to it but it wouldn't come when called and freaked out and bolted home if it so much as heard .410 shot half a field away, you'd be looking your money back. If you hired a public speaker for your event at a cost of thousands and they had a panic attack 2 minutes in, started crying and ran off the stage and wouldn't go back on, you'd have sympathy, but you'd want your money back.

Crunchiedelight · 12/03/2021 23:11

I actually can’t believe some of this advice 😂😂 OP he isn’t as described, send him back. You haven’t gone out looking to buy a project that needs endless hours of lessons and bloody groundwork, you want a loveable plod that you and your daughters can enjoy. Don’t let anyone guilt you into keeping a horse that is clearly not suitable.

There are plenty of lovely horses out there that will suit you. Owning a horse is a big, expensive commitment, it really does need to be enjoyable.

And he’s not like a little child ffs, he’s a bloody big animal that could really hurt you or one of your daughters. Get on that dealers case and get him sent back.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/03/2021 23:17

@Chocolatecakeandcoffee

Thanks for all the advice. He’s a cob

Welsh?