New horse all gone wrong

[Chocolatecakeandcoffee]

First horse, been a dream for many years (am 44) and has all gone wrong. He arrived with a cold and had to be kept in a stable until he was better. He’s never been kept in a stable and ended up being in for four days. On the fourth day he was tied up outside the stable while being mucked out and broke the twine and bolted off to the fields on the head collar and lead rope. No one could catch him so the YO said to put him in the field. I left him for the weekend to settle in (visiting him in the field, grooming a bit and giving a few bits of apple). On Monday caught him and led him to the yard for some food (just held the lead rope while he ate) then straight back to the field). Same on Tuesday. Wed tried to tie him up while he had his food but he got a bit stressy. Thursday he was ridden and was ok although tried to run off as the halter was around his neck as I got the bridle on. Luckily one of the girls who work at the yard managed to hold him. On Friday I caught him and was going to ride but he was stressy and one of the girls who work there rode him. He was ok. On Sat and Sunday I just caught him and brought him down for some chaff and carrots/apples. Monday-Tue he was caught etc and ridden on Tue. All good. Wed and Thurs caught him then he ran off. Managed to ring him down to yard for food. Today he bolted as I was trying to tack him up knocking me flying and almost running into a lady who was leading her horse to the field. He then broke into the field. I managed to rug him up and left him. I think he’s not suitable. He was lovely when I tried him and I thought he’d be great. Am so sad now...I need to return him to the dealer. He was meant to be a happy hack for me any two daughters but we don’t have the experience and I am worried he will hurt them with his bargey behaviour. Can I return him to the dealer as not suitable (I’ve let her know but she’s not answering my calls)? It’s been 21/2 weeks since I got him. Thanks for reading

The barging should improve as he settles, he just needs you to be firm and consistent. Maybe ask your instructor for groundwork/lunging lessons as well because it will help you a lot at this stage, and translate to his ridden manners. How has he been to ride?

Make sure you lead him by his shoulder and stay there. If he barges, make him stop and go back a few steps. Carry a whip and don’t let him enter your space. Also consider using a control headcollar or rope halter, they can work wonders.

Also maybe use a calming supplement to help in the short term, you don’t need to keep him on it but just something to take the edge off while you get to know each other.

He’s out with 8 ponies, yes could take him for a walk with one of them...I’m just so unsure of whether things will get better...also I don’t want to miss the window of when I can return him! Just so unsure...

My daughters Connie was dope on a rope in friends yard, unfortunately we had to move him to a livery yard and he changed completely to lead. We had to lead him in and out in a bridle so he couldn't take advantage. Would this help?

@Chocolatecakeandcoffee

He’s out with 8 ponies, yes could take him for a walk with one of them...I’m just so unsure of whether things will get better...also I don’t want to miss the window of when I can return him! Just so unsure...

The thing is thinking like that automatically puts you in a very negative mindset. Which is so easy to inadvertently happen when you loose your nerve a bit.

Tbh I think it sounds like separation anxiety. And you losing your nerve. As everyone else says 2 weeks is nothing. By the sound of him generally he and you were a perfect match.
What is out in the field with? Mares, geldings? When he was stables were there other horses there? Have you brought him in a tied him up next to another horse?

I havent read all the replies but I think you need to give him more of a chance. His routine has been completely changed. He has new horse friends, new smells, new sights. You need to give him time to settle and also a routine. Coming up at random times and taking him away from the horses will not be helping. Horses are naturally herd animals and you are taking him away from his herd and his instinct is to run back to his safe place. I think you need to settle him down in a routine for a few weeks before launching him out 24/7. Ideally same time morning brush, exercise then maybe out all day and in at night? You need to bond with him. At the minute he doesn't know you but has spent 24/7 with the horses in the field. It all stems down to how you feel though. If you have lost your confidence and feel nervous then you either need to get someone to help you get it back or send him back. I would be interested to know what his routine was like at the dealers? Maybe asking asking for previous owner info? He may have never lived out or may have only been in small herd turnout? Not sure. I just would maybe give him the benefit of the doubt for a little longer 🙂

He is led in a dually halter and I’ve been practicing getting him to stop/walk back when being led. He’s very sweet and comes in the field...I’m very attached to him and so sad that he might not be right...what happens if he doesn’t chill out and I’m stuck with a very bargey horse? He’s meant to be a happy hack for me and my daughters...feel like I’ve let them down as they can’t ride him!! What is the likelihood he will calm down? Maybe a busy yard with me not always being there at the same time isn’t right for him? Maybe I’m not experienced enough...v sad at this but genuinely want the best for him...

Presumably you requested a horse suitable for a novice to have fun with. He is not suitable for the purpose he was bought for. Two weeks is plenty long enough to know roughly what you have on your hands. Through whatever combo of genetics and training (or lack thereof) he sounds a bit neurotic and the barging and bolting is pretty unsafe. Back to the dealer with him, if at all possible. Somebody experienced can enjoy bringing him round, he can enjoy building a relationship with them. You can get one more suited to you who will enjoy coming in and getting lavished with attention in the stable and ridden. Everyone's a winner.

He's not a rescue dog that you got free out of the pound and could expect issues with. You paid good money for an easily handleable, rideable horse. It's not his fault he's like this but neither is it yours. If the dealer won't take him back and refund, then possibly investigate Trading Standards or small claims if necessary.

If she won't take him back and refund, then possibly investigate Trading Standards or small claims if necessary.

forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/trading-standards.513992/

Can I return him as not fit for purpose? I think it’s 30 days to return...

What was the yard he was at like compared to yours. If he’s been at a dealers there’s probably a really set routine where everything goes out at X o’clock and comes in and x o clock, everything gets fed at the same time and gets the same amount of exercise. Him not knowing if he’s coming or going won’t be helping.
But as I say I say this kindly, any horse will be a bit unsettled, my mare is the politest girl on the ground, when we first moved yards I needed to lead her to/from the field in a chiffney for a week! I usually can just throw the lead rope over her neck and she’ll follow me. I think virtually any horse would be the same and I’d have a think about that if you were going to “swap” him.

I was very honest about my experience and wanting a happy hacker to have fun with. A friendly horse for us to enjoy...I cannot imagine letting my daughters lead him let alone ride him and it’s been almost 3 weeks...

I’m sure you were honest about your experience but they aren’t machines. You can’t expect ANY horse, from a 2 year old racehorse to a 20 year old kick along to not react at all to a new environment.

Learn how to safely use a chiffney for leading , and use one. He won't barge you or run off and eventually you won't need it and the manners will be retained. Please ensure anyone who would lead him knows how to use it though as rough handling would be very cruel. You should be able to lead with a finger and thumb touch. I would also do lots of long lining and ground work to work on your relationship. Get a stable and feed/groom in it each day so he looks forward to your visits. Ridden work is extra but the ground work is essential.
Find his best scratchy bits (base of tail, under ear etc) and get him enjoying your touch. If his doesn't respect your space, no hand feeding, but if he does, you can play games for treats and build a nice bond. Get to know him, it's a big traumatic change for a horse when they're sold. My horse of a lifetime was a nightmare for the first year, had her pts 10yrs ago and still mourn her! The best ones are the toughest nuts to crack. Good luck.

The dealers yard is quieter. He lived out at the dealers and came in to be ridden at different times (so pretty similar routine) except he’s mainly led down for food (just chaff and a bit of carrot and apple)

I’ll ask the YO about a stable. Will be nice to have somewhere to groom/tack up etc. He is usually ok being led in a dually.
I really don’t want to spend a year with a nightmare horse tho as my daughters want to ride/handle him too
If he was just bargy for a week, that would be ok but he’s still like it and unsettled. Surely most horses would be more manageable by now? I think if he is put in a stable he will barge out even if ok in there

Some of the replies on here horrify me! It’s perfectly normal to expect a horse advertised as a horse suitable for a novice to tie up in a stable and be handled, even when settling in. And you definitely shouldn’t be using a chiffney as a novice. From what you say, the horse has been ok/better for the yard staff, so perhaps is just not suitable for a novice. This is your hobby, it should be fun. There’s no shame in deciding that the horse is too much for you. But I’d think about a different yard where you can have full livery and more of a routine for the horse, which will settle it more. And lots of lessons with a decent instructor while you get used to each other.

I feel your pain - I’ve been there and it’s very difficult to see a way out. Confidence is so easy to lose and very hard to get back but it can be done and if you really feel that beyond the difficulties you’re having there is the horse you want then don’t give up.

I have had help from two different people, one a Monty Roberts trained person and another self taught but very experienced horsewoman to help me with two different horses, one who was extremely pushy on the ground who used to tow me around, squash me and generally ignore me! Both people were absolutely brilliant and I would really recommend trying this - they give the horse the confidence it needs, you can see it working and that in itself helps you. Then they teach you how to achieve the same results. It’s not a quick process but is immensely rewarding. As an example my young bargy and rather large mare required 3 people to hold her for shoeing, it took 2 hours and we could only get 2 feet done a session. 12 months later and with help from the NH person and an extremely patient farrier she can now be shod, tied up by one person all round with no issues at all.

On the other hand, if you really feel the horse is too much and you don’t want to persevere then return it, this is meant to be fun after all and life is too short to spend it permanently terrified. I have also learned this lesson and the relief I felt once I’d admitted I had over horsed myself and returned it was immense - do not feel guilty.

Yes, this is our family hobby and it should’ve fun. Definitely don’t feel comfortable using a chiffney bit...the yard manager tried that on the Friday when he escaped and the horse was terrified and couldn’t be controlled. It was very traumatic to watch and thankfully the YO let him stay in the field (his cold had cleared up). I’m just unsure of what to do...I think he’s too much for me. I understand that it’s been a big change but not all horses behave like this when there’s a big change?

I bought an old school mistress when I started riding again about 12 years ago. She was very upset when she moved to me and she took 6 months to settle. She bit my mother hard through clothing and drew blood, she refused to be caught, kicked the pet sheep. After she settled she was an angel.
Didn’t try to do anything with her for first few weeks. I caught her and stabled her to feed her, then I let her out again. Groomed her and talked to her for hours. Took her walkies so she got to know the local area where she now lived, let her graze the grass verges, get used to things such as wheelie bins.

What area are you in? People might be able to recommend instructors/behaviourists who could help you?

I can’t walk him around as he would probably run off! There’s lots of help at the yard...the YO is v experienced and I’ve had lots of support...

Get rid of the dually!!! Who advised you to use that? Have you had proper instruction on how to use it? If not get rid! They are a fab bit of kit but are not for novice owners. If the fit isn't perfect you could be doing a lot of harm. It's possibly why he is bolting!
You need a simple rope halter or headcollar. Or lead him in a bridle. No chifney - again totally unsuitable for a novice.

Tbh op the more I read your comments the more I feel as though you have already given up on this horse. That's ok. And if that's the case then the fairest thing is to send him back. But I wouldn't rush back in to horse ownership straight away. It's a big leap from riding to ownership and it's not for everyone.

If you are willing to give him another chance then you need to take it slow and be patient with him and yourself. It is going to take time.

What % of horses are this unsettled when they move?

I genuinely think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew...if I only had a Crystal ball to see the future! I’d stick with it if I knew it would all work out on.
On another note, do I have grounds to return the horse to the dealer?

You can’t expect ANY horse, from a 2 year old racehorse to a 20 year old kick along to not react at all to a new environment.

Funny you should say that. Sir Gerhard, Envoi Allen, Quilixios and Ballyadam left Gordon Elliott's just over a week ago for their new yards and next week will be on the boat to Cheltenham to run in Grade 1s. And they are top flight young thoroughbreds not 10yo happy hacker schoolmasters. Do you think they have been refusing to go in a stable/freaking out when tied up/refusing to be caught except when they feel like it/bolting and barging all over Willie Mullins' and Henry de Bromhead's lads and lasses? I suspect not.